Corp speak

[j_alexandra]

agreeance
kill me now

 

[Purr]

And I thought my employer in general had the market share on bad speak.

 

[Xelebes]

To need to either push ourselves in front or we need to pause and put an ask on the coxswain on the fly. Love is still a goose-egg.

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

I received another junk email, but it made me think of this thread, so I pasted it here before consigning it to my Junk folder:

We strongly believe that an accurate estimate acts as a primary tool in setting the budget and controlling cost throughout the lifecycle of the project. Once our trade-specific estimators complete the quantity takeoff, the lead estimator ensures that the estimate is up to the standard and complies with the project goals.​

​

Just send over the set of plans so we will give you a quote on that. Thanks.​

 

[j_alexandra]

what the actual is a quantity takeoff?

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

what the actual is a quantity takeoff?

When there are a LOT of airplanes leaving the runway.

 

[raindance]

what the actual is a quantity takeoff?

A phrase created by a bot, perhaps?? I don't think every spam email is composed by a human.

 

[Misspendragon]

This is good…very good…I like the way we’re dimensioning this. Always better to think outside the box than aim for low-hanging fruit. Let’s dialogue further to make sure we’ll get a return on our investment.

Dialogue further??? I'm dying. This is hilarious .

 

[Misspendragon]

Can we outreach to some potential thought partners? We need to be cognizant of the danger of being in an echo chamber and may need some drivers to help us think outside of the box.

Thought partners??? This is too much .

 

[Misspendragon]

I received another junk email, but it made me think of this thread, so I pasted it here before consigning it to my Junk folder:

We strongly believe that an accurate estimate acts as a primary tool in setting the budget and controlling cost throughout the lifecycle of the project. Once our trade-specific estimators complete the quantity takeoff, the lead estimator ensures that the estimate is up to the standard and complies with the project goals.​

​

Just send over the set of plans so we will give you a quote on that. Thanks.​

There is now way I could listen to this all day. Poor, poor you.

 

[Cal]

I just completed a thoroughly incomprehensible online training module on cyber-security. It's a workplace requirement. This module focused on mobile device security.

The words "defined migration strategy" were used. I *think* it means that if you get a new cell phone you need to be careful when you transfer information from your old phone to the new one.

But, I could be wrong. It could mean that migrating wildebeests and geese are much smarter than humans.

 

[DanceMentor]

We strategized the migration product definables in the procurement push, but we punted that. Do we need to bring in a SWAT team?

 

[ChaCha1]

We strategized the migration product definables in the procurement push, but we punted that. Do we need to bring in a SWAT team?

Oh, they are tiger teams in my organization. Because we have to harmonize the new product deliverable.

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

Just got off a zoom meeting in which the presenter said, among other things, "the equipment will be able to leverage your system," "we can set this feature up for you if you have an appetite for that," and "our implementation team will present value at the meeting."

 

[j_alexandra]

ooooo I wanna present value!
what does that even mean?