Don't impress her with your fancy steps! Impress her with your...

[Zhena]

There's a new lead (has done 3 years of lessons and very little actual dancing) who tries to hang out with us lately. He tries out all these fancy steps with a myriad of follows. When he tries it out with women who are more advanced and can follow just about anything led, good, bad, or otherwise, they oblige.

Then he asks them. "Is that OK?" Or, "Is that better?" Because he asked, the women say something politely along the lines of "Acceptable."

...

He tries dancing again with the experienced women follows, and asks them, over and over again, "Is that OK?" Or, "Is that better?" Finally exasperated, each one of them answer along the lines of "Concentrate on the connection, master 'The Walk,' and keep it simple."

After getting over my beginner's tendency to offer "helpful" hints to leaders, I now find it difficult to provide ANY feedback other than a big smile and heartfelt "thank you" when a dance has been particularly good.

So ... if someone asks "Is that OK", when can I tell the truth? (Acknowledging that the situation may be like the one described where the guy doesn't really want to hear what I so desperately want to tell him).

 

[Ampster]

So ... if someone asks "Is that OK", when can I tell the truth? (Acknowledging that the situation may be like the one described where the guy doesn't really want to hear what I so desperately want to tell him).

According to my wife and my other tango partners who've been doing this a while, what they do is:

1. "It was ok" is a polite non-ego-tramppling answer
2. If the lead doesn't accept that, repeat #1
3. If the leader persists, then the truth, albeit, politely delivered is acceptable

Remeber, they asked.

 

[Steve Pastor]

If it's at a milonga you should probably continue smiling, etc.
If it's at a practica, you should try to gauge whether or not the individual really wants objective feedback.
"Is that OK" is a pretty vague question, and proably deserves a vague answer.
If you do offer an honest opinion at a practica, be as specific and as focused as possible.
And be prepared to accept any consequences for telling the truth (as you see it).

 

[bafonso]

One answer to that is "Simplicity hides a thousand complexities - it's only boring to beginners."

Quote of the month!

 

[larrynla]

After getting over my beginner's tendency to offer "helpful" hints to leaders, I now find it difficult to provide ANY feedback other than a big smile and heartfelt "thank you" when a dance has been particularly good.

That and a happy "Yes" when he asks later to dance with you is all, and the best, feedback you can give. Actions speak louder than words.

Larry de Los Angeles
http://shapechangers.wordpress.com

 

[newbie]

There's a new lead (has done 3 years of lessons and very little actual dancing) who tries to hang out with us lately. He tries out all these fancy steps with a myriad of follows.

Then he asks them. "Is that OK?" Or, "Is that better?"

Our "friend" asks the leads how long it took us to get to where we are in tango,

He says, "I don't understand why so many women want to dance with you. You're not doing anything special."

He tries dancing again with the experienced women follows, and asks them, over and over again, "Is that OK?" Or, "Is that better?"

His answer to the ladies: "But simple is very boring"

I love this guy.

 

[Angel HI]

There's a new lead (has done 3 years of lessons and very little actual dancing) ..... He says, "I don't understand why so many women want to dance with you. You're not doing anything special."

He tries dancing again with the experienced women follows, ... each one of them answer along the lines of "Concentrate on the connection, master 'The Walk,' and keep it simple."
His answer to the ladies: "But simple is very boring." :doh:

The sad thing is, Amps, that this guy will never change. He doesn't, nor will he ever, understand.

"Simplicity hides a thousand complexities - it's only boring to beginners."

Great quote...I know I'll use it often.