Can it be possible???

[WaltzElf]

Yep exactly. Finding someone attractive or desirable is a natural enough reaction. The problem is there are some situations that have a massive “X” plastered over them. A married professional dancer when you are an amateur and his student is one of them.

 

[Me]

I can't help but smile sagely. My current pros and my immediate-past pro are all married; and two of those have children. I can tell you that spouses and children DO have impacts on scheduling lessons, and, if you're pro-am, a pros availability for attending comps. Oh, yes!

That doesn't sound like a problem - That sounds like life!

 

[biggestbox]

Forget it ,sorry. you are attracted to him, want to dance with him but it shouldn't happen. Even if you seduce him (can be done) it is really a lose lose situation. If you are focused on your training keep at it. if you really the best student at the studio it might be time to "go on the road." Once you get your basic training, dancers need to be exposed to different teachers different styles. Take classes and lessons with the best coaches you can find. The best teaches and competitors look at dance at ways you can't even imagine. Find those people and learn from them. Keep learning, keep improving, also the better you become the more desirable partner you become.

 

[elisedance]

well summarized BB.

 

[Club'ni4ka]

Oh, thanks to all of you! Big thanks!!! ))) I really need it to hear....even bad things...but I need it! You all are really right about training with the better, another teachers, professionals! That's true, I need it. But you know I just think he will take it like betrayal. You know our teachers become really mad when a student goes to another teacher. It's strange, but he may think he's not enough for me like teacher.....

Another moment - please don't even think I have a crush on him or I'm in love!!! That's not true! I'm really sincere, I wish him the best in his life with the wife. The one thing I do want - is to DANCE with him! And only with him! It's the professional feeling! 'Cause I feel we can do it, 'cause I feel we're the power! That's it....
P.S. He's a amateur, not a proffessional.
P.S. Yes, I'm trying to get up at his level, I wanna be a pro....and I don't think it's bad idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chocolatchica
Yes, I have told him about my plans, It’s happened when I just started. At first he replied that when I can dance both programs (Latin and standard) We’ll dance! Like jokingly! But then he started to give me an attention about it. Example: one student once asked him about why he didn’t compete; he said he hadn’t a partner. Then the student asked what he was planning to do. He said – “When she grow up in dance (said that looking at me) SHE will be my partner!” (he smiled but not ironically! To drop a hint). And every lesson he shows to my group how we dance! How it looks! How we can!
It’s all maybe just illusions….but I’m so grateful to him for giving me a stimulus, inspiration to dance again and again, to get higher and higher…………………..

Thank you for your time! It's so important to me. All of your opinions!

 

[Gorme]

“When she grow up in dance (said that looking at me) SHE will be my partner!” (he smiled but not ironically! To drop a hint). And every lesson he shows to my group how we dance!

I had female instructors who do that to me too. It's all just a tease and a motivational factor to get you feeling good and to try harder.

 

[wooh]

The one thing I do want - is to DANCE with him! And only with him!

THAT is the part that worries me. Be open to other possibilities. Perhaps there's an even better partner that you'll miss because you're holding on to the possibly unrealistic expectation of dancing with your instructor.

 

[WaltzElf]

The one thing I do want - is to DANCE with him! And only with him!

Yeah, wow. See my other thread, but even though I only want to dance with my ex partner, there's a point where you realise you need to find someone else to dance with.


There does need to be a separation of dance and personal life between partners. Even partners who are romantic couples as well. This is something I'm not sure you understand.

 

[Club'ni4ka]

WaltzElf
so, if I don't understand something please explain it to me!
My opinion is couple must have a connection, friendship at least. We have it both. And we're honest to each other - he has a wife, i have a boyfriend. And we respect it. We can play love in rumba...but we also understand that it's just the dance. Nothing more!

 

[Twilight_Elena]

Hm. There's also another thing. You say you can feel a really strong potential and connection, and that you're his best student. When you're your teacher's best student, there can be that thought in the back of your head, that little voice that says "Oh, if only we were dance partners, we would be so good together". HOWEVER. Just because you dance great together as teacher/student doesn't mean it's the same in a partnership. As partners, you'll have to dance routines that will be very advanced for you. Also, as a teacher you're almost expected to "cover up" many of your student's mistakes, or at least support their dancing. Which is why it feels so good most of the times to be dancing with your teacher. But as a dancer, he'll have his own part to do in the routines and will not be able to play teacher. This might significantly change the way it feels to be dancing with him. Just my two pence.
Also, I strongly second the "get instruction from other coaches as well". It's the only way you can reach his level, and it may very well help you clear your expectations about him and about dancing in general, if they're not what they should be.

 

[elisedance]

Club'ni4ka: Great to hear some more input and that you are aware of some of the hazzards in yoru current dream. So how to get there?

'Partnering' is an interesting concept. What it really means is that two equals come together to create more than they can by themselves. this is true in Law, medicine, science (my flield) and every other one. A partnership is a meeting o f minds.

Let suppose your coach actually did invite you to partner him, what would be the outcome? How would you change from being his student (traineed mentoree) to being his partner (equal)? I doubt you have ever thought about it that way before. The BEST way to do that would be to be trained separately from him - that way when you dance together and he does something right, you can say -' that feels fantastic, now I can make *** shape/movement/emotion' and when he does something wrong you can say the opposite 'may work for you but I can't get my head around/do my step/lower correctin' or whatever. You learn by his trials and he learns by your outcomes. Thats what makes a real partnership.

thus, as said immediately above and a long way back: THE BEST WAY TO BECOME THE PARTNER OF YOUR CURRENT PRO IS TO LEAVE HIM AND LEARN FROM SOMEONE ELSE. It will make you both an more capable and comfortable in your self and make you infinitely a better potential partner for him. At the moment the dynamics are wrong. Yes, you could end up as dancers but you will always be second fiddle to his excellence. As said earlier, a healthy way to think of this is think beyond this partnership and what you have to offer the next one.

 

[fascination]

well she also states that he isn't a pro so I think we have some linguistic issues going on in the midst of this whole scene as well....I would also say that there are plenty of times when partnerships begin long before the skill level is approaching equal

 

[chocolatchica]

Oh, thanks to all of you! Big thanks!!! ))) I really need it to hear....even bad things...but I need it! You all are really right about training with the better, another teachers, professionals! That's true, I need it. But you know I just think he will take it like betrayal. You know our teachers become really mad when a student goes to another teacher. It's strange, but he may think he's not enough for me like teacher.....

Another moment - please don't even think I have a crush on him or I'm in love!!! That's not true! I'm really sincere, I wish him the best in his life with the wife. The one thing I do want - is to DANCE with him! And only with him! It's the professional feeling! 'Cause I feel we can do it, 'cause I feel we're the power! That's it....
P.S. He's a amateur, not a proffessional.
P.S. Yes, I'm trying to get up at his level, I wanna be a pro....and I don't think it's bad idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chocolatchica
Yes, I have told him about my plans, It’s happened when I just started. At first he replied that when I can dance both programs (Latin and standard) We’ll dance! Like jokingly! But then he started to give me an attention about it. Example: one student once asked him about why he didn’t compete; he said he hadn’t a partner. Then the student asked what he was planning to do. He said – “When she grow up in dance (said that looking at me) SHE will be my partner!” (he smiled but not ironically! To drop a hint). And every lesson he shows to my group how we dance! How it looks! How we can!
It’s all maybe just illusions….but I’m so grateful to him for giving me a stimulus, inspiration to dance again and again, to get higher and higher…………………..

Thank you for your time! It's so important to me. All of your opinions!

This is a very difficult situation that only you can decide on. You are with him all the time and know what its like while we only hear pieces of the story. Sounds really complicating though. If you really want to the know the potential of where this is going I suggest you sit him doesn't and talk to him about it. Since you have already asked him casually and still wasn't sure about his response I would take it to a more serious level and expressing to him that you want to know if this is a possibility for the future or not. I don't know your instructor at all but I do know that some instructors to play around with their students to get more lessons out of them or so they won't change to another teacher. Not too get too specific but that happened to me at a franchise studio and looking back I am very disappointed that this teacher took advantage of his students in that manner. So please be careful because you never know. If these are his intentions, he should be straightforward and serious about it because such a partnership would take a lot of commitment and should be dealt with in a serious matter. Not to be mean, just sounds like he's playing around with you a little. Like I said before, I only wish the best for you so maybe you should step back from this situation for a second and look at it from a clearer point of view. Are you seeing what you want to see, or what is really there?

 

[chocolatchica]

Club'ni4ka: Great to hear some more input and that you are aware of some of the hazzards in yoru current dream. So how to get there?

'Partnering' is an interesting concept. What it really means is that two equals come together to create more than they can by themselves. this is true in Law, medicine, science (my flield) and every other one. A partnership is a meeting o f minds.

Let suppose your coach actually did invite you to partner him, what would be the outcome? How would you change from being his student (traineed mentoree) to being his partner (equal)? I doubt you have ever thought about it that way before. The BEST way to do that would be to be trained separately from him - that way when you dance together and he does something right, you can say -' that feels fantastic, now I can make *** shape/movement/emotion' and when he does something wrong you can say the opposite 'may work for you but I can't get my head around/do my step/lower correctin' or whatever. You learn by his trials and he learns by your outcomes. Thats what makes a real partnership.

thus, as said immediately above and a long way back: THE BEST WAY TO BECOME THE PARTNER OF YOUR CURRENT PRO IS TO LEAVE HIM AND LEARN FROM SOMEONE ELSE. It will make you both an more capable and comfortable in your self and make you infinitely a better potential partner for him. At the moment the dynamics are wrong. Yes, you could end up as dancers but you will always be second fiddle to his excellence. As said earlier, a healthy way to think of this is think beyond this partnership and what you have to offer the next one.

I agree!!! It is so true. My expartner was a lot better than me and taught me for a while (he was an instructor) but I would never have been able to come up to his level without my extra coach. If you afraid that he'll think your dumping him as a teacher just know that you are not dropping him, you are getting extra teaching. A well rounded dancer always has experience from other coaches. No one person holds everything you need to know about dancing (except Eugene and Maria lol jk).

 

[Easy]

One thing keeps ringing in my thoughts..he's an amateur, but he's your teacher. Always makes me wonder what the term amateur really means...anyway that's another topic.

Chocogirl hit it on the head. If you're feeling this way, you gotta talk to him about it. He needs to know. Anyhow, it reminds me of a student I once had. She was a great student. She learned very fast. I had been trained as a professional for over 18 years. She had been trained by me for a year or so. I taught her a lot, but she began to think she was on the same level as me. I'm a great teacher, but to think she understood all of the nuances in dancing that took me years to understand, perform, and am still learning, bugged me. It was not reality. She began to confide in other students that she should be my pro partner, and that she was better than my wife....the gal who actually trained me initially lol It began to become a problem. If my wife was going to a competition, she would cancel blah blah blah. I hated every moment. It was a shame, because she was such a great student. I miss dancing with her to this day, but I do not miss all of the drama and the problems that came with it.

Make sure it's really just about the dancing. Talk to him. If he doesn't see it your way, continue taking lessons with this teaching amateur, but also seek dance lessons elsewhere. You might find what you're looking for. If he doesn't want a partnership with you, how could he possibly feel betrayed?