Compromising tandas

[dchester]

aha no, not the ones where you discover that your dress has moved...

I want to know what people think about adjusting their dance to each partner.

everyone has their own little foibles, no one is perfect, people have different styles and are different shapes.

Do any "teachers" point out in their classes that if someone thing always goes wrong with a particular partner, perhaps you shouldn't do it?

It sounds like common sense, but I really hate it when if I can't do something, even though it has already gone horribly wrong, some leaders will keep doing it in the vain hope that i might suddenly up my level of competence in the next 5 minutes.

Often it's me that's the problem, but equally often, the leader has the problem, so why not take responsibility for making it a nice dance and say "ok, my partner can't do this so I won't lead it" it doesn't even need one person to take the blame for the screw up, think of it as "adjusting down" to their level.

Sometimes it is not obvious (to the leader) if the "step that didn't go quite right" was due to the lead not being as good as it should, or the follower not being able to do it.

Most of the time (with me that is), I assume it was due to the lead. This will usually make me try to lead it as clear as I can when I try again. Depending on how that goes, will dictate whether I try again or write it off for this tanda.

 

[Zoopsia59]

I thought that a consensus that "active following" (which seems a little different to my interpretation of it and hence I don't do it anyway) is a bad thing and we shouldn't be doing it had been reached?

I don't think we've ever reached a complete consensus on ANYTHING.

 

[Zoopsia59]

It is possible to have a "share the lead" dance. I know, because I tried this out on Friday with a fellow leader, and we achieved it. I also did it in a class at Mango last year - although only once out of maybe 8-9 partners. Again, that only worked with an experienced leader..

Did you actively share the lead consistently through the whole dance or was it alternating lead and follow where who is leading and who is following is very defined at any given moment even though you switch from time to time? (Daniel Trenner and Rebecca Shulman used to do this and also give workshops in it)

 

[Zoopsia59]

Sometimes it is not obvious (to the leader) if the "step that didn't go quite right" was due to the lead not being as good as it should, or the follower not being able to do it.

Most of the time (with me that is), I assume it was due to the lead. This will usually make me try to lead it as clear as I can when I try again. Depending on how that goes, will dictate whether I try again or write it off for this tanda.

Does it really matter whether it is the lead not being good enough or the follower not being up to it? If you try to lead something several times and it fails each time, let it go no matter whose "fault" it is. No one wants to dance a tanda of missteps and failures and struggles.

If you're at a practica, you should be able to stop and work on it together, but at a social dance, even if the leader thinks its his own fault, he should drop it until he's gotten better at it and not be tryinig to work out the problem on the dance floor during a social tanda.

And if he thinks its the follower, he DEFINITELY should drop it. Followers hate it when a leader hammers a move over and over til she gets it... its like saying "I won't accept you as a partner until you can do my favorite move... otherwise, I'm just unhappy dancing with you til we get this... you HAVE to get this, you hear me?!"

DC has the right idea... if no improvement on the 2nd try, drop it. (the exception would be if the followers say "Oh, I almost had it... I think I get it now.. try it again" (which is a conversation really also more suited to a practice)

 

[Dave Bailey]

Did you actively share the lead consistently through the whole dance

Yes.

or was it alternating lead and follow where who is leading and who is following is very defined at any given moment even though you switch from time to time?

No.

Frankly, switching lead is relatively straightforward; it's just a question of picking the right time to switch. And that's how most people in the tango mango workshop did it also, for that matter.

Sharing the lead, however - much more difficult. You need to both "listen" and "speak", continuously and simultaneously.

 

[Zoopsia59]

Sharing the lead, however - much more difficult. You need to both "listen" and "speak", continuously and simultaneously.

I thought that was what you meant but I wanted to be sure.

Yes, it does sound very hard. I would thnk the two leaders would also have to have reasonable follower experience though, right? After all, as you say, you are listening as well. Not that leaders aren't always required to listen, but the listening requirement is even more vital for a follower, and therefore probably a skill developed more?