Cancelling dance partners

[Lockstep]

Wonder whether you know the problem:

one of my dance partners in ballroom keeps cancelling! I mean, on average I think we attend maybe 3/5 of the classes. Exam this, dentist that, you know the deal! Now, I'd think she just doesn't like dancing that much or so...Except the thing is, I'm dancing with her at a level below my own, just because she needed a partner, and she even had to pay an extra fee to get me there (school wouldn't let me dance for free even though its a lower level and Im kinda just helping out). So it was a pretty major investment for her as the classes are pretty expensive. When she *is* there she's learning a [lot] and I try to teach her as much as I can, but she simply lacks all dedication whatsoever!

I'd quit, but then she kinda paid for me being there and I doubt she'd find another partner before the end of the year, so I am kinda obliged to stick around. Definitely not going to continue this dancing with her next year though!

Just wondering whether anyone has been in similar situation, got any advice, or can explain the workings of her mind to me!

 

[Chris Stratton]

I wonder if in a certain sense, if she's paying she feels like it's her money to get value from or waste at her own choice? Perhaps she's treating you more like an employee than you had felt would be the case?

 

[Lockstep]

well yeah, it is kinda of her money - shes basically 'renting' me, except that id expect that one of the conditions of the agreement would imply that we actually *go* to the dancing...otherwise i'd have gone help out someone else!

she also has this nice tendency to cancel like 2 hours beforehand, when its usually too late to go schedule something else.

as i said though, i mainly just dont get what is going on in her head

 

[Chris Stratton]

Sounds like she needs a pro-am partner whose time she actually pays for instead of just his expenses. He might be frustrated at times too, but he'll get a paid lesson-length break out of it, so...

 

[Lockstep]

yeah next time i do this type of thing ill think of some deposit type system....

btw, isnt it true that in argentina or so there are tango-dancers in the clubs who simply charge per-dance? that might work

to me entire things seem to kind of go against the spirit of dancing though...

guess ill just not do this type of thing at all anymore. period.

 

[Vin]

You should give her a you pay anyway window. If she's paying for your time and she cancels on you with less than x-amount of time before you were supposed to meet than you should charge her for that time you were supposed to dance. It is a perfectly acceptable business practice.

 

[delamusica]

Have you brought the issue up with her? If you tell her that her flaky attitude about dancing is a real problem for you, she might make an effort to change. There's no need to be confrontational, but talking directly and clearly to people who are upsetting you usually manages to help. (at least that way everybody's clear on where everybody stands)

 

[Lockstep]

Have you brought the issue up with her? If you tell her that her flaky attitude about dancing is a real problem for you, she might make an effort to change. There's no need to be confrontational, but talking directly and clearly to people who are upsetting you usually manages to help. (at least that way everybody's clear on where everybody stands)

its on my 'to-do' list for when I next see her

 

[delamusica]

Have you brought the issue up with her? If you tell her that her flaky attitude about dancing is a real problem for you, she might make an effort to change. There's no need to be confrontational, but talking directly and clearly to people who are upsetting you usually manages to help. (at least that way everybody's clear on where everybody stands)

its on my 'to-do' list for when I next see her

Let us know how it goes!

 

[Lockstep]

well, the problem solved itself:

she's going to the UK for a month, which basically means that we're gonna stop dancing now, as I told her that next year I won't go on anyway...

still got my other dance partner though, with whom i enjoy dancing a lot more, so I'm not really too sad about this

 

[newbie]

btw, isnt it true that in argentina or so there are tango-dancers in the clubs who simply charge per-dance? that might work

.

I saw this in Buenos-Aires last year. Appointed argentine taxi-boys and taxi-girls who were charging a fee. It was within a festival, they had a special uniform that made them recognizable. You did not pay directly to them, you had to buy tickets at the bar. I think it was something like half-a-dollar for one dance.