Body Contact Q

L

lynn

New Member
I'm sure this topic has been discussed numerous times but i'm still wondering about the boundaries of body contact.

I had a class last night and because my usual practice partner decided to bail out on me the last minute, i was partnered up with someone i've never danced with. During the class, the instructor made a comment about how we should stand fairly close to each other - he didn't explicitly mention that we should have body contact but was rather implied. This person i partnered up with pretty much took that as a sign that he should get up close & personal with me. Now, if he were my regular partner, i wouldn't have much problem with it, but i felt quite uncomfortable with this guy so I basically pushed him away when he tried to get too close. After a couple of tries, i think he got the point and stopped coming up so close. The problem? He wasn't too thrilled about me trying to keep some distance. I guess my question is, was i out of line in trying to preserve some personal space?? Is body contact the rite of passage that i have to go through and basically be comfortable with everyone and anyone??

Thanks!
 
If it makes you uncomfortable, just don't do it...

As you dance more, body contact becomes natural and you don't notice it at all. However, sometimes when you dance with someone who is not your partner, body montact can still feel uncomfortable because of your relative body position as well as your body types... You get used to dancing with your partner in a certain place, and sometimes that place is difficult to find on someone else...
 
If you progress in dancing it will become the norm. If you have the correct technique and don't improve the overall dance experience by using body contact you are making the dance less pleasureable. And it will be noted. Having said that there is nothing that compells you to ever do body contact with anyone if you don't wish to do so. That's a personal choice that is yours alone to make.
 
hmm, that's true, this person i was dancing with was substantially shorter than my partner - it felt a little awkward dancing with someone so "different" (for lack of better term). But i guess i was also kind of wondering whether or not having body conact improves the leading/following - esp when dancing with someone you're unfamiliar with.
 
Chris S. talked a lot about thsi a while back and the pros and cons and when body contact should be initiated. I don't have too much experience with that myself. I remember going to the Cornell University ballroom club dances and members of the ballroom team sticking to me. It was a little odd, but I soon got used to it.
 
I feel that the dancing can be worse if the peoson want's body contact, but doesn't understand it.. So sometimes you are better off dancing without it. It depends... Sometimes I just can't dance with body contact with some people. They just get too distorted
 
Body contact, done properly, does improve leading and following. Ideally the leader is leading with his body and not his harms, so if the follower has light but definite contact then she can feel exactly where he is going and respond appropriately.

I'm so used to dancing with full-on body contact that sometimes when I go social dancing I weird out guys because I just snuggle right up to them. It's kind of amusing, actually.
 
yep, i read a lot of what Chris posted, but i was just wondering whether or not it's something we adapt to and whether or not it actually improves the overal lead/follow. This is mainly b/c my teacher can lead very well without any body contact while there are others that i have body contact with that still don't have very clear leads.
 
It can improve lead and follow but it can also make it worse... It's is something you need to develop to dance at a higher level, at lower levels it can almost be harmful because with contact that's not achieved correctly, it's easy to forget to execute correct actions, or be on your own feet.
 
At this point, i'm focusing on my footwork/balancing..etc. I feel having closed body contact - while at times improve my following skill - many times it really has adverse effects on my balancing skill - b/c i can't tell whether i'm holding up my own weight or using the other person as a balance beam.
 
Now that I have been dancing for quite some time, I'm more then use to the contact. If the guy is a more advanced dancer, I never even notice how close he brings me in because it isn't forced, it just feels natural. However, I do have a problem when it does feel forced which I have noticed typically only happens with less experienced dancers in which case I push away.
 
lynn said:
I'm sure this topic has been discussed numerous times but i'm still wondering about the boundaries of body contact.

I had a class last night and because my usual practice partner decided to bail out on me the last minute, i was partnered up with someone i've never danced with. During the class, the instructor made a comment about how we should stand fairly close to each other - he didn't explicitly mention that we should have body contact but was rather implied. This person i partnered up with pretty much took that as a sign that he should get up close & personal with me. Now, if he were my regular partner, i wouldn't have much problem with it, but i felt quite uncomfortable with this guy so I basically pushed him away when he tried to get too close. After a couple of tries, i think he got the point and stopped coming up so close. The problem? He wasn't too thrilled about me trying to keep some distance. I guess my question is, was i out of line in trying to preserve some personal space?? Is body contact the rite of passage that i have to go through and basically be comfortable with everyone and anyone??

Thanks!
Click to expand...

as long as the guy isn't creepy, or whatever (sth bad, smelly?)

I think you shouldn't do it if you don't want to, i just have the feeling that it gets more and more usual to have that contact. as it seems that you have a "normal" dance partner, you might not be used to partner changes. I don't think it matters. It's not ballroom, but there are dances, where you dance pretty close (balboa), and i don't notice it really anymore.

luh
ps. didn't we have this discussion already in another thread. starting out with the feeling of the men's best? (i'm not gonna search for this thread, just think you should look for it, if you are interested)
 
luh said:
as long as the guy isn't creepy, or whatever (sth bad, smelly?)

I think you shouldn't do it if you don't want to, i just have the feeling that it gets more and more usual to have that contact. as it seems that you have a "normal" dance partner, you might not be used to partner changes. I don't think it matters. It's not ballroom, but there are dances, where you dance pretty close (balboa), and i don't notice it really anymore.

luh
ps. didn't we have this discussion already in another thread. starting out with the feeling of the men's best? (i'm not gonna search for this thread, just think you should look for it, if you are interested)
Click to expand...

actually, we did talk about something similar in the other thread, except that one kind of focused on whether or not body contact (specific certain body parts) felt "normal" whereas i'm wondering whether or not body contact will actually improve the overall lead/follow.

p.s., i didn't mention this, but unfortunately, yeah, the guy WAS creepy, that's why i kind of pushed him away....
 
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