Being a young and handsome man in milongas?

[Steve Pastor]

There's a guy at one of the places I dance who has started to complain about women asking him to dance. He's neither young nor handsome. He is a pretty competent dancer, however, and if the woman is dancing too fast or too slow, too this or not enought that... he is unfailingly accommodating.
I've told him that all he has to do to get women to leave him alone is to give them one, or two, or more helpful hints on improving their dancing.

 

[dcharmd1]

they say that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...so...

 

[bordertangoman]

they say that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all...so...

Johari windows.... say something genuine but constructive...

 

[Dave Bailey]

I've told him that all he has to do to get women to leave him alone is to give them one, or two, or more helpful hints on improving their dancing.

Heh, good one.

 

[riverwaltz]

Every partner is interesting

I never turn down an invitation to dance, unless I am too tired and need to sit one out. I make it a point to dance with many partners and to choose them in a semi random manner. I can't know whether I am going to like dancing with a partner until I actually dance with them, so there is no point in deciding ahead of time, who I should dance with. Might as well dance with everybody if I can.

Once I start dancing with a partner, there is always something to learn from them and with them. The most basic beginners force me to pay more attention to the most basic aspects of my own movement, which is good. The best partners make it easier to get fully absorbed in the music and make it easier to express the music in movement

Seems to me that partner dancing is a collaboration and each partnership has its own unique qualities, challenges and rewards. If I can get tuned into my partner's movements, the way she moves, her timing and momentum, then we can really start moving together. If not, then we trip over each other like drunks, but without the hangover. What is not to like?

 

[flashdance]

All that seperates us is knowledge and wisdom... Don't let your eyes deceive you

 

[newbie]

Imagine that you are 30 years old and you are the cutest guy in a milonga and you are also one of the best dancers in the that milonga

It happened in an afternoon milonga in BsAs, I was 30 years younger than anyone. This did not bring any kind of pressure. No invitations or smiles or anything. The only interaction was when one gentleman came to my table and told me that I could feel free to invite the ladies sitting at his table.

 

[bordertangoman]

It happened in an afternoon milonga in BsAs, I was 30 years younger than anyone. This did not bring any kind of pressure. No invitations or smiles or anything. The only interaction was when one gentleman came to my table and told me that I could feel free to invite the ladies sitting at his table.

is this true or did you dream it?

 

[dchester]

is this true or did you dream it?

What? You don't believe he walked into a milonga in Buenos Aires and was the best dancer there?

Why all the cynicism?

 

[newbie]

is this true or did you dream it?

It's true. They were all very old, it's not me who is young. I was comparatively much younger. That's also why I was the best dancer, because unlike the other guys I could, say, stand on one foot. Of course in their prime every leader there was better than me at any age.

 

[Dave Bailey]

It's true. They were all very old, it's not me who is young. I was comparatively much younger. That's also why I was the best dancer, because unlike the other guys I could, say, stand on one foot. Of course in their prime every leader there was better than me at any age.

Cor, I have dreams like that too.

And about cheese, and there was one really weird one with.... errr... where were we?

 

[Flatfoot]

I am having to think about this issue as I get better. I like when I can dance with everyone (who's compatible) at least once, and prefer not to have to reveal my preferences. I also like when we rotate simply in classes; "go choose a new partner!" is very stressful. But I went to our local seasonal milonga recently and a large contingent of followers showed up (making it ~2:1 ratio follower:leader) that I had met throughout the past year but who didn't attend as often.

In fact, I chickened out and really only danced with the people I dance with normally, and I felt horrible afterwards. For the big milongas, it's a given that you are there to dance with new people. But there things are kinda sorta matched. I guess this is part of a larger issue I am dealing with. As a beginner I learned very quickly who tolerated or even enjoyed dancing with me, and it's been very hard to motivate myself towards moving back to those who didn't (even if they were polite about it). Recently, several followers I have been "saving from myself" for a while have made re-introduction/smalltalk to get things going again. It's nice to know I'm improving, but a small hint that I should be handling things a little different.