Dancing with Confidence

[ShyDancer]

I was told by a friend the other day that I need to dance with confidence. He has been (Ballroom) dancing since he was like 6 or something..well before I was born so I feel like he knows what he is talking about

Do you jump out on the floor and think to yourself "I own this dance, Im the best, everyone looks bad next to me" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ok thats a little silly But I figure you need to have a lot of mental preparation before you can dance with complete confidence.

Im confident in my steps and such...just not throwing myself completely into a dance. I havent quite mastered giving in to the music yet....I kind of feel like I will be out of control if I do that.

Is there a perfect balance somewhere?

 

[Sagitta]

I don't think it is the question of going out and saying I'm the best. To me it is about the music. If I really like the song I'm going to dance a lot better then if the song is good, or okay, or just bearable. I got into dancing to be able to respond to how the music speaks to me with a partner. If I'm unable to respond well to the music as it does not speak to me I won't dance well. It doesn't matter how well I know the dance.

Let's take merengue or bachata. Two dances I find really easy. If a merengue song is just about the pulsing beat / bass I don't do much, but if it is a good song, I'm sudenly going crazy.

I am a control freak so I know it is kind of scary giving in to the music and your partner, but I say that it the only way. Even if your are technically excellent / fabulous there will always be something sterile / missing from your dancing if you don't become one with teh muisc and your partner. A threesome in one. Ooh...this remind me of something that I copied and adapted from somewhere else...got to find it..

 

[Sagitta]

Dance partners are truly united only by a possession of a secret. This secret is their relationship, their love. The how and why of this love will never be uncovered. It is an incommunicable secret and fullness which they communicate.

What they give and communicate to one another is the depth of their being. This sharing makes a communion that no "other being" sharing can observe. This gift is the sharing of what each one has that is beaustiful, true, and luminous.

Adapted from some source a long while back...the point to me is only by being open can one really dance.

 

[Pacion]

Another pearl, my former ballroom/latin teacher used to say, "if you are going to go wrong, go strong".

In other words, if you are not sure of what you doing/should be doing, be "strong" about it because it comes across in your body language/movement ie. slumped shoulders, more tension in the body etc. and overall, smile, if it is appropriate. (in tango, you don't smile as much as say salsa or even the jive)

 

[Genesius Redux]

For me, unless I'm working specifically on technique, I refuse to worry about whether I'm correct or not. That's what practice is for, to develop the muscle memory. And you develop the muscle memory so that you can go out on the floor and dance.

Sagitta put it all so well I wouldn't presume to say more. Yes. 8)

 

[tsb]

i have a friend who's an actor (got a recurring role on a few TV shows & has done a number of commercials) and it was hysterical to watch him go dancing after only a few salsa lessons - he had no idea of how to lead anything, but his bearing & apparent confidence level "why aren't you doing what i led?" made all of his partners look like they didn't know how to dance.

he had confidence out the wazoo but he was no fun as a partner. unless you're competing i'd suggest that it's more helpful to take steps so that your partner (and others watching) can tell from your body language & facial expression that you're having a good time. when your partner responds to that - and they will - i think people will notice & enjoy watching you - and you'll probably look more confident to boot!

 

[voilsb]

Do you jump out on the floor and think to yourself "I own this dance, Im the best, everyone looks bad next to me"

Kinda. When I ask someone to dance or get asked to dance, I come with the attitude that "I'm going to have fun no matter what, and if he/she doesn't, it's his/her own fault."

Granted, I also do what I can do make the dance fun for my partner, but I refuse to let a "poor" dance be an un-fun one.

Also, I just go out and dance. When leading, I think about two or three beats ahead in the music, at most. I just do whatever it feels like the music moves me to do. When following, I don't even do that, I just hang on and do whatever it feels like I'm getting through the connection and add a bit of styling/play/whatever if/when I'm moved to.

And smile. A lot.

 

[Sagitta]

Do you jump out on the floor and think to yourself "I own this dance, Im the best, everyone looks bad next to me"

Kinda. When I ask someone to dance or get asked to dance, I come with the attitude that "I'm going to have fun no matter what, and if he/she doesn't, it's his/her own fault."

Granted, I also do what I can do make the dance fun for my partner, but I refuse to let a "poor" dance be an un-fun one.

Also, I just go out and dance. When leading, I think about two or three beats ahead in the music, at most. I just do whatever it feels like the music moves me to do. When following, I don't even do that, I just hang on and do whatever it feels like I'm getting through the connection and add a bit of styling/play/whatever if/when I'm moved to.

And smile. A lot.

Kinda, but not really. What you do is quite a bit different from what the "Joe Sloe" did, IMO.

 

[MacMoto]

Do you jump out on the floor and think to yourself "I own this dance, Im the best, everyone looks bad next to me" :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ok thats a little silly But I figure you need to have a lot of mental preparation before you can dance with complete confidence.

Im confident in my steps and such...just not throwing myself completely into a dance. I havent quite mastered giving in to the music yet....I kind of feel like I will be out of control if I do that.

Don't worry about control -- let the music and the leader control the dance and just go with the flow. As others have said, confidence doesn't have to be about your ability to do the steps perfectly or being the best on the floor. Take the floor confident that you are going to be part of the music, be with your partner 100% and really enjoy the dance. If you give in to the music and get your steps wrong as a result, not a big deal. Your friend must have told you to be confident because he thought there was no reason why you shouldn't... Remember that when you dance. You already have the necessary technique; what you need is to show that you enjoy dancing. Makes such a difference to the look of the dance.

i have a friend who's an actor (got a recurring role on a few TV shows & has done a number of commercials) and it was hysterical to watch him go dancing after only a few salsa lessons - he had no idea of how to lead anything, but his bearing & apparent confidence level "why aren't you doing what i led?" made all of his partners look like they didn't know how to dance.

:lol: :lol:
I think I'm a bit like that, actually -- looking more confident than I probably should. Beginners keep mistaking me for someone who is very good. They don't know enough to notice my technical shortcomings; they just see how happy and unworried I look on the dancefloor and assume I must be good to look like that.
(Not that I'm content with that, but technical perfection can come later! :lol

 

[dr daffy]

i gotta admit, i have the whole "i am the best dancer" confidence. i've tried out for many dancing parts and the thing that kept me going through each and every tryout was me telling myself "i am the best out there... no one can beat me." it's a kind of confidence that isn't really snobby because i only say it to myself and it keeps me going and dancing the best that i possibly can.

of course, i realize that i may not be the best out there but to me, it's important to have that kind of confidence and attitude. it keeps the smile on my face every time i dance.

 

[voilsb]

Kinda, but not really. What you do is quite a bit different from what the "Joe Sloe" did, IMO.

I'm not sure who "Joe Sloe" is, so I have no idea if what I do is anything at all like what he does.

However, what I do is kinda like what I quoted previously, "I own this dance. I'm the best. Everyone looks bad next to me." Yes, it would be more accurate to describe the mindset I use as "I own this dance. I'm the best I've ever been. I don't look bad next to any of these other dancers," but that's still kinda like the previous one.