Do you tell people what your goals are? Is it normal to not have any or only vague goals?

[VronskyWasSoVain]

I guess my question is generic but for the purpose of staying on topic, do you tell people or make it known what your dancing objectives are?

I started ballroom dancing just under 2 years ago almost as a fluke. I had no idea it would be the start of an exciting new journey and chapter in my life. I've also been lucky to have very very good teachers. Never been much of a sports/athletic person and I've always struggled to go the gym regularly. But I love dancing and as a result, it motivates me to keep fit too. Dancing has transformed my health/fitness and my confidence. Before dance, I was an overweight guy who drank too much and suffered from social anxiety. Now I can walk with more confidence and I am no longer nervous in any social setting. I've lost weight and I look a lot better.

I look forward to my lessons every week and I enjoy working hard at it. It gets to the point that the studio owners are sometimes concerned because by the end of my lesson, I am sweating. I think they wonder sometimes what motivates me to work so hard and at one point, they were even concerned that my teacher was too hard on me. The truth is, I love working hard and I'm getting good results for my money as a result of it.

I have a fantasy goal in mind that I'm afraid of telling anyone because I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. But somewhere in the long term, I may want to become a dance instructor like a second career. I know it's a lofty goal. Most of the teachers started dancing since they were old enough to walk. I had a very very late start. Maybe it's too soon to say too since I only been dancing for 2 years and I'm projecting way too far.

I don't like telling people my goals for anything in life whether it's my career or anything personal. There are always gonna be naysayers and people who tell you why you can't or shouldn't do it. But for me right now, it's just something fun to think about.

When the studio owners asked me what my dance objectives are, I answered vaguely. I said I want to dance as beautifully and elegantly as possible. Because that's true. But I'm not gonna be like, "I actually want to be a dance teacher someday....."

I read this article that I can't remember but it went something like, if you already can see the end or the ultimate objective of something, it's time to maybe do something else. I think the article had to do with how you know when it's time to switch jobs. The most exciting things in life are when you don't really know what's ahead or you only have some kinda vague goal.

 

[RiseNFall]

Well, I certainly share with the people teaching me what my goals are. How are they to help me achieve them if they don't know?

 

[VronskyWasSoVain]

I don't know. It's an insecurity I have. I think it stems from childhood. I remember telling my parents certain goals I had and they shot it down. Or maybe I'm superstitious in that if I tell people what my goals are, then something will go wrong and it won't happen. I'm just afraid of being disappointed or being discouraged.

Edit:

@RiseNFall

I recall that you're of Asian descent, right? You know how Asian immigrant parents are.....they just want you to study hard and get a well-paying job (and rightly so). But in the process, I think they can also be very discouraging and negative about things.

 

[DL]

I guess my question is generic but for the purpose of staying on topic, do you tell people or make it known what your dancing objectives are?

I think I did not say much beyond that I wanted to be a good dancer, with more emphasis on social rather than competitive dancing (although I did both because my practice partner was more interested in competitive than social).

I have a fantasy goal in mind that I'm afraid of telling anyone because I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. But somewhere in the long term, I may want to become a dance instructor like a second career.

I think this is a phase that many people go through. Obviously it turns out to be a life choice that some people decide really is the right fit for them, and other people decide iis not the right fit after all. Many factors in addition to dancing talent/ability/commitment/skill play into that choice.

Re: parents -- it's probably safer in general to talk about "my parents" than to talk about "Asian immigrant parents".

 

[Wannabe Triple Threat]

I often have discussions with my teacher about what my current goals are. His input helps refine them and also helps him decide how to best help me in achieving them -- after all, that's his job!

I'm also not shy about sharing my goals with others. My hope is that through seeing me work and achieve my goals, others will be inspired to persevere with theirs and in turn inspire me to work even harder. We're all in this together!

 

[raindance]

If you think you want to become a teacher someday, do some research about what the job is really like. Read threads here (use search), talk to teachers about what their job is like (you don't have to tell them you are thinking of becoming one, yet, if you don't want to). The job may not be quite what you think it is, if you're just thinking it means you get to dance a lot.

If you truly want to become a teacher, you may be better to share that goal sooner than later. Many studios offer teacher training programs. If you qualify, you'd have to put in a lot of hours, but you would start getting your teacher training as part of your job (not that it would pay much to start), rather than continuing as a paying student. Though there would still be ongoing dance expenses, depending on your path (costumes, coaching, etc).

If it's just a "maybe someday" vague thing in your head, it's fine to keep it to yourself for now.

But do think of some concrete dance goals, short to medium term, to share with your teachers so they can better guide you toward them. Your big, lofty, long term goals can be motivating to keep working at it, and it's up to you who you want to share those goals with. But the short to medium terms goals are the ones that direct your daily/weekly/monthly efforts and allow you to see your progress. They shouldn't be too intimidating to share with others, typically.

Short to medium term goals might be things like, becoming more comfortable dancing dances X, Y, Z socially. Learning the bronze syllabus steps for a certain group of dances. Entering a competition. Doing a showcase. Or improving your frame, or working on timing, or .... whatever you like.

If you can't think of appropriate short to medium term goals for your dancing, ask your teachers, they should have some suggestions for you. But in the end, your goals are yours.

Have fun with your dancing, and good luck!

 

[opendoor]

..what your dancing objectives are?

Think I´ve reached eveything I could imagine. So my next objective is to be invited as a DJ to some renowned festivals.

 

[Mengu]

If you want to be the best dancer you can be, then, by all means, you should look for opportunities to teach. This doesn't necessarily mean becoming a dance teacher as a career, but the act, or even the intention of teaching, is a great tool for learning. When students are learning to teach someone else, their retention is much higher, than when they are simply listening to a lecture. Also teaching gives you better perspective on what's important, improves your problem solving which will impact your own ability to adapt to different partners, and it's great mileage.

Keep in mind teaching, and making a living from teaching are two vastly different goals. If you want the latter, you need to love not only dance, but also sales, service, social connections, and be able and willing to deal with other business aspects.

 

[10tmf]

I'm generally open with my goals if someone asks about them and proactive with my coach when it comes to setting them (short, medium, and long term). I may be wrong, but I feel like that helps her tailor our lessons a bit better and gets us on the same page.

 

[opendoor]

..don't like telling people my goals..

Hi Vronsky, seems you do not know the difference between instructor and teacher? So which box would you spontaneously check?

-An instructor has to know one teaching system perfectly. And he should be a good dancer.
-A teacher must be able to switch perspectives, he must not be a good dancer, but perfect at analyzing.

-An instructor has to cooperate with his dance studio.
-A teacher has to switch studios.

-An instructor is an advertisement for the studio.
-A teacher is a risk to the studio.

 

[DL]

Hi Vronsky, seems you do not know the difference between instructor and teacher?

This all seems like a semantic quibble / philosophical argument to me. I am not so sure that the "instructor" and "teacher" labels you attempt to define here are helpful to a newbie who just wants to pay money for dance lessons.

The best teachers I ever had certainly were good dancers and were not at odds with the studios at which they taught (as far as I was able to determine, with a certain amount of sophistication backing my determination). Some were studio owners when they taught me; some were studio owners but not at the time they taught me; some AFAIK were never studio owners.

Of course it is important for any student in any field to critically assess whether any given teacher has the skills, temperament, and willingness to provide the service for which the student is paying. For many (most?) dance students, one aspect is enjoyment; and if this is lacking then even a very technically competent teacher may not be the right pick. OTOH there are very many threads on DF regarding teachers who have mastered the art of convincing students that they are learning rapidly and well, without actually teaching them effectively, much to the subsequent surprise and dismay of the students. It is best to try and avoid such teachers (I think this is the gist of your post).

In any case, sometimes a good teacher perceives an opportunity to provide a crucial insight, perhaps at the cost of short-term gratification. A student with long-term goals needs to develop a degree of understanding for such cases.

It is in general difficult to determine which view to take of a given situation over the internet, without first-hand knowledge.

 

[DL]

This all seems like a semantic quibble / philosophical argument to me. I am not so sure that the "instructor" and "teacher" labels you attempt to define here are helpful to a newbie who just wants to pay money for dance lessons.

Whoops, I angled this post as if it were in a different thread; but I think the main points are still relevant for an aspiring teacher of newbies who just want to pay money for dance lessons.

 

[Greybeard]

** Start Sarcasm**
Never tell your goals to anyone else. That way you will not be embarrassed when you do not make them.
** End Sarcasm**

Do share your goals with anyone that can help you. Otherwise they might help you to meet the goals they think you want or their goals. And just moral support is help.

 

[FancyFeet]

I've learned to selectively share my goals in dance (unfortunately, in my opinion). As a fairly private person, some of the early experiences I had with trying to be more open around the studio did not go well. Consequently, I have a number that I have never told to anyone outside of my psychologist's office - but that doesn't mean that they are not very specific and being worked toward!

My experience has been that a large number of people tell you why your goals are flat-out not possible, rather than helping you make a plan to reach them or helping you adjust them to something that is achievable. And frankly, that's just not the kind of energy I need in my life.

I do share my shorter-term and some longer term goals with my teachers. And when I was newer and my goals were smaller, I shared pretty much all of them with my pro. But I am now at the point where this is my dance journey, not that of my teachers… I use different teachers and sources to bring in the elements that I feel I need to get where I want to go, but don't have that one person who helps me pull it all together. (Wish I did, but that's not my current situation!)

 

[ocean-daughter]

Every now and again I ponder what my goals are, and then I share them in conversation with my teachers.

I suppose that having a focused conversation a couple of times a year would be a good idea.

For the past couple of years, dance has been such a journey that specific goals (other than continuing to improve technique) haven't really been the focus. Plus I have some goals in my non-dance life that are taking a lot of energy. So the goal in dance has been enjoyment.