Dancing With the "Enemy"

[suburbaknght]

So in my city there are two ballroom competition teams, let's call them Team A and Team B. For reasons that have only been partially explained to me by one person from Team A, there is a strong dislike between the coaches. In my personal experience, the coach and members of Team B tend to have a stronger taste for Team A.

Last summer I took a summer session with Team A. I enjoyed it, was looking to start competition training, and would have liked to join Team A, but the only lindy hop classes in the city were the same time slot as their beginning class, so I joined Team B instead. Now summer's coming around again, the lindy class goes into hiatus for the summer, and they've got an incredibly exciting summer program that I want to do. I've e-mailed Team A's coach and its e-mail contact and they're okay with my taking the class, but one of the team members recommended that I check with my coach (head of Team B) just to let him know.

My thoughts are it's none of my coach's business. He knows I take lessons at other studios (lindy hop, flamenco, salsa, and an international class with a third coach) and is okay with that so the only difference here is that it's with the "enemy" team. I don't care about politics and just want to dance. I have friends on both teams. While Team A's coach certainly has the right to decide if he wants to teach someone from a rival team and the team members have the right to decide if they're comfortable dancing with such a person, I don't see how my coach has a say in this.

Should I tell my coach? Other thoughts and opinions.

 

[BM]

Ugh, politics always drive me crazy, especially studio politics (possibly because I follow those somewhat ). I'm sorry if you mentioned this in your post but I didn't catch it, but did Team A offer something that Team B didn't? I occasionally stray from my "home" studio because it's very specialised in what it teaches. I'm a 19-dancer, but my home studio really only covers a portion of those dances for me. Thus, my coach(es) is(are) a touch more understanding when I go elsewhere because they know I am not substituting my home studio; rather, I am complementing it.

I think it should be up to you if you feel like telling Coach B about previous Team A associations. I don't know if I've worked with coaches that have hated each other, but I have worked with coaches that disagree with each other. Usually they don't hold anything against me (at least I don't think they do). As a matter of fact, they are often quite respectful. Will it benefit you at all to tell Coach B about Team A at all, or will it just make your life more difficult?

Good luck!

 

[Peaches]

I don't see as how it's any of their business. Take from whoever you want, or need to take from. Let them deal with it. (Granted, how they deal with it could impact you. That's a chance you take.) It's your call if you tell one about the other.

I take from two different teachers. They each know about the other. I get some raised eyebrows, but no comments. They each have their strengths, and have different concentrations, which is why I do it. One concentrates on social dancing, especially, but is/was a competitive rhythm dancer. The other I go to for AT and standard. They can deal, and they do.

 

[Dave Bailey]

Should I tell my coach? Other thoughts and opinions.

Hell no - it's none of his business who you take lessons with, is it?

I think it's good general technique to try as many different teachers as you can, until you find one you are comfortable with - I'm still looking for my muse in AT - and even then, it's always good to try new teachers occasionally I think.

You're paying your coach, it's your time and money, you should be able to spend it any way you want.

 

[anp73ga31]

I would think it would be better for you to tell him, rather than for someone else to say something to him about it and him think you are doing something behind his back.

 

[Jiver]

Looks like the consensus is to do what you feel is best for you and in your own interest. I think that is exactly what you should do... what is best for you.

I would limit my contact with any Coach who gives you negative feedback about another Coach or even another student. I am a strong believer that the Dance World should support all its members, whether they be students or Coaches. It saddens me to see a "I am better than thou" attitude! Especially among Coaches!

Whether one is at a dance, studio or at a competition, the activity of socializing and dancing should be fun and enjoyable, yes?

 

[suburbaknght]

I don't want to get into details or disparage either team or coach, for politeness' sake, because many of them are my friends, and because I know at least two read these forums, but in short I find I enjoy my time with Team A more and it helps my social dancing, while Team B does wonders for my technique.

Part of the reason I want to do the summer session is to spend more time with my social dance friends (only two of the team members on Team B come to social dances with any regularity) but also because three of the four dances they're covering are amongst my favorites (paso, American waltz, and hustle), and the fourth is one I haven't had a chance to learn yet (American rumba).

Based on the consensus I don't imagine I'll go out of my way to tell my coach but neither will I attempt to hide it from him or the team. If anyone makes an issue of it, my response will be, "I just want to dance."

 

[Dave Bailey]

I would think it would be better for you to tell him, rather than for someone else to say something to him about it and him think you are doing something behind his back.

Why? Will he refuse to take your money in future? Somehow I doubt it...

Also, will he tell you every time he teaches someone else "behind your back"?

 

[BM]

If anyone makes an issue of it, my response will be, "I just want to dance."

:applause: Dern straight!

 

[SPratt74]

Why? Will he refuse to take your money in future? Somehow I doubt it...

Also, will he tell you every time he teaches someone else "behind your back"?

Because some do get mad if you take from some place else or from another instructor even if they do like the person. And when you are stuck in the middle of something like that, it's not any fun. But it is your money. You decide what you want to do with it and to heck with everything else.

 

[quixotedlm]

Don't volunteer any info, but it doesn't have to be a secret either. I'm sure some friends will know your dual affiliations and will either talk about it or mention it to your coach. More than likely, he will know that it's none of his business. If he approaches you, you should be honest. If you approaches you with an attitude, remember to let him know that it's none of his concern what you do you in your spare time.

 

[redhead]

Because some do get mad if you take from some place else or from another instructor even if they do like the person.

From my experience, those who do get mad simply feel threatened by other instructors, which speaks volumes about their professionalism and belief in own abilities to retain students.

 

[wooh]

I wouldn't go out of my way to say anything, but I wouldn't try to hide it.

 

[Chris Stratton]

There can be some practical issues in having non-allied coaches. Pretty much any lesson creates a private bit of knowledge/experience, shared by the student(s) and the teacher. So if you have a lesson with coach A on Monday, you now have something shared between you, and your partner, and that coach, that's in your awareness and influencing your efforts. Walk into a lesson with coach B on wednesday, who knows nothing of this and wants to introduce other ideas or emphasis - which might not conflict in the long term, but at least will be a distraction in the short term. Now neither coach can be as fully effective as would be possible if they were fully in on everything that was going on in your dancing.

But that doesn't mean you can't do it. Or might not need to - if for example you can't get enough time with one coach to meet all of your needs. Ideally, it would be better to work with one coach, and that coach's allied guests and perhaps junior teachers, but sometimes you do have to shop ala carte. There's just a cost in coordination, even absent any personal feelings, involved in doing that.

 

[Dave Bailey]

Because some do get mad if you take from some place else or from another instructor even if they do like the person. And when you are stuck in the middle of something like that, it's not any fun.

Yes - I know what you're saying. Some teachers are unprofessional, basically, and let their egos get in the way of their teaching.

Which, to me, is a pretty big hint to avoid the teacher in the first place - although I'm lucky enough to live in a big city and have choice over where I
take classes.