Could you be happy without dance?
- Thread starter pygmalion
- Start date
DWise1
Well-Known Member
Response: Other, please comment.
Dancing is not my life. My marriage and family are my life.
I started dancing in order to please my wife, even though it was my suggestion. Actually, I overheard her tell a friend that she had always wanted to learn Salsa, so I mentioned Salsa classes being offered after work if she'd be interested. Part of my thinking was that it would give us something to do together. So I started and survived a series of intermediate Salsa classes (my first dance classes, period) for somebody else's sake.
But now I'm in dancing for myself. I know that the social interaction in dance is helping to keep me going despite the damage I've been taking in both areas of my life. And I think that the intellectual exercise and challenge of learning these new skills that are very different from what I 've studied before (even though I have drawn from my Aikido training from decades ago), help to focus my attention to much more positive things than I otherwise would. Besides, I've always loved music and dancing gives me a whole new dimension in which to appreciate and love music.
So dancing is not my life, I'm in it for myself, and I'm not about to give it up.
PS
Just adding this after being able to read the questions again:
If I were to give up dancing, I couldn't now have these bits of happiness.
And I feel certain that whatever future happiness I can find I will find because of or through dancing.
Dancing is not my life. My marriage and family are my life.
I started dancing in order to please my wife, even though it was my suggestion. Actually, I overheard her tell a friend that she had always wanted to learn Salsa, so I mentioned Salsa classes being offered after work if she'd be interested. Part of my thinking was that it would give us something to do together. So I started and survived a series of intermediate Salsa classes (my first dance classes, period) for somebody else's sake.
But now I'm in dancing for myself. I know that the social interaction in dance is helping to keep me going despite the damage I've been taking in both areas of my life. And I think that the intellectual exercise and challenge of learning these new skills that are very different from what I 've studied before (even though I have drawn from my Aikido training from decades ago), help to focus my attention to much more positive things than I otherwise would. Besides, I've always loved music and dancing gives me a whole new dimension in which to appreciate and love music.
So dancing is not my life, I'm in it for myself, and I'm not about to give it up.
PS
Just adding this after being able to read the questions again:
If I were to give up dancing, I couldn't now have these bits of happiness.
And I feel certain that whatever future happiness I can find I will find because of or through dancing.
Dance is the second or third most important thing in my life. It certainly provides much happiness and enjoyment in my life, but also is the source for a lot of frustration on the relationship standpoint (but I think we've hashed that out already). Would I be happy without dancing, I'm sure that I could be, but it's just part of an overall perspective I have.
Sagitta
Well-Known Member
It is an interesting question. What is dance in my life? Caould I be happy without dance? Hmmm....at one time I would say I could even live without it, but now? Dance has truly opened a new world for me. Dance has brought me the opportunity to interact with the good and bad, the old, the ugly, the fat - the skinny of life. It has truly opened my eyes to the fears and anxieties that we all have, the need to feel cared for and appreciated. The comfort of friendly touching without the nonsense that comes with dating. The inherent goodness in even those whom we detest, the stories we make about the facts that color our lives. The need to make others feel safe to tell their stories. And once we feel safe make new ones as we dance.
So dance is not just dancing for me. It is part of the social fabric that I have woven through my life. Without dance gaps would be ripped through this social web. So, no, I could not be truly happy without dance. I realize that I have said nothing about dance as exercise, dance as a means of reaching nirvana. That is all there, but ulitimately I view dance as communication and relationships, dancing and while not dancing. Would you cut off family and friends? I wouldn't and so I would not be able to be truly happy without dance. A piece of my soul would be missing, like the passing way of a loved one. I'm sure that time would make it easier, but somehow those things never ever completely go away, do they?
I've reached a new stage in dance, a maturity, a realization. A vision!! I'm truly one with dance.
So dance is not just dancing for me. It is part of the social fabric that I have woven through my life. Without dance gaps would be ripped through this social web. So, no, I could not be truly happy without dance. I realize that I have said nothing about dance as exercise, dance as a means of reaching nirvana. That is all there, but ulitimately I view dance as communication and relationships, dancing and while not dancing. Would you cut off family and friends? I wouldn't and so I would not be able to be truly happy without dance. A piece of my soul would be missing, like the passing way of a loved one. I'm sure that time would make it easier, but somehow those things never ever completely go away, do they?
I've reached a new stage in dance, a maturity, a realization. A vision!! I'm truly one with dance.
MacMoto
Active Member
I'd hesitate to say that dance is my life, but no, I don't think I could be happy without dance. There are certainly other things in my life, but dance is at the core of my social life. With my family pretty much out of reach, all the support I'm relying on in going through my breakup comes from my dance friends. I'd feel totally isolated and alone without it.
Dance is also an important aspect of my spiritual welbeing. I'm not religious and Christians among us may be offended by my view, but I think dance gives me what religious people would get from their faith. When I'm lost, dance helps me find myself again. It works on the fundamental core of myself and enables me to discover what I am, good and bad. It heals me, balances me and restores my confidence in me. It teaches me that I am not alone. It teaches me to live and enjoy my life.
My ex finds the importance I place on dance rather unhealthy and disturbing. Maybe he has a point, I don't know, but I do know I'd be a very unhappy person without dance right now and am grateful that I have it.
Dance is also an important aspect of my spiritual welbeing. I'm not religious and Christians among us may be offended by my view, but I think dance gives me what religious people would get from their faith. When I'm lost, dance helps me find myself again. It works on the fundamental core of myself and enables me to discover what I am, good and bad. It heals me, balances me and restores my confidence in me. It teaches me that I am not alone. It teaches me to live and enjoy my life.
My ex finds the importance I place on dance rather unhealthy and disturbing. Maybe he has a point, I don't know, but I do know I'd be a very unhappy person without dance right now and am grateful that I have it.
MacMoto,
I understand. Pretty well, I think. I had a conversation with my ex about this yesterday, believe it or not. He, as usual, was going on and on about why dancing is so important to me. My counter? Why is it so important to you that I give up one the few things in my life that gives me pure joy? Yes, there are other joyful things in my life, but dance is definitely a central one. I, for one, refuse to use someone else's standards to define what SHOULD make me happy.
There have been times in the past where dance DID take on too large a role in my life, I think. Things got out of balance, for reasons that I think are understandable. But they were out of balance, and when I realized that, I fixed it, without needing anyone to tell me or pressure me to do so.
I understand. Pretty well, I think. I had a conversation with my ex about this yesterday, believe it or not. He, as usual, was going on and on about why dancing is so important to me. My counter? Why is it so important to you that I give up one the few things in my life that gives me pure joy? Yes, there are other joyful things in my life, but dance is definitely a central one. I, for one, refuse to use someone else's standards to define what SHOULD make me happy.
There have been times in the past where dance DID take on too large a role in my life, I think. Things got out of balance, for reasons that I think are understandable. But they were out of balance, and when I realized that, I fixed it, without needing anyone to tell me or pressure me to do so.
Sagitta
Well-Known Member
MacMoto said:
MacMoto. I'm a Christian, a Roman Catholic, and what I think people consider a devout one, though I personally find myself lacking. How each one of us finds the stablilizing influence, the rock of their lives, is up to that individual. Any true Christian wouldn't judge, or that's my opinion. Nuff' said. I don't want to necessarily start a religious thread going. But, just thought you should know that a honest, well-thought out, and respectful opinion should be simply be considered such.
No, I could not be happy without dancing! It is the thing that keeps me going when I'm down! Yes, I could live without dancing, but I wouldn't call that living, I'd call it surviving... I'd lived without dancing for 3 months... and it was pure hell! Even though I was living my life... I lacked something of utmost value!
No I could not be happy without dancing!
No I could not be happy without dancing!
virginiadancegirl
New Member
This is an interesting question for me....
I did live without dancing for 6 years...and, dare I say, didn't "miss" it in the way one would think. I thought about how much fun it "used to be" once in a while, but never with the longing and aching in my soul I would have thought.
I started dancing again with my current partner 8 monts ago. I am teaching some, performing some, and generally having a good time with it at this point in my life. It has become a major issue with my husband, as he seems to think it is taking over my life...arguing that I have no time for him, my daughter, or other household responsibilities... but I will not give it up....
So for me, I guess the answer is no...I would never CHOOSE to live without my dancing....nor do I think anyone should have to......
I did live without dancing for 6 years...and, dare I say, didn't "miss" it in the way one would think. I thought about how much fun it "used to be" once in a while, but never with the longing and aching in my soul I would have thought.
I started dancing again with my current partner 8 monts ago. I am teaching some, performing some, and generally having a good time with it at this point in my life. It has become a major issue with my husband, as he seems to think it is taking over my life...arguing that I have no time for him, my daughter, or other household responsibilities... but I will not give it up....
So for me, I guess the answer is no...I would never CHOOSE to live without my dancing....nor do I think anyone should have to......
Genesius Redux
New Member
Response: I beg your pardon....