Emotion, expression thoughts

[rhythmflavoredsmoothie]

I recently have been struggling with emotion and expression in my dance, and the best thing for me to do is to write out my thoughts. What I’ve written is long, but I’d you took time to read it I would appreciate it so much.

Well; I don’t know why I’m doing this. I guess I think that writing this will give me some sort of magical epiphany and let me be some free bird who doesn’t give a crap about the world, but let’s see how this goes. Emotion. The one part of my dancing I just can’t seem to laughing handle at all. I’m getting a handle on technique, and bodily expression (at least without as much of a coach’s grimace) but emotion seems to be the one thing I hold back on. Obviously this is something that everyone struggles with and even takes years to be comfortable with, and I know I can’t speed it up in a matter of minutes or paragraphs or even novels but I can at least try to understand myself a bit more if I write it out.

When I practice alone, I feel like I can be myself. I’m alone, have no one to judge and can play as I feel I want to. That girl is something else, she is sensual, somewhat sexy, and plays with the audience (or my coffee table) well. She presents herself to her imaginary crowd and gives them the most fun performance to watch. She is expressive and responds to her partner, and makes him respond to her. She is everything I want to be, all the time.

Bur I can’t seem to let her see everyone else. The real crowd, the real people, the real partner. It’s like I keep that character in a cage that keeps her backed in a corner, scared. Sometimes she can reach an arm through the bars, but as soon as she does someone bites her hand.

It’s not even that I get bad reactions from my coaches or my friends or family, it’s that getting good reaction freaks me out. Being vulnerable and sensual or sexy or whatever I need to be is hard. That’s true for every dancer at some point. Whether it’s for those first few classes or even years everyone feels it. I’ve seen and received so much advice on it. Keep the emotion internal, don’t focus on the external. Emote at your partner, not to them. Pretend your partner is a chocolate bar, because apparently you can act sensually to a piece of chocolate. And some of it helps, and some is just too ridiculous to try and do.

I guess what I need to do is not act scared or nervous. I just need to act how I want, and realize it’s not going to hurt me but help me. I want my dancing to be expressive and I want to progress in it, and if I want to do that I shouldnt sabotage myself. Let the fire within the girl in the cage burn it down. Let it simmer until she can bust out and be who she is and show everyone. And maybe not all at once, bur let her slowly escape the metaphorical cage she’s in. She is raring to go, and I keep making the cage smaller and smaller. I dance for a reason, for the way it makes me feel. How the music just pulses through my heart and into my veins, and makes me MOVE! I also dance for everyone. To perform for people, one of my greatest passions. I want them to see the amazing connection between me and my partner but also have a connection with them that keeps them watching. To keep them laughing, smiling, or in love. If not to express myself, I express for the audience to enjoy. For them to have a chance to see my partner and is dancing.

I want to be able to give my partner the “yes, and” (if anyone understand theatre) and bounce off of his energy and intertwine ours. After all, it’s not all about me, it’s also about him, and I want to give him the best as well. And be able to look into his eyes, his sharp blue eyes that pierce through my soul gosh darnit!, and make me nervous. I want to strangle that nervosity, and overcome it. The shy, shameful feeling will not control me from now on. I will no longer submit to being scared, and just feel and do what my soul tells me instead of fighting it. It’s time for me to be a big girl and do big girl things. I want to be the best dancer I can, the best performer, the best partner, and overall, the best and most confident, comfortable me.

If you took the time to read this (if I post this), thank you, and I hope you can resonate with something, and please add your thoughts too.

Much love,

The girl who no longer wishes to be scared.

 

[fiesta0618]

Such a difficult topic. You're right that (almost) everyone is challenged by this to one degree or another, and there really isn't any way for anyone to help. Learning to emote is an entirely internal journey.

My growth in this area has always revolved around trust.

Do I trust my partner, that I can share emotion with them without judgment?
Do I trust my audience, that they will receive my performance with approval, or even love?
Do I trust myself, that my technique is sufficiently skillful that my performance has artistic value regardless of my emotion?

***************

For the first, I've worked on building a solid personal friendship with my competition dance partner. We move in very different circles and would never have met outside of dance, so the journey there has been slow and gradual.

(My other partner is my wife, and deep trust is table-stakes in our relationship. She and I have never struggled to emote together.)

For the second, my initial crutch was performing for friends and family. People who love me regardless of what I do. They're biased, and I know it, but it's easier to be vulnerable in front of people to whom I am already vulnerable. When my loved ones are in a crowd, I can focus on performing for them. Everyone else can go hang--their opinion means nothing to me. Or so I can pretend in the moment.

For the last, practice is its own reward. As I become ever stronger technically, I know that fewer and fewer people are capable of imitating my work, and the rarity of my skill grants proportional artistic value to my performance. I'm no professional, nor ever will be. The heights of skill above me are far greater than the ones I've already mastered. But it is a steep slope indeed--most people never learn to dance, far less study it, and I've gone much farther down the path than most people who start. This thought gives me a measure of courage, because I know that (almost) nobody in the crowd can do exactly what I do. And the same is true for you!

 

[rhythmflavoredsmoothie]

Such a difficult topic. You're right that (almost) everyone is challenged by this to one degree or another, and there really isn't any way for anyone to help. Learning to emote is an entirely internal journey.

My growth in this area has always revolved around trust.

Do I trust my partner, that I can share emotion with them without judgment?
Do I trust my audience, that they will receive my performance with approval, or even love?
Do I trust myself, that my technique is sufficiently skillful that my performance has artistic value regardless of my emotion?

***************

For the first, I've worked on building a solid personal friendship with my competition dance partner. We move in very different circles and would never have met outside of dance, so the journey there has been slow and gradual.

(My other partner is my wife, and deep trust is table-stakes in our relationship. She and I have never struggled to emote together.)

For the second, my initial crutch was performing for friends and family. People who love me regardless of what I do. They're biased, and I know it, but it's easier to be vulnerable in front of people to whom I am already vulnerable. When my loved ones are in a crowd, I can focus on performing for them. Everyone else can go hang--their opinion means nothing to me. Or so I can pretend in the moment.

For the last, practice is its own reward. As I become ever stronger technically, I know that fewer and fewer people are capable of imitating my work, and the rarity of my skill grants proportional artistic value to my performance. I'm no professional, nor ever will be. The heights of skill above me are far greater than the ones I've already mastered. But it is a narrow pyramid indeed--most people never learn to dance, far less study it, and I've gone farther down the pat than most people who start. This thought gives me a measure of courage, because I know that (almost) nobody in the crowd can do exactly what I do. And the same is true for you!

That’s wonderful advice and a good thought to have, that no one can do exactly what you do. Thank you for your words!!

 

[j_alexandra]

I recently have been struggling with emotion and expression in my dance, and the best thing for me to do is to write out my thoughts. What I’ve written is long, but I’d you took time to read it I would appreciate it so much.

<snip>

I want to be able to give my partner the “yes, and”

AH AH AH AH TTHISSS haven't done improv in ages but THIS THIS THIS

If you took the time to read this (if I post this), thank you, and I hope you can resonate with something, and please add your thoughts too.

Much love,

The girl who no longer wishes to be scared.

I wish I had something to offer other than: the only way out of it is through.

 

[rhythmflavoredsmoothie]

AH AH AH AH TTHISSS haven't done improv in ages but THIS THIS THIS


I wish I had something to offer other than: the only way out of it is through.

I KNOW THE IMPROV AHH

and also, that small snippet really makes sense and motivates me, thank you

 

[rels77]

How long have you been dancing?

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

to be fair my pro has the most shocking eyes that I cannot look in them for more than a second without looking away lol.

And be able to look into his eyes, his sharp blue eyes that pierce through my soul gosh darnit!, and make me nervous.

It makes me a little uneasy that you’ve mentioned his eyes like this in two of your ten posts so far. To me, it almost sounds like you might be somewhat romanticizing the student/teacher relationship. And while that is a common reaction for a student to have, it can lead to a world of heartache (and headache). Your bio says you’re 19...how old is he?

Note: I might be totally misreading your situation. But as the mother of three daughters between the ages of 17 to 23, tuning in to potential hazards like this is practically an occupational requirement.

 

[bry_dancer]

And be able to look into his eyes, his sharp blue eyes that pierce through my soul gosh darnit!, and make me nervous

When I first started dancing with my current pro I couldn't look into her eyes either to the extent that we joked about how I would always turn away or look scared. Now after a year and half of dancing together it's no problem at all. The main thing that helped me overcome it was getting to know her better as a real person and developing confidence and trust.

When I first started dancing with her all I could think about was how she was this beautiful dancing goddess and it was intimidating. But as I got to know her better I realized she was just a normal person with all the faults and foibles of anyone else so that took her off the pedestal and at the same time I improved my dancing skill so I was more comfortable with my ability to match her. Lastly after lots of lessons and dance comps we have developed a level of trust with each other that we work together as a team without judgement to create something amazing for the audience!

 

[tangotime]

Scrivener wrote a page on expression in his book and as I believe the only Prof to do this.

 

[Greybeard]

And my teacher wants me to not look in her eyes. "Head left, Greybeard, head left!"

 

[rels77]

It makes me a little uneasy that you’ve mentioned his eyes like this in two of your ten posts so far. To me, it almost sounds like you might be somewhat romanticizing the student/teacher relationship. And while that is a common reaction for a student to have, it can lead to a world of heartache (and headache). Your bio says you’re 19...how old is he?

Note: I might be totally misreading your situation. But as the mother of three daughters between the ages of 17 to 23, tuning in to potential hazards like this is practically an occupational requirement.

Actually, I’m going to piggy back off this. First of all, welcome to DF! Looking back on your posts, it seems that you are a young amateur syllabus dancer with an am partner who has not yet competed.
I’m going to go against the grain and say at lower syllabus levels emotion won’t get you as far as technique. And actually, too much emotion looks a little ridiculous on early dancers—- take it from someone who has too much performance emotion. My first 2 years competing were more about beating that out of me. Be clean, be precise, have great posture, strong feet, great frame- that’s what counts at syllabus level. There is nothing more wierd to watch than a bronze level dancer who’s still learning how to handle the technique trying to be “sexy” in a rumba. Work with your partner in being the best technically you can. The “emotions” can come later.
And if you’re trying to compete- in syllabus, clean and boring will often beat emotional.

 

[fiesta0618]

I’m going to go against the grain and say at lower syllabus levels emotion won’t get you as far as technique. And actually, too much emotion looks a little ridiculous on early dancers—- take it from someone who has too much performance emotion.

....

Work with your partner in being the best technically you can. The “emotions” can come later.
And if you’re trying to compete- in syllabus, clean and boring will often beat emotional.

Amen to this. My competition partner and I have ben wildly successful through Silver level with a totally deadpan performance. I have teammates who have managed to win in Prechamp without any notable emotion, even.

Emotion can certainly help (as with my wife, where we are not technically great but overperform because we are are excellent performers), but it is not decisive--or even 100% required.

 

[Dr Dance]

Just a remark about "your eyes" from a technique perspective:

Directing your eyes is a part of focus. When you dance, you focus yourself in three directions.

(1) Inwardly, toward self. You seem to have this part down.
(2) Toward your partner. Dancing is a form of acting. Play your part according to the characteristics of your dance and your choreography. If it's rumba, then love him, leave him, and love him again. If it's cha cha, then seduce him. Etc....
(3) Toward your audience (including judges). Try to "include" your audience in your dance without actually dancing with them. Methods of expressions and gestures and looks toward the audience will be learned in droves at the champ level as you learn to better express yourself for each dance.

But "forgetting" to focus your eyes can make you appear to be ugly. I tend to do that as I focus upon other body parts during step sequences. At your level, the simple solution is to "watch where you're going," and don't relax your eyes to the point of appearing unfocused.

 

[rhythmflavoredsmoothie]

It makes me a little uneasy that you’ve mentioned his eyes like this in two of your ten posts so far. To me, it almost sounds like you might be somewhat romanticizing the student/teacher relationship. And while that is a common reaction for a student to have, it can lead to a world of heartache (and headache). Your bio says you’re 19...how old is he?

Note: I might be totally misreading your situation. But as the mother of three daughters between the ages of 17 to 23, tuning in to potential hazards like this is practically an occupational requirement.

Oh my, that is absolutely not what I’m trying to do at all haha, there is no confusion abour anything, he is quite older than I am, and there is no romanticization of anything, it is a very respectful and safe partnership. I don’t have any romantic feelings for him, he’s just a daunting person lol, thank you for you concern however!! I have definitely seen fellow dancers be confused or get in bad situations because did this, but I assure you, that’s not mine

 

[rhythmflavoredsmoothie]

Actually, I’m going to piggy back off this. First of all, welcome to DF! Looking back on your posts, it seems that you are a young amateur syllabus dancer with an am partner who has not yet competed.
I’m going to go against the grain and say at lower syllabus levels emotion won’t get you as far as technique. And actually, too much emotion looks a little ridiculous on early dancers—- take it from someone who has too much performance emotion. My first 2 years competing were more about beating that out of me. Be clean, be precise, have great posture, strong feet, great frame- that’s what counts at syllabus level. There is nothing more wierd to watch than a bronze level dancer who’s still learning how to handle the technique trying to be “sexy” in a rumba. Work with your partner in being the best technically you can. The “emotions” can come later.
And if you’re trying to compete- in syllabus, clean and boring will often beat emotional.

Yes, I definitely agree on that. Maybe I’ll stop focusing on it so much, and I definitely put technique before anything, as syllabus dancers without technique is...an interesting thing to watch lol