Career Choice.....Sigh.....

[chocolatchica]

So I was doing my homework right now and while reviewing my work I thought, "I'm getting older by the day.....what do I want to be???" I thought I knew what I wanted to do but things have changed drastically in the last couple of years. The thing about it is that some of my choices aren't even remotely similar and it's getting me worried that I haven't chosen yet. I know a lot of people say that I have my whole life to choose but I owuld rather narrow it down and really start to master what it is I will be doing. I always wanted to be a professional dancer seeing as how I have done ballet since a child but I took a long break and had my son and feel like I haven't danced at all. I have lost a lot of my technique (the most important stuff ever). So then I got my EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) certificate which was wicked hard and loved working in that. Only prob was that it was very difficult to have someone watch my son for 24-48 hours for my shifts. And I would come home at times very depressed when we would get children that had drowned or any casualty of that nature. So I went into business and financing because I like playing the market (stocks) and love economics. Main point.....I'm all over the board and can't major in paramedic, economics, business, and dance. Can anyone lend a word of advice to calm my mind???

 

[fascination]

chica...don't fret

A) there is no rule that you have to ever figure out who you are or what you want to be...lots of people force it and end up dedicating years to something they hate so that they can feel successful
B) you are young...neither my spouse nor I discovered our real passions or vocations until our mid -thirties
C) just keep reflecting upon what your greatest gifts and greatest limitations are and what gives you joy and keep your eyes open to make decsions that move you in the direction of the things that give you joy and the things for which you have skill... trust that with reflection clarity will come...
D)life is too short to feel that sort of pressure...enjoy today, reflect and plan as ideas unfold for you
F) nothing you've done thusfar is a wasted only a piece of the puzzle teaching you something about yourself

 

[Laura]

Specialization is for insects. It's totally awesome that you can do and have done so many things.

 

[SwingWaltz]

Specialization is for insects.

Or mono-clonal B lymphocytes and produce IgG. LoL
Couldn't help it....been studying immunology too long.


Do what you love doing the most and best luck with it.
24-48hr shifts sounds really depressing.

 

[bordertangoman]

Ride as many horses as you can;

I trained in Shiatsu and was very good at it, but the fraughtness of failing another exam
and trying to make enough money as a living; drove me back to the second "oldest profession" (architecture: architects are always getting f***ed by somebody)

so now I teach tango, am a part time father, sculpt,sail, learning to play the saxamaphone, enjoy bird-watching and country side walks (and in rapid danger of writing a lonely hearts add; WLTM......... therapist with a soft spot for lost causes)

so you can never have too many strings to ones bow; its finding the one that brings you most joy and balancing it with the one that brings in the money.

 

[motardmom]

I'm in a similar boat, Chica. I decided to go into dentistry when I was 14, in my grandios imaginings I was going to be an oral surgeon. I didn't have the encouragement/support from my family... I finally decided that I couldn't do it because I am a girl and I should get married and have babies. (Old fashioned family values... not necessarily bad - works for some people - but didn't really do anything for me.) I did go into dentistry, but aimed low and ended up with a technical degree and few options.

Now I'm way past that, I want to go back to school. I am experiencing the same schizophrenia: I enjoy physics and my location is a very good area to be employed in physics and or engineering, there is already a nuclear testing area nearby and a uranium enrichment plant has announced to locate here in the next 5 years. I am good with people and sensing their emotions and asking them the right questions to help them figure out their problems - I think I'd be a good psychologist; I have just spent the last week reading 3 books about Afghan women and I'm fascinated by their lousy lifestyle, this type of focus on the study of different cultures is not unusual for me - I think I could really focus my life on anthropology and I would love humanitarian work, perhaps if I coupled an anthropology background with a medical degree which I already have a disposition towards.....

Yeah... so how do you narrow it down? LOL I can't really do everything....

I've decided that I will make that decision later. For now, I'm leaning heavily towards physics. I am going to make sure, however, that my focus isn't so narrow that I can't change my mind later (as in with my technical degree, no credits transfer, so I've started from scratch). I want the freedom to be able to say, "My boss is an ___, I am going to stick it out and take another couple semesters of school, get my masters in (something else) and go do that instead of work for this jerk." Or maybe get a PhD in whatever and be his boss! A bachelors degree is the only option I'm considering. Ask around: how many people are actually employed in the field of study that their degree is in? Another consideration is: go where the money is. (Big argument against anthropology/humanitarian work lol). I'm a single mom with a mortgage payment I don't want to be paying on when I'm 45.

 

[cornutt]

Choco, one thing you ought to think about is what kind of lifestyle you want to pursue, and what you want to spend most of your time on. If you envision yourself having a comfortable lifestyle with a reasonably secure job, then finance is probably the way to go. Downside: You'll spend a lot of time sitting at a desk and staring at a computer screen. (Which is actually not so bad IHMO, but it's not for everybody.) If you'd rather live a physically active lifestyle with lots of contact with other people, and material things aren't so important to you, then pursue the dancing. Downside: general lack of stability. Unpredictable income, travel, and difficulties with insurance. (Some people are fine with all of that, especially younger people. However, if you do go this way, it might be advisable to get some finance training anyway so you have something to fall back on.)

The EMT thing is tough. It takes a certain special kind of person to do that job. Some years ago, I had somebody recruiting me to apply for a job with the FAA as an aircraft accident investigator. As far as technical knowledge, I had the resume for it. I didn't go that way because I didn't know if I could deal with the psychological stresses. And, now that I've had to play a role in one major accident investigation (a role I didn't particularly want, but circumstances forced me into it), I know I made the right decision.

motardmom, I have a co-worker who graduated with a double major in systems engineering and psychology. She says the psych training has served her well in her engineering position.

 

[nucat78]

I have a co-worker who graduated with a double major in systems engineering and psychology. She says the psych training has served her well in her engineering position.

Yeah, when I was in telecom, we had plenty of crazies to work with, most of them in upper management.

I think the key is to balance love of career with sufficient funds to live on. I've been a software engineer, project manager, financial planner, substitute teacher and university administrator. I'd be a dance teacher in a flash if I had the training for it. So for now, I'm going to try to eat and breathe dancing while I continue my day job in the hope that someday I'll be able to generate some kind of living from dance. If not, I'll at least become a proficient dancer.

Oh, my BA is in astronomy and I was in a PhD program when I sold out to AT&T.

 

[lcdancesport]

...I think the key is to balance love of career with sufficient funds to live on...

...So for now, I'm going to try to eat and breathe dancing while I continue my day job in the hope that someday I'll be able to generate some kind of living from dance. If not, I'll at least become a proficient dancer...

This is a great thread because I'm riding this train as well. I went to school originally for computers (web development and design), but there wasn't a school that offered a four year program for it. So I transferred schools to be a teacher, and had a minor in computer web design (another reason for the transfer). Well the school turned the minor into a major and I dropped the teaching major for this one instead.

Finally graduated, found a job, disliked job, found another job, found DANCE, started teaching dance while keeping the computer day job... and have finally decided I'm going to make my dance career the real deal. See how the whole teaching thing comes back full circle?

My hours at the studio have been on a steady incline, which is fantastic, but holy cow am I'm working my butt off towards it. I work about 60 hours a week between both jobs and I'm totally drained, but I have a goal in mind and intend to reach it.

Now I'm young, 25, and have the ability to take some risks still, even though I am a homeowner. I believe if you find something you love to do, you have to go for it. We spend the majority of our day working in whatever field we choose to do, why not completely love what you do during this time? You just have to find a way to make it work, determination and attitude is everything. Make a plan and just do it.

 

[chocolatchica]

Thanks for your input everyone!!! I would really love to continue to peruse dance but as a single mom I see it as selfish on my part because of the lack of insurance and money. I may see it that way because my family has told me straight out that it is selfish and negligent to do such a thing with my life because is my son. But what would I be teaching my son if I abandon my dream to work a 9-5 job? I know my mother also was a dancer and stopped for us but always talks about how happy dancing made her and how she wishes she kept going it. And as her daughter I would want nothing more than to see my mother happy. Well for now I am selling wedding dresses, saving lives and the economy, going to school, and dancing. Lol. I only have one life and really would love to do things that make me happy but can also support my son and make him happy as well. A lot to consider......

 

[bordertangoman]

Maybe you should sell dance lessons to your wedding customers.

 

[Merrylegs]

learning to play the saxamaphone

Nice one, Homer Simpson!

 

[motardmom]

I only have one life and really would love to do things that make me happy but can also support my son and make him happy as well. A lot to consider......

From one single mom to another....

- You only have one life. True. Do you want to spend it doing something you hate?
- Your son is only with you for a little while. He's going to grow up and do his own thing eventually. Do you want to hate what you are doing after he's gone?
- Your son can be happy regardless of what you are doing/how much money you are making. I agree with your family that it's important to be able to pay your bills, but don't make the mistake of thinking that having money is going to provide happiness.
- You always have time. Dig in, go to school, move forward... I'm disappointed with myself that I'm thirty-something and didn't just do it earlier a little at a time. They say that inside every 80 year old woman is a 19 year old woman wondering what in the hell happened. Inside this thirty-something woman is a 19 year old woman thinking, "Time is going to pass whether I like it or not. I should do something with that time that will make me more productive and allow me more options later." I am all about options.

 

[nucat78]

I have to jump back in on the "do what you love" idea.

Most of my life I've worked for money, not love. Yeah, the stock options and BMWs were nice but if I had it to do over again, I'd go with a career I loved. Money is NOT everything as long as you have enough for a decent place to live and can put food on the table.

Should mom work 9 to 5 at a job she (maybe) tolerates? Or should she do something that makes her life a joy even if it means a few less things for Christmas?

My issue is that I'm 51 so I've got a lot of catching up to do. But better to die in a perhaps hopeless cavalry charge than at home in bed, neh?

 

[Peaches]

IMoney is NOT everything as long as you have enough for a decent place to live and can put food on the table.

I agree, and have gone a few rounds with my f.i.l. over this.

OTOH, what I get caught up in, is where does the obligation end? Which is to say, place to live and food on the table is one thing. But what about insurance (health, life, disability or long term care)? What about retirement? (Especially important for DH and I, as we're not having kids, so no family to fall back on.) What about the fact that, for us, neither his parents nor mine will probably be in a financial position to take care of themselves through retirement...nor will our siblings be in a position to help them out...so that will fall to us?

These are the questions and issues I get caught up in whenever I get sick of the rat race and commute. I'd love to just chuck it all and go work my dream job. Make enough at a simple job to live a simple life and be happier living that way. But when the body gives out, the way it's guaranteed to at some point...what then? When family can't take care of themselves, either physically or financially, what then if we don't have the resources to step in and take care of things?

Meh. My conclusions aren't for everyone. I just know that I need the stability--if not to be happy, then to be sane.