BR-folk-square and Andrea, Beth, Carol, Debbie

19DancerBabyLin said:
I have gone to socials and danced with many social dancers. Some of them only do basics. Some of them like to make up their own moves. To some of them, experimenting with music and doing variations is their idea of being better dancers. And some of them are actually really good leads and come up with really cool stuff. I gladly dance with all of them, but I also am a lot more cautious when dancing with people like that, because they may dislocate my shoulders if the variations didn't turn out the way they expected it to. So in a certain way, I think that to beginners or social dancers, I may become a worse and worse follow the more private lessons and competitions I attend... not because I am all hoity toity about being a better dancer, but because I now see what MAY happen if things go awry. (I stopped skiing because I'm scared I may break my leg and not be able to dance.) Maybe "Carol?" the competitive dancer has chosen to not do these figures at all, or some ladies might choose to not dance with you completely?
Click to expand...

I am in total agreement. I know that I have acted similar to Carol in the past, but was having trouble explaining why. This is exactly what is going on in my head when I start refusing to do moves.

Especially with dips. Even if you attempted to do a really easy one that you can probably do well, Carol might not have been able to read your intentions and so stopped before you could put her in a potentially dangerous dip.
 
At studio socials where I dance in Boston, there are basically three leads (all pros) whom I will let dip me because I am sure (okay, in one case REASONABLY sure, that time he dropped me I was on antihistamines and my balance wasn't great) that I am not going to end up whacking my head on the floor. And my Rhythm pro, though he doesn't usually do anything fancy at a party. I believe there are plenty of threads on the boards, especially on the salsa forum, from ladies who have been in fear for their safety because of leads trying tricks they aren't actually able to pull off. Especially if there's a physical issue (sciatica, in my case my right knee is pretty much crap and dosen't always take weight the way it ought) I wouldn't be comfortable just letting any beginner guy try tricks. Heck, I'd be uneasy letting cantskiforlife try it, let alone a beginner, and he's lead me through plenty of difficult steps. (I probably screwed them up, but he was gracious about it.)
 
actually, I find that most pros are considerate enough that they don't even endeavor to do that unless they are fully confiendent that it won't freak the lady in question out...in my own experience, it is only the guys about whom I have the most concern, that that stuff is high on their list of favorites...when a lead is really good he doesn't need to prove it w/fancy stuff
 
Our pros will do it IF they know you--either their own students or a regular. (And at later dances I was an employee so I was covered on the studio insurance anyway. ;) ) Never a good idea to freak out the new people! Dips and tricks are fun, but only if no one gets hurt--that means being able to gauge whether or not it's a good idea to try it in the first place.
 
Two pages ago, me thinks F was going for the 50,000 posts goal. ;-) J/K I've always enjoy your posts and your perspective. Sorry for the HJack.
 
lol...was simply home from being gone for two days and reading through all of the posts I missed and responding...since no one was on at the time, they all came in back to back :)...unhighjack :)
 
Please don't dip me .... please don't dip me ......

It is so high on my pet peeves list unless the person ask me beforehand if that is ok.

I feel so violated when someone just grab my waist and drop/dip me. I don't know I just feel really really upset when someone is doing that to me. I am not scared that he may drop me or anything. It is akind to someone you don't know planting a french kiss on your lips. Extremely uncomfortable and rude. Especially in progressive dances. Please do what everyone else is doing. It is not nice to show up to everyone else that you can do better. You are meant to do the same thing and one does not expect to be led to stunts. Not even triple turns.

I think it is must ask first before doing sort of thing .... otherwise it just feels so rude ... unless if you are doing salsa which I understand ... and which I do not do because of the tendency of leads to dip and drop. I may say yes if someone ask me nicely and politely. Even though I still dont like it ....

The only dip and drop I have to do is if it is in my competition choreography. Even then I always hated it .... I think dancing should not be about stunts it should be about good simple connections.
 
Talking about male ego, I still do not know how to diplomatically convey it to a gentleman that he is giving me the death grip hold.

He may reacts like BR-folk-square ......
 
BR-folk-square said:
I take group classes but not private lessons. It would be nice if individuals would help each other. I have "taught" many figures to a number of woman by just going on the dance floor and explaining what to do, kind of giving them a little bit of a private lesson, then giving them positive or negative feedback when they do better or not as well. What they learn from me won't help them much in a competition, but will help them with the man they dance with.

This is just I have done, and others have done to me, in other kinds of dancing.

--Carey
Click to expand...

A general rule I live by is my lead isn't correct unless it works with any lady I dance with. So I should be able to lead a pattern without saying a word. If I have to teach anybody in any of the normal social patterns, my lead is almost always the issue.
 
Maybe we are reading too much into it. Seems to me there's a simple explanation for what was described:

1) Guy hasn't found something that seems like a practical path amongst the offerings of his local ballroom establshment.

2) Being resourceful, guy kind of invents his own solutions and offers them to ladies of his aquaintance.

3) Those who've made some investment in local ballroom offerings (which are often not of the same value/practicality for both roles) are not too interested in his inventions.

4) But some of those who are also not invested in incumbent ballroom offerings are interested, at least to a degree.
 
Chris Stratton said:
Maybe we are reading too much into it. Seems to me there's a simple explanation for what was described:

1) Guy hasn't found something that seems like a practical path amongst the offerings of his local ballroom establshment.

2) Being resourceful, guy kind of invents his own solutions and offers them to ladies of his aquaintance.

3) Those who've made some investment in local ballroom offerings (which are often not of the same value/practicality for both roles) are not too interested in his inventions.

4) But some of those who are also not invested in incumbent ballroom offerings are interested, at least to a degree.
Click to expand...

True...but add:

5) Guy complains about those listed in item #3 and doesn't understand why they don't fall into item #4.
 
It seemed to me that he had figured out that ballroom establishment students were not receptive, to the point of deciding to avoid them rather than to blame them.

In terms of blaming brfs, we don't really know if the ballroom establishment in his area has a practical, advertised path for developing leaders. Many places that have a decent offering for followers do not seem to have its complement - which is far from being the same thing with student and teacher genders swapped.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Dance Ads

Advertise on Dance Forums Reach dancers, teachers, studios, event organizers, and dance-friendly brands. View ad options
Back
Top