Best Milongas in the world for followers

M

MariaSAO

Active Member
I see many posts about the best Milongas for leaders and almost none about where is best to go as a follower. Anticipating and dreaming of return to normalcy, I promised myself that I shall travel more. I love going to new places.
I live in Germany and my question is weird here, since more and more folllowers are also leaders. The best followers are also leaders. I think I am a quite a good follower but I didn't learn to lead and I just love being a follower.
Until now for me the best experiences as a follower were in Berlin (Cafe Dominguez), Frankfurt, Münich and Wuppertal, Amsterdam and Budapest.
 
Hi Maria, I'm a leader from Hamburg/Germany. I find that an increasing number of experienced leaders and followers avoid going to the local milongas. I for one show up for talking and drinking most of the time. And of course I don't want to engage in experiments, thus I prefer to dance with my long known peers. The milonga is not the only opportunity for dancing. Many dance studios have an open practice space, rent their floor, or offer practilongas. These are the niches I do prefer. Calling and asking one of my favorite dance partners is much easier than playing the lottery at a milonga. I also find that the milongas in my hometown more and more are addressing beginners over the years. On the other hand, many experienced followers limit their affords to some encuentros or marathons, according to the motto, dance less often, but better quality.
 
opendoor said:
I for one show up for talking and drinking most of the time. And of course I don't want to engage in experiments, thus I prefer to dance with my long known peers.
Click to expand...
So no chance we'll have a Tanda if I come to Hamburg :-( (I had it on my list, had some great Tandas at festivals with leaders from Hamburg ).

I know exactly what you mean. I go to all these new places and everybody prefers to dance with their peers. I even experienced that people with whom I danced at festivals, meeting them in their towns they were less inclined to dance with me.

That's frustrating and it is not easy for me to understand. So much about social dancing. For me the beauty of Tango is having new experiences, challenges. I get easily bored with the same scene, same dancers, understanding the dramas of every Tango scene and usually I take few months break after a while. And I live in a big town, with several Tango studios and Milongas almost every night. Well, Tangoloft in Berlin might be too much for my taste, too, since you really have to pay attention not to end up having only terrible Tandas.

And I am follower, having to adapt to new styles and still I find that the best part of Tango. When I see a new good dancer I have to try it, it's like trying a new cake. Sometimes it works, sometimes not but it is all worth taking the risk, I had the best Tandas in my life with strangers.

May be it is so that most of the leaders (and I'm referring to men) are conservatives as character type. It would make sense, Tango and conservative men. May be it is about some insecurity of the men who go for Tango (but that would be a too sensitive discussion).
 
Not enough information. The answer varies a lot with the skill, age, attractiveness etc. of the follower, and just in general with what she is looking for. You can be in the best possible milonga if you are talented, young, attractive, and are looking for dancing with talented, young, and attractive leaders, yet in the same milonga you would sit all night as an inexperienced, older, not very attractive follower if you had enough competition for the attention of those leaders from other followers in the room. Conversely, in a milonga where an inexperienced, older, less attractive follower has the time of her life because she doesn't care about the age or attractiveness of her older talented partners, who dance with her all night (say, out of lack of other options), a young, talented, attractive follower who cares about age and attractiveness of her leaders can have the worst time ever.
 
WhiskeyPapa said:
Do you as a follower enjoy a woman lead as much as a male lead of equal skill?
Click to expand...
Very good question.
First: I have to admit that I have my unconscious biases there and I try hard to work with them. I am not completely relaxed while dancing with women, I am afraid that they are too delicate, not strong enough (though I am a very light person myself).
But I had at least two mind blowing experiences, women who were soooooo good, it was heaven.
 
opendoor said:
Calling and asking one of my favorite dance partners is much easier than playing the lottery at a milonga.
Click to expand...
I love the lottery. 70% of the time I lose when dancing with an unknown woman. 20% of the time I’m happy and 10% of the time I fall in tango love. Those odds work for me! :)

But I am not and experienced lead, so I should take what I can get!

Of course, some evenings I just stick with followers I know. I don’t have the energy to take the risk of the unknown... but when I feel good, dancing with new women is a great pleasure... and one I doubt I will ever give up.
 
Last edited:
MariaSAO said:
I see many posts about the best Milongas for leaders and almost none about where is best to go as a follower.
Click to expand...
I have not been myself, but I have heard from many women that Turkey is a good place to dance. The gender balance is in favor of women (not enough); Turkish men dance reasonably well and they are happy to cabeceo a new face....

That’s what I’ve heard anyway....
 
MariaSAO said:
...I know exactly what you mean ..That's frustrating and...
Click to expand...
And I can understand you, totally. So that stresses the importance of "networking". Seek me out on FB the next time you will come, my name is Andreas Kemper.
MariaSAO said:
...leaders (.. men) are conservatives as character type.. May be it is about some insecurity..
Click to expand...
That'll make an excellent new thread. Please go!
 
gyb said:
Not enough information. The answer varies a lot with the skill, age, attractiveness etc. of the follower, and just in general with what she is looking for. You can be in the best possible milonga if you are talented, young, attractive, and are looking for dancing with talented, young, and attractive leaders, yet in the same milonga you would sit all night as an inexperienced, older, not very attractive follower if you had enough competition for the attention of those leaders from other followers in the room. Conversely, in a milonga where an inexperienced, older, less attractive follower has the time of her life because she doesn't care about the age or attractiveness of her older talented partners, who dance with her all night (say, out of lack of other options), a young, talented, attractive follower who cares about age and attractiveness of her leaders can have the worst time ever.
Click to expand...
The dilemmas and adventures of a follower at a new Milonga

Let's assume I am an experienced follower, ok looking, slender, not young, not old.

In the beginning, I place myself somewhere in the background to observe the local scene. To see who the good dancers are with whom I would like to dance. The chance is that very soon I'll get invited by someone. This someone is 99% of the time an inexperienced or bad dancer, who is eventually avoided by most of the locals. For a while I took this as a courtesy for the local scene and for showing to the other that I can dance. That's is a big mistake, nobody would look how you dance with that bad dancer and you can't show too much anyway while you are just fighting your way to the end of the Tanda.

Learnt to avoid these first invitations. But from there on, trying Cabaceo with other experienced Cabaceo avoiders is big fun. All experienced dancers develop a high standard of eye contact avoidance, myself included. I must say that it never happened to me to leave a Milonga really disappointed and I always found a way for some good Tandas. But it is such an adventure.
 
opendoor said:
And I can understand you, totally. So that stresses the importance of "networking". Seek me out on FB the next time you will come, my name is Andreas Kemper.

That'll make an excellent new thread. Please go!
Click to expand...
Thank you so much! Still, would take such a risk?
I am not on FB, but I'll send you a message on this platform when I am around in Hamburg and you will have the freedom to give me a sign or not.
 
MariaSAO said:
And I am follower, having to adapt to new styles and still I find that the best part of Tango. When I see a new good dancer I have to try it, it's like trying a new cake. Sometimes it works, sometimes not but it is all worth taking the risk, I had the best Tandas in my life with strangers.

May be it is so that most of the leaders (and I'm referring to men) are conservatives as character type. It would make sense, Tango and conservative men. May be it is about some insecurity of the men who go for Tango (but that would be a too sensitive discussion).
Click to expand...
I actively invite unknown followers who look like they'd be enjoyable to dance with. I don't need to see them on the dance floor (and don't watch anyway.) I'm rarely disappointed.

I think the tanda system is at least partially responsible for the "conservative" behaviour.
itwillhappen said:
I wonder what makes a milonga that is good for followers but not good for leaders ... or the other way around?
Click to expand...
My (fairly obvious) guess is it's the amount of competition for the people you want to dance with, which is rarely symmetrical between leaders and followers, because most people don't decide where to live based on the local tango scene.

(btw, if it is indeed true that there are not enough good leaders in Russia and not enough good followers in Turkey, it would be interesting to understand why)
 
Last edited:
WhiskeyPapa said:
I love the lottery. 70% of the time I lose when dancing with an unknown woman. 20% of the time I’m happy and 10% of the time I fall in tango love. Those odds work for me! :)

But I am not and experienced lead, so I should take what I can get!

Of course, some evenings I just stick with followers I know. I don’t have the energy to take the risk of the unknown... but when I feel good, dancing with new women is a great pleasure... and one I doubt I will ever give up.
Click to expand...

for me (follower) the milonga is magical and mysterious place , the less predictability the better
 
MariaSAO said:
I see many posts about the best Milongas for leaders and almost none about where is best to go as a follower. Anticipating and dreaming of return to normalcy, I promised myself that I shall travel more. I love going to new places.
I live in Germany and my question is weird here, since more and more folllowers are also leaders. The best followers are also leaders. I think I am a quite a good follower but I didn't learn to lead and I just love being a follower.
Until now for me the best experiences as a follower were in Berlin (Cafe Dominguez), Frankfurt, Münich and Wuppertal, Amsterdam and Budapest.
Click to expand...
thank you for the great question, i will join you in dreaming of the re-opening and going to these places
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top