dance partner harder than real-life partner

[waltzguy]

I've heard many times that a dance partnership is more difficult than a real-life partnership (eg. SO, spouse). Why?

In both cases, there will be conflict, sooner or later.

In both cases, height match is a criteria, although I can understand that height match is perhaps more important in dancing.

Yes, there's the necessary knowledge of dance, and the fact that there's less dancers versus people that want a soul-mate. But still, there's a greater spectrum of issues to deal with in real-life partners.

In fact, I would argue that dance partnerships are openly talked about, like tryouts, etc. This theoretically should make it easier for DPs to form. When was the last time you met someone and agreed to a SO tryout? (Perhaps this question is best left unanswered.)

What are the reasons?

 

[elisedance]

I think its summed up in one word: choice. There are almost an infiniite number of the other sex to choose from for a life partner but how many do you know at a comparable level to 'choose' from for dancing?

Wanna make it even harder? "Lead dance partner" (except in shangrila - hi cornut!!).

 

[waltzguy]

Wanna make it even harder? "Lead dance partner" (except in shangrila - hi cornut!!).

Good point. As a guy, we have the benefit of greater choice of ladies, 99% of the time anyways.

 

[fascination]

I've heard many times that a dance partnership is more difficult than a real-life partnership (eg. SO, spouse). Why?

In both cases, there will be conflict, sooner or later.

In both cases, height match is a criteria, although I can understand that height match is perhaps more important in dancing.

Yes, there's the necessary knowledge of dance, and the fact that there's less dancers versus people that want a soul-mate. But still, there's a greater spectrum of issues to deal with in real-life partners.

In fact, I would argue that dance partnerships are openly talked about, like tryouts, etc. This theoretically should make it easier for DPs to form. When was the last time you met someone and agreed to a SO tryout? (Perhaps this question is best left unanswered.)

What are the reasons?

well...um...my first and honest thought on this is that when dh and I fight, sometimes the chasm that we cannot cross verbally can be overcome by...umm..:kissme:...many things have been worked out that way...touch soothes the savage beast....can't exactly to that in a dance partnership...well...you can but it isn't the best idea...and it is coupled with so many other complexities...shrug...I am just so glad to now be in a situation that works and is only about getting better

 

[Yuan Ren]

Really? I have never felt so...

Good point. As a guy, we have the benefit of greater choice of ladies, 99% of the time anyways.

 

[elisedance]

Really? I have never felt so...

Oh! [mental note: add NY to the list of possible moves... ]

 

[chica latina]

It's easy to tolerate those things that can annoy you when it's from someone you love... dance partners may not be as honest with each other about how they feel and bothers them...

Just an opinion, since I only danced with a friend for 1-2 years. In the other hand, when in conflict it can be very difficult to separate dancing relationship with personal.. They both have its pros and cons... but I'm happy to be able to share my passion for dancing with my SO

 

[elisedance]

I wonder if many aren't MORE honest with their dance partner....

 

[nucat78]

DP - predominantly one-dimensional. One thing (dance) goes bad and *poof*.
LP - (hopefully) multidimensional with a heavy emotional investment. One thing goes bad, there are many things you (hopefully) agree on that still bind you together.

Uhhhh...uh oh... just had an epiphany of sorts. Dang!

 

[waltzguy]

Really? I have never felt so...

Well, for example, at a social dance or a group class. Typically women outnumber men. Is this not the case where you are located?

 

[BlueBambue]

When was the last time you met someone and agreed to a SO tryout? (Perhaps this question is best left unanswered.)

Actually, this happens all the time. They just call them dates :tongue:

 

[BM]

Actually, this happens all the time. They just call them dates :tongue:

Bravo. :applause:

 

[elisedance]

DP - predominantly one-dimensional. One thing (dance) goes bad and *poof*.
LP - (hopefully) multidimensional with a heavy emotional investment. One thing goes bad, there are many things you (hopefully) agree on that still bind you together.

Uhhhh...uh oh... just had an epiphany of sorts. Dang!

I agree entirely, except I would reverse them! With LPs when something goes bad you can't get away from it (or each other) so they tend to fester. With DPs you have regular Time Outs during which you get to think about the consequences of a split.

 

[Standarddancer]

Actually, this happens all the time. They just call them dates :tongue:

or casual dates, but you can't really have "casual" try outs (assuming you are serious about dancing). Some dancers prefer to have a trial period with a new partner for a while but if you tell the date you want to have a "trial period" for a relationship, guess the date will mostly like to be pissed off and walk away. In this case, dance partnership is much more negotiable than real life dates.

 

[nucat78]

With DPs you have regular Time Outs during which you get to think about the consequences of a split.

Ah! So absence DOES make the heart grow fonder!