Codigos - which are universal?

[Zoopsia59]

1. Dress appropriately.
2. Remember personal hygiene.
3. The man invites the woman.
4. The man leads, remains in control, and protects his partner.
5. Respect the line of dance.
6. Be aware of others around you.
7. Do not teach on the floor.
8. Apologize to your partner if you step on her foot, and to other dancers if you interrupt their dancing.
9. Escort your partner off the floor.
10. The floor is for dancing, not for conversation.

I'd say that #1 is far too vague.. "Appropriate" is actually is defined by the local codes, not some universal rule. It's hard to know what is considered inappropriate until you've actually been to that particular milonga, and even then I've never seen anyone make a fuss about someone's attire. I wouldn't want to dance with a man who was shirtless and have never seen one at a milonga or practica, but then, I've also never been to a milonga on the beach, so who knows?

#3 is frequently violated around here and no one seems to mind. Of course, traditionally, "the man does the asking" non-verbally. However, the woman may have already been looking at him, in which case, it's rather a toss up who did the "asking". After all, a man can't catch your eye if you don't look at him. If you want to dance with someone, you can't just hope that he'll be looking at you trying to catch your eye at the exact moment yours pass his when yours are darting all over the place.

Some people are trying more and more to use cabeceo, but there are a variety of reasons why it doesn't always work out. (dim light, no tables, far more socializing on the sidelines than would be typical in a BA milonga, and of course, many of us can't see well enough)

Typically around here, men do the asking and do so verbally. However, some women do ask men. I don't, but that's a personal choice, not a prohibition.

#9 is frequently ignored as well, but I'd actually like to see this one followed more.

#7 is also frequently ignored, and frankly, I think there should be actual punishment when this one is violated. Maybe public humiliation would work.

 

[Zoopsia59]

Oops... didn't realize this was an old thread.

 

[opendoor]

10. The floor is for dancing, not for conversation.

Again, there are differences here. In many places in the UK, people dance as soon as a new track has got going. In Argentina, they will wait at least for the first few bars (Ive never been sure whether there is an exact length of time you "should" wait)..

Few bars? Gabbing almost half of a piece

 

[Steve Pastor]

Oops... didn't realize this was an old thread

No problems.

Unfortunately, the article about dancing in Berlin brings back some old, and recent, memories. It always seemed to me that the amount of self absorption of people who dance AT, whom you might otherwise expect to be rather cosmopolitan in their outlook, was excessive.
I refer specifically to running into, kicking, or stepping on other people, and acting as if nothing had happened, let alone apologizing.
But then, maybe "polite" has no place in being cosmopolitan, and I am too unaware to know that.

 

[Steve Pastor]

they will wait at least for the first few bars (Ive never been sure whether there is an exact length of time you "should" wait)

"Exact" is probably not a good way to think about it. It's more like waiting through the introduction and letting the music seep into you.

 

[Steve Pastor]

He hears many little staccato moments in a set of smooth Di Sarlis and singles them out for discreet but unmistakable emphasis, like a man underlining chosen keywords: but carefully, with a light pencil stroke so as not to deface the book.

Maybe I should meet this woman.

 

[piimapoika]

The Swedish sociologist Margareta Westergård wrote "Tango Passion and the Rules of the Game" (ISBN 978-3-939871-09-5) about her experiences in Argentina, with particular attention to the codigos. It appears that the cabaceo is little used outside Buenos Aires. She caused a scandal in Mendoza, breaking an important local rule and causing a distinct cooling of relations with her hosts. She never did discover what the faux pas was, but it might have been dancing with her eyes closed.

 

[bordertangoman]

The Swedish sociologist Margareta Westergård wrote "Tango Passion and the Rules of the Game" (ISBN 978-3-939871-09-5) about her experiences in Argentina, with particular attention to the codigos. It appears that the cabaceo is little used outside Buenos Aires. She caused a scandal in Mendoza, breaking an important local rule and causing a distinct cooling of relations with her hosts. She never did discover what the faux pas was, but it might have been dancing with her eyes closed.

dont you just love these little power games... from now on I'm going to invent a new codigo for each milonga but not tell anyone what it is, but if you break it, you will be asked to leave.......but I wont tell you what it is even then.....

like rock management..

 

[opendoor]

And what about reserved seats

.. at your Milongas? I only know this nuisance from BsAs. But I fear it´s slowly spreading over here, too?

 

[Madahlia]

Reserved seats

.. at your Milongas? I only know this nuisance from BsAs. But I fear it´s slowly spreading over here, too?

I would not wish for the formality of having to book a table as my hope for the evening is to arrive, throw down my bag, change my shoes and spend the rest of the evening either dancing or chatting with friends, making a table place somewhat unnecessary. I also like to feel completely free to turn up or not, according to my mood.

However, I'm an inveterate late-comer at milongas and finding a seat has sometimes been a problem. I have sometimes felt that organisers have been remiss, as I have occasionally seen them continue to dance, ignoring paying customers who are standing around waiting to be seated. In that circumstance a booked seat would have been a solution, but so would a courteous response from the organisers.

It is especially difficult turning up, as a single follower, at milongas where I may not know other people particularly well, so can't just join acquaintances at a table. Ironic really, when apparently I'm supposed to arrive and leave on my own, in order to flag up my availability. (That rule might be fine for BsAs, but is completely unsuitable for the UK, IMO.)

 

[Peaches]

Huh. Waiting to be sat? Not knowing people at a table? I never thought of those things are being particularly problematic. Around here we seat ourselves, change seats with some frequency depending on availability, and if you don't know people at the table you make to sit down, establish eye contact, and say, "Do you mind? Is this seat taken?" as you are in the process of sitting down. Problem solved, no muss, no fuss.

 

[Madahlia]

No muss, no fuss.

As described in paragraph 1 of my post. Glad it always works out for you, though.

Sometimes there is an problem of actual lack of unoccupied chairs. If you're relaxed enough to enter an unfamiliar milonga and plonk yourself down on a chair with someone else's coat marking it out as their territory then I can only envy you. I might do that in order to change my shoes but I would expect some frosty glances if I didn't move on fast. Maybe it's a British thing?

 

[twnkltoz]

Around here, things are much more casual. People use the cabaceo if it's convenient and they "get" how to do it, or they just ask. Although leaders are generally the ones to do the asking, some women do ask...but I am very careful about who I'll ask and when. I don't want the men to feel mobbed as soon as they get their shoes on or walk off the floor, but if they've sat out for a song or if they're new to the area, I might go ask them. If I don't know them or haven't danced with them before, I ask verbally. If I know them, it depends on the situation but if a cabaceo seems appropriate I use it. People sit wherever, and you'd better arrive early if you want your own table, but people do move around and visit at other tables throughout the night (especially all the women who are sitting around). The ones about conversation (except between songs or during cortinas) and teaching on the floor are definitely considered codigos here, although some people are inconsiderate and do it anyway. Although, sometimes conversation on the side of the floor gets way too loud at one venue, just because of the way the seating is clustered together.

 

[Gssh]

As described in paragraph 1 of my post. Glad it always works out for you, though.

Sometimes there is an problem of actual lack of unoccupied chairs. If you're relaxed enough to enter an unfamiliar milonga and plonk yourself down on a chair with someone else's coat marking it out as their territory then I can only envy you. I might do that in order to change my shoes but I would expect some frosty glances if I didn't move on fast. Maybe it's a British thing?

I think it is a very local thing - here there are milongas where people "own" their chair (or in some places even the complete table), and others where they are communal property, and as soon as you vacate the seat it is fair game. Sometimes there are very nasty undercurrents to interactions when people with different attitudes about that meet . In a way this is a great example why having some behavioural guidelines is a good thing - both approaches have their pros and cons, and knowing what the community standard is makes things run smoothly either way.

I think codigos are only a problem when they become detached from facilitating smooth social interactions, and instead are being used for petty power games. But then this is true for almost anything...

Gssh

 

[opendoor]

and do they ensure seats with their togs and if other people use to put their togs above, do they throw your stuff away?