Dear Alcohol...From Your Biggest Fan
- Thread starter Medira
- Start date
DWise1
Well-Known Member
pygmalion said:Love ya, facination. I had no idea what to say. But you said what my heart was thinking.
DWise1, listen to her. She's wise way beyond her years.:friend:
No, I don't blame myself. At the time I was acting to ensure his safety; I was about to go into his room to confiscate the rifle. I anticipated the problem, but I did not anticipate him acting so quickly and with such deliberation, considering the state that he was in. I was doing the best that I knew how to ensure his safety.
But it did happen on my watch. Thank you for your kind words, but nothing you can will change the fact that it happened on my watch. That's just the way it is. Just one more fact that I cannot change and must accept and live with.
I don't beat myself up over it, but I do not want to become involved with someone who still had minor children. I do not want to be in that position again.
PS
I just talked with my sister on the phone. Our other sister's grand-daughter's grandmother just died a few days ago. She was an alcoholic and died in a fire she started by falling asleep with a lit cigarette. My father was an alcoholic which had an impact on me as I was growing up. My brother-in-law has health problems that are alcohol-related. It seems that so much of the tragedy in my family has been due to alcohol abuse.
I enjoy an occasional drink, especially with a meal, but the last time I got drunk was back in 1979. I just wish that everyone would not abuse the stuff.
caityrosey
New Member
chandra said:randomysh:
What, despite all those pickles?? Or maybe because of them
Folks, we may have a new hangover cure, *pickle shots!!!* Anyone care to experiment with me?? Itll have to be a very scientific experiment, and that will include LOTSA shots!
(I just realized that was kinda innapropriate given context in this thread! withdrawing the "with me" part of that phrase)
Didn't take long for the pickle shots to get mentioned.
DWise1 said:
Yeah. Not much I can add here, except that, for what little it's worth, you have my cyber support. It's really funny (funny = odd,) but, when you first came to DF, I didn't really like you much. You came across as arrogant and stuffy to me, and reminded we way too much of the ex. *shudder* I was so wrong. That just goes to show how important it is to learn the back story before you judge people, or at least be willing to rethink the first impression. You're a sweetheart, DWise1; you deserve the very best in life. I believe that, one of these days, when you're ready to accept the best for yourself, you'll get it. :friend:
Well. You know my story.
There's something really striking about the way this thread's evolved. I think it says a lot about the complexities of our society's relationship with alcohol. Alcohol's a joke, a socially acceptable drug, and a bunch of other neutral to even positive things. But it also damages lives, destroys relationships, and sometimes even ends lives.
It's weird. Not sure I know where I stand on the whole thing. It's just weird.
And, on a lighter note. Pickle shots? You've gotta be kidding me. That's weird, too. :wink:
Medira
New Member
You know, I feel terrible for posting this now. As someone who drinks only on occasion (I can count on one hand the number of times I've had a drink this year...and still have fingers left over) and has never actually been drunk, I didn't think that passing this joke along would have resulted in this thread turning the way it has.
DWise, I'm so sorry to have brought those memories to the forefront of your mind. I have so much respect for you and the fact that something I posted made your thoughts turn to that night makes me feel just horrible. I will remove this thread once I know you have seen my apology.
DWise, I'm so sorry to have brought those memories to the forefront of your mind. I have so much respect for you and the fact that something I posted made your thoughts turn to that night makes me feel just horrible. I will remove this thread once I know you have seen my apology.
caityrosey
New Member
Does it involve a wheelbarrow? I have one that involves a wheelbarrow.
randomMysh
New Member
Caity--I was *trying* to keep the pickle shots out of it. For the record--I didn't bring them up!
Chandra--I'll do the experiment with you, but in a few years, sweetie.
Pygmalion--I was just thinking the same thing about all the different roles of alcohol. My experience of it has been entirely positive--everyone I know presonally drinks in moderation, nobody ever got hurt, etc. I even managed to avoid all the binge drinkers in college, despite going to the #1 party school in the country. But there is always someone nearby whose life got wrecked by it. It makes me feel guilty for enjoying alcohol sometimes, that knowledge. How can something be so innocent and fun, and so deadly at the same time?
Chandra--I'll do the experiment with you, but in a few years, sweetie.
Pygmalion--I was just thinking the same thing about all the different roles of alcohol. My experience of it has been entirely positive--everyone I know presonally drinks in moderation, nobody ever got hurt, etc. I even managed to avoid all the binge drinkers in college, despite going to the #1 party school in the country. But there is always someone nearby whose life got wrecked by it. It makes me feel guilty for enjoying alcohol sometimes, that knowledge. How can something be so innocent and fun, and so deadly at the same time?
fascination
Site Moderator
AMEN to all you have said...anything is dangerous when abused...but again , once a child is 17 none of us does or should watch their every move and anticipate the worst...we cant live like that and neither can they...and while you shouldnt subject yourself to any scenario in the future that may open you up to something you fear....that fear also mustn't win....but no parent who has ever lost a child would disagree with your feelings or criticize them...including myself and I will make a donation to MADD or any charity you might prefor this week in your son's memory...blessed holiday to youDWise1 said:
Indiana_Jay
Active Member
Twilight_Elena said:
I've always been too much of a control freak to allow myself to be drunk. The only drink I've ever enjoyed is good wine and I drink few than six glasses a year.
fascination
Site Moderator
medira...dont feel bad...its just part of what alienates grieving parents...we live a different reality...when we lost our baby daughter...I couldnt bear to see little girls...no one was being insensitive in loving their little grils and in talking about them I just couldn't without injecting my story...dwise brings part of the story of alcohol to the fore and so do you.....it is not an "either or" , it is a "both and"...IMOMedira said:
Indiana_Jay
Active Member
DWise1 said:
God bless you, man. I especially hope the teens who read this thread were as moved by your story as I was. You might have just prevented another alcohol-related death. Thanks for sharing.
I've never lost anyone close thorugh any kind of alcohol-related incident, but as a former emergency medical technician, I've seen too many others die. And as Kansas49er has no doubt experienced, often in an alcohol-related crash, the drunk driver survives and the sober driver (and/or passenger) dies.
Grace and Peace,
Jay
Indiana_Jay
Active Member
Medira said:
Medira, I can think of several reasons for you not to feel terrible.
1.) It was a funny joke. Many of us enjoyed the humor.
2.) It opened the door for DWise1 to share.
3.) Others will likely benefit from reading his story (which is obviously his intent).
4.) I doubt that anything you say or do (including posting a joke as you did) will affect the amount of pain DWise1 feels from his loss.
So, please give up on any idea of deleting the thread.
Grace and Peace,
Jay
DWise1
Well-Known Member
Medira said:
There is no need for you to remove this thread, especially not on my account. Please do not.
And don't feel bad. My thoughts often turn to my son and to that night and to the many nights that have followed, so this thread did no more than my continuing to breathe has.
Rather, I should apologize to you, since I tend to take the subject too seriously much of the time.
Your post did not glorify alcohol, but rather served as a reminder of some of the more common problems it causes and that is something that we do need to keep in mind. Taken in moderation, it can actually be helpful at times -- eg, various health benefits cited for having a single drink a day, enabling some people to relax enough to engage in social activities (eg, a friend who can't face a dance venue that has disco music unless she's had a drink). The problems arise when its use is abused, which unfortunately happens far too often.
I am not a tee-totaler and I do enjoy beer, wine, scotch, tequila, and German Schnapps (especially Obstbranntwein, AKA "Obstwasser", though Kirschwasser is also good, but Korn is truly horrible stuff). But I very rarely have more than one drink a night and most often opt for non-alcoholic, especially if I'm dancing. For one thing, I worried about possible hereditary tendencies towards alcoholism so I wanted to avoid developing it. And alcohol was not part of our home life in my marriage, mainly through my wife's influence, though ironically she's a heavier drinker than I am (but I've never known her to be drunk).
OK, here's a bit of alcohol humor from a book in my early college days, "A Child's Garden of Grass". Consider the problems of getting a woman drunk in order to have sex with her. For one thing, it's about as satisfying as making love to a dead goldfish. Besides, she might throw up on you.