Dance Instructor Leeway

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Meh- yea dance instructors have more leeway, so do doctors, nurses, massage therapists- it never caused me any angst- I got used to my first pro touching my face, hips, rib cage etc. maybe because I do the same to people in my line of work, it's not an issue. Having said that, I can see why some may be uncomfortable- allowing another person access to your body could be intimidating and crossing a boundary, except, in some lines of work, it's obvious and shouldn't require a second thought..
 
Decide what boundaries make you comfortable, communicate them, and work with an instructor who respects them. You may find that your boundaries change over time; and so for that matter may your instructor compatibility.
 
My first lesson, my pro talked in advance about it. Since I was coming from skating, and even before that I was used to riding instructor manipulating my legs without asking, I basically laughed it off. It's just part of the deal.
 
danceronice said:
My first lesson, my pro talked in advance about it. Since I was coming from skating, and even before that I was used to riding instructor manipulating my legs without asking, I basically laughed it off. It's just part of the deal.
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And get told to, "hold that position," for always seemingly far too long whilst they admire their work.
 
I tell people that one side effect of partner dancing is that you completely lose all notion of personal space. I actually have to be a bit careful at work that I don't get closer to someone than most people are comfortable with. When I started, our (female) pro was really good at putting us at ease, and so it only took me a few times of having her put my hand on the front of her hip bone to pay attention to what she wanted me to feel happening, and not on where my hand was. :D Currently I have a male pro, and we put our hands on each other without thinking about it.
 
cornutt said:
I tell people that one side effect of partner dancing is that you completely lose all notion of personal space. I actually have to be a bit careful at work that I don't get closer to someone than most people are comfortable with. When I started, our (female) pro was really good at putting us at ease, and so it only took me a few times of having her put my hand on the front of her hip bone to pay attention to what she wanted me to feel happening, and not on where my hand was. :D Currently I have a male pro, and we put our hands on each other without thinking about it.
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I remember the first time, my female instructor was pretty hesitant and maybe she might have asked the first time, I can't remember. The second time, definitely not. Now she doesn't even bother and since my shirt is tucked in sometimes, she just puts her hands in my pants to feel/move my hip lol.
 
I still feel a tad awkward when my hands are on my teacher's hips, leg, whatever, until he moves and then I'm so taken by what he's demonstrating that I forget about being awkward. More than once I have asked if one of the New Guys could feel something as well. :)
 
Newdancer81 said:
Now she doesn't even bother and since my shirt is tucked in sometimes, she just puts her hands in my pants to feel/move my hip lol.
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That is a bit bold... especially with how men's practice pants are it's certainly not needed. I've had my hands on my pro's pants/hips many times, and I think his wife would kill me if I actually were go IN his pants. That's a line to not be crossed, and I'm perfectly fine with.

Are you wear jeans or some other material you can't feel well enough through?
 
MaggieMoves said:
That is a bit bold... especially with how men's practice pants are it's certainly not needed. I've had my hands on my pro's pants/hips many times, and I think his wife would kill me if I actually were go IN his pants. That's a line to not be crossed, and I'm perfectly fine with.

Are you wear jeans or some other material you can't feel well enough through?
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Yeah, I usually wear khaki's or jeans or shorts. She's only done it a few times and I think the thing is, my normal day-to-day pants are too big for me now. I've lost like 35 lbs in the past two years but I'm too lazy to buy new pants.
 
I also thought this (hands-in-pants) was strange. I never heard that one before, on or off DF. I'm hard-pressed even to imagine a reason why it would be useful, let alone necessary.

Congratulations on the weight loss. Maybe wear a belt?
 
DL said:
I also thought this (hands-in-pants) was strange. I never heard that one before, on or off DF. I'm hard-pressed even to imagine a reason why it would be useful, let alone necessary.

Congratulations on the weight loss. Maybe wear a belt?
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Well let me clarify a bit. It might have been because my pants were too big (I was wearing a belt) and she placed her hands just slightly below my hip. So it's not like she purposely did it...i think it was just a coincidence.
 
Wear sweatpants or dance pants then. Avoids that problem entirely.

Dancing in jeans makes me sweat just thinking about it... But I've done it in the past.
 
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