Dancing with too good leaders

[tj]

Some teachers I have danced with look fantastic on the dancefloor but when we dance, I feel like something the cat dragged in and left under the sofa somewhere :? :lol: I have worked out that it is to do with our chemistry. If the chemistry isn't there, it would not matter if I was the greatest dancer on the earth, I still move/feel like something the cat dragged in :lol:

It wouldn't happen to be this lime green sock wearing cat, would it? :wink:

 

[bordertangoman]

None of us are scary. .

I would lurv to be scary :evil: :twisted:
sadly small children; furry pets and beginner followers flock around me. Obviously they ain't fooled by my act and can see I'm a soft touch. :cry:

 

[Pacion]

Some teachers I have danced with look fantastic on the dancefloor but when we dance, I feel like something the cat dragged in and left under the sofa somewhere :? :lol: I have worked out that it is to do with our chemistry. If the chemistry isn't there, it would not matter if I was the greatest dancer on the earth, I still move/feel like something the cat dragged in :lol:

It wouldn't happen to be this lime green sock wearing cat, would it? :wink:

ruff ruff :lol: :nope: TJ nice try though but alas, I didn't have this particular youngun in mind when I posted :wink:

 

[Roadrunner]

I think that really advanced leads can have different attitudes, and that is what can make them potentially intimidating.. Some of my favorite people to dance with are very advanced but also very friendly, easy going, chatty.. They don't make you feel like less of a person just because you didn't follow that move or your timing was off. And then there are the people that I just dread because they pick apart every little thing that I do. Constructive criticism is welcomed to a point, but there are some guys I dance with that will literally stop in the middle of the song to show me how I could be doing something better. Sometimes I just want to scream "You're not my teacher!!!!! Quit giving me a free lesson!!". I appreciate them trying to be helpful but there is a time when it's okay to just relax and enjoy the dance.. At a club or dance party, I expect to chill and dance.. Not be critiqued.

 

[tj]

Some teachers I have danced with look fantastic on the dancefloor but when we dance, I feel like something the cat dragged in and left under the sofa somewhere :? :lol: I have worked out that it is to do with our chemistry. If the chemistry isn't there, it would not matter if I was the greatest dancer on the earth, I still move/feel like something the cat dragged in :lol:

It wouldn't happen to be this lime green sock wearing cat, would it? :wink:

ruff ruff :lol: :nope: TJ nice try though but alas, I didn't have this particular youngun in mind when I posted :wink:

Of course, since Sabor changed his avatar again :shock: this doesn't make any sense any more. Lol!



And to Roadrunner: yeah, that stinks. The social dancefloor is not a place for critiquing one's partner.

 

[Sabor]

Of course, since Sabor changed his avatar again this doesn't make any sense any more. Lol!

did i now?.. tsk tsk :lol:

 

[blue]

That picture in your avatar can not be of you! if so, where are the socksies? 8)

 

[Sabor]

in ma bootsies :tongue:

 

[tj]

Of course, since Sabor changed his avatar again this doesn't make any sense any more. Lol!

did i now?.. tsk tsk :lol:

Lol! Now you changed it back!

(let's see how you long you can stand keeping it the same, lol!)

 

[tsb]

I think that really advanced leads can have different attitudes, and that is what can make them potentially intimidating.. Some of my favorite people to dance with are very advanced but also very friendly, easy going, chatty.. They don't make you feel like less of a person just because you didn't follow that move or your timing was off. And then there are the people that I just dread because they pick apart every little thing that I do. Constructive criticism is welcomed to a point, but there are some guys I dance with that will literally stop in the middle of the song to show me how I could be doing something better. Sometimes I just want to scream "You're not my teacher!!!!! Quit giving me a free lesson!!". I appreciate them trying to be helpful but there is a time when it's okay to just relax and enjoy the dance.. At a club or dance party, I expect to chill and dance.. Not be critiqued.

i think that this is the crux of the matter; there are leaders who have advanced technique but they are not advanced leaders - which IMO includes an appropriate mindset/attitude as much if not more so than the mastery of technique/styling.

 

[michelledoreen]

I've danced with advanced leaders who have interrupted the dance by teaching something. Unsolicited teaching is rather annoying, and I don't dance with people who consistently interrupt the dance to criticize or to teach me.

 

[Lucretia]

Blue, perhaps you should concentrate on the meeting with another person. Not the dance itself.

On of the lousiest dances I ever had was compensated by a great meeting. This time it was the guy who was real bad (usually it's me). He didn't keep the beat. And I also guess he was a ballroom salsero with a forced hip movement and therefore a very strange way of moving his upper body.

But we had so fun!

(I really don´t know if this about ballroom salsa is correct. The only thing I know that several girls in town have problem with the same guys. All these guys come from the same dance school. So it might be the teacher that is the problem - not ballroom salsa itself)


If I fail a pattern I smile and ask the leader to do it once more, when it suits him. It works pretty well. I have learnt a lot of new steps and patterns in this way.


/luc

 

[blue]

Blue, perhaps you should concentrate on the meeting with another person. Not the dance itself.

Hm, maybe so.

Maybe I find this meeting, sometimes - but when I get intimidated I shut that off and try only to dance well, which probably just makes things worse.

In my local lindy scene, people do a little bit of talking but people come there mainly to dance, not to socialise. I think it would be easier if we cut down on the focus on the dance quality aspects. I am the only one from my classes who go out dancing regularly, so I do not know so many people out there yet. I guess I will be more relaxed about things when I know more people. I know the first two or three times I went out dancing alone was pretty tough. Now there are always at least a few people I recognise and like to dance with.

There is one guy, who has probably been dancing for shorter time than me. There are many things he does awkwardly, and those that he learned in dropin-classes he can usually not really lead (not surprisingly, considered how these dances were taught. I am not saying they are bad, but you will not learn technique there.) Although many things can be said about his swingouts - for some reason, they are alive. He does not do them the same way three times in a row - with all his errors in technique, he manages to dance communicatively (if that is a word). This quality is something that I think one looses if one is focussed on doing things "right".

 

[tacad]

Blue, it occurs to me that the best I could do at first when trying to dance with better follows was just dance correctly. But you are right. There is less feeling. I think as I get used to dancing with technique the feeling will come.

 

[lundasalsa]

I'm not sure how advanced a leader I am; I do the "advanced classes", but I've seen plenty of people who are waaaay better than I am. Anyway, when I dance with anyone I always start with the same two simple moves to feel how responsive she is. From there on I increase the difficulty of the moves until I see that I'm asking too much. If my partner is a beginner but isn't thrown off the beat easily I tend to try out a lot of things that might be a bit too advanced for her, improvising (and always smiling) when she does something "wrong".

Most girls are cool with that approach (so I believe at least), but an occasional one seems to be uncomfortable with that.