Constant criticism from male leads

[David_In_CA]

still have lots of routines to learn.

This strikes me as really odd. Anyone here doing salsa? I wouldn't expect routines to be a major part of it.

 

[Paja]

Hi Alora, you wrote you age, sexiness and attractiveness is not on your side. You should work on this. You cannot change your age and sometimes it is real problem. To improve sexiness and attractiveness is often underestimated, followers just believe all is about dancing. But try to check a tango milonga event on youtube - ladies dress, haistyle, makeup, parfume, shoes, all under control, regardless age and weight. When I visit Latino party, sometimes I am not sure if ladies are going to gym or to dance. And openly saying , dance with very overweighted followers is often not a pleasure. All this you can influence. What you cannot influence is way of party in your club. My school is rotating on lessons, when we have party, is natural to change partners after two or three dances. I am from Tango comunity, I respect the rule to dance with EVERY follower if possible. Next advice, you should look for dance partner and visit lessons and parties with him. Is natural if he is dancing with follower from another pair, leader sooner or later will ask you to dance.
And finally, continue to visit lessons as follower. If dancing with you will be pure pleasure for leaders, you never will be the last follower waiting.

 

[noobster]

The problem is there is only 4 male leads and two teachers who lead and the rest of the students are all female.

What kind of scene is this where there are only 4 leaders? It sounds like it would be really hard to develop your dancing and honestly not very fun.

Responsive and accurate following is best developed by exposure to a wide variety of leaders. Is there any nearby city with regular salsa events that draw at least 20-40 dancers at a time?

If you can't find a scene at least that large I would find a dance style that is more popular in your area. It's no fun to dance with the same four leaders all the time.

Regarding feedback from leaders, yeah yeah, they all want to give instructions. Dancefloor feedback is usually worth what you paid for it, but occasionally you do get someone whose input is useful. It's not always easy to tell which bits are useful, but if you dance with a lot of different leaders you can start to sort out the advice that conflicts (to be discarded) from advice that seems consistent across different leaders (to be considered).

When you get dancefloor feedback, just nod and smile and try to implement whatever they told you long enough to get through that dance. Later you can think about whether that feedback seemed like it could be useful for the future or was just bad advice from someone who leads with his mouth.

 

[itwillhappen]

Anyway, the sexy lady who steals all the leads has been fascinating to watch!

Steals or gets?

I was watching her dance with another man a while ago and my ‘skeletal‘ eye focussed and I just saw two men dancing together. Then it clicked - this lovely, sexy lady is a man dressed as a woman.

Are you aware that there are many combinations and gradations in terms of genes, hormones, internal and external sex characteristics, physique, socialization? At the end of the day, sexy is sexy - with a percentage of masculinity or not.

 

[DanceMentor]

Happy New Year

I‘m just giving you an update. I spoke to my teachers about learning to lead one day but i was told it was too soon for me. They explained that I’m an improver and still have lots of routines to learn. I accepted their decision but It doesn’t help with my (very real) need to practice with a partner though. Perhaps I’m overthinking things but I feel that I’m not going to progress, despite going to classes three times per week. I do go home and practice but it’s lonely on my own. The teachers know I want learn more and give me lots new moves to work on at home.

im searching other clubs that I can go for social dances to but I do feel very sad as I’m so happy with this club. It’s just there’s not many leads to dance with at their dances.

There is an intermediate class that this club runs which two of the male leads go to and get intense tuition from the teachers. There are some other couples who go too who pretty advanced. My goal is to join this class because there is more of chance to learn more and practice with some one regularly.

what do I need to do to get into the intermediate class and how long does it take to go from improver to intermediate?

Well, the great thing about life is you can continue to reinvent yourself and get better and better. Sometimes you're just waiting for the next clue and it sends you in a wonderful direction. On the one hand, you need to set some boundaries when it comes to people criticizing you, but also it can be good to listen to their feedback and see what you can do about it too. Most important be patient with yourself and try to enjoy the journey.

 

[Simonsays]

Try another club/social event.

Try other classes.

Meet other people.

Make some connections with people. When you do that it makes the dancing more enjoyable. Best of luck!