Etiquette

mamboqueen

mamboqueen

Well-Known Member
I'm sure there's a thread on this somewhere, but I'm too lazy to go looking.

I went to an out-of-state social dance the other night. It was really quite wonderful - must have been around 130 people there, and LOTS of available leads. I got asked to dance quite a bit and was wondering how different it might be in another area...do they learn completely different steps, etc.??. In any event, I got asked to do a tango by a guy who turned out to be a very advanced dancer. I haven't really been focusing on my smooth dances, but I can usually muddle through the "typical" steps. He did one move I recognized and everything else was so far beyond me, I just hoped to keep my footwork moving along with his, nevermind anything else extraneous. He put me in some open positions and since I only recognized one of them, I didn't really know what to do, so I kinda made up my own thing

What the heck do you do with this??? Isn't he supposed to figure out my abilities and dance accordingly? I kind of held my own, but it was like an out-of-body experience for me. And, especially when you consider that the guy has never seen me before. I hid behind other people after that one.
 
Two ideas spring to mind.

Perhaps the leader may have been experienced, but not all that advanced, and quite possibly attempting things beyond his own capability.

Or perhaps he was used to doing something different - international vs. american for example, and tried to remember material he might have once been shown that he thought you might know, only to find that you didn't know it, plus perhaps he couldn't really remember all the details. I've found that particularly in american style there are some bits of moderately complicated choreography widely known in a given community that most can safely muddle through, unless dancing with someone who hasn't learned it before.

As a leader, it can be a bit of a challenge trying to figure out what to do when dancing with someone used to dancing different material. From my perspective, I can always just lead (and often enjoy) nice basics, but I think sometimes people get a bit bored with this. I tend to project the image of a moderately competent dancer, and perhaps live up to it in the occasional dance with someone really expert at following, so if someone grabs me based on that and our greatest common capability turns out to be all basics... sometimes, I'll try to wing things I'm not really solid on to provide some variety.
 
Or perhaps you were doing really well dancing with other leads, and he thought you would be able to follow it?
 
Chris - at first, I thought we were doing international because there were no basic movements that I could recognize, but then he opened me up - that's not Standard, right? He was zipping along pretty quickly, and he kept saying "good girl", which is a pretty big pet peeve of mine (although being called a "girl" is never a bad thing :D ). I guess I'm assuming he was advanced because I've danced with an open-level dancer at my studio, and I have trouble following him. Normally, in my mind anyway, I presume someone is advanced if they don't have a hard time getting me to do what they want me to do.

Delamusica - LOL! I could only hope that was the reason, but I think at the point where I danced with him, it was fairly early on, and if he had seen me doing anything, it was either a latin, swing or a very sad foxtrot with a self-taught older man.

And then there's the ones that go back and forth between international and american styles, mid-dance. What's up with that?? Maybe they just like to test us!

In any event, I was happy to have survived the tango. I hope to focus on the smooth/standard dances again someday!
 
Yeah - I knew the basic, though. I just decided one day that I wanted to start going to salsa clubs, so I did. Didn't know anybody who wanted to go . . . went anyway. Never done salsa . . . went anyway. What I think Sagitta was referring to was that I posted here after the first time I went out, complaining that guys were doing neck drops and such with me even after I told them I was new.

In any case, glad you made it through your tango. Even when I am working on standard, tango is the dance that I find hardest to follow socially. Kudos for being brave enough to try it!
 
mamboqueen said:
And then there's the ones that go back and forth between international and american styles, mid-dance. What's up with that??
Click to expand...

I actually do this a lot. I find that the international style figures are often more leadable, both because I understand them in more detail and also because the actions themselves are often outrageously obvious when the leader does his part correctly. Something like an international tango link is so much more secure than the opening to promenade from an american tango basic. Also international style figures tend to be shorter units, which I'm more used to fitting together as needed to navigate the floor (even when I was competing smooth, the contingency material had become standard-based given that syllabus restrictions no longer applied).

But, if I'm dancing with someone who really gives the feel of wanting to follow familiar figures rather than fundamental actions, then I may try to use more american style material, both in terms of characteristic closed work, and open work. Until by reflex or design I put in another standard figure...

I've really tended to consider the styles as ultimately just being biases towards certain types of figures within the same dance - for example, international foxtrot tends to grab opportunities for follower's heel turns and inline actions, while (continuity) american foxtrot goes to promenade at every chance, and prefers outside partner actions.
 
delamusica said:
Yeah - I knew the basic, though. I just decided one day that I wanted to start going to salsa clubs, so I did. Didn't know anybody who wanted to go . . . went anyway. Never done salsa . . . went anyway. What I think Sagitta was referring to was that I posted here after the first time I went out, complaining that guys were doing neck drops and such with me even after I told them I was new.
Click to expand...

Yes, thanks for clarifying dela. :)

And I agree with you Chris about using movements and not necessarily strictly hewing to one style one technique for one song one dance.
 
mamboqueen said:
And then there's the ones that go back and forth between international and american styles, mid-dance. What's up with that?? Maybe they just like to test us!
Click to expand...

No comment. :nope:

After all, it's not a closed syllabus competition. If it's a social floor, I tend to go for all of it. It's tougher "timing-wise" between American and international rumba, but I don't stay away from it if I can help it.
 
mamboqueen said:
He did one move I recognized and everything else was so far beyond me, I just hoped to keep my footwork moving along with his, nevermind anything else extraneous. He put me in some open positions and since I only recognized one of them, I didn't really know what to do, so I kinda made up my own thing

What the heck do you do with this??? Isn't he supposed to figure out my abilities and dance accordingly?
Click to expand...
Maybe he did. Sounds like you followed fine. You don't actually have to know the figures you are doing to follow well and dance well as a lady, after all.
 
mamboqueen said:
And then there's the ones that go back and forth between international and american styles, mid-dance. What's up with that??
Click to expand...
What's wrong with that?

Standard is just a subset of Smooth.
 
Well, I suppose it doesn't matter if a lead switches as long as it doesn't matter that I don't necessarily do the right step, right?? I took 3 international foxtrot classes, and 2 of them were drills to find our center. The third one started with feather steps and heel turns. At this point, there is no way I would *know* to do a heel turn, but I suppose as long as I move in the right direction, it doesn't matter.

There are some dances, where I do find the switch challenging, like rumba. The timing for International rumba is closer to bolero (in my opinion) than American rumba. Going back and forth between those 2 dances would look kinda silly to me....

Okay; I'll quit complaining and just shut up and follow. Be glad I have someone asking me to dance, right????
 
mamboqueen said:
There are some dances, where I do find the switch challenging, like rumba. The timing for International rumba is closer to bolero (in my opinion) than American rumba. Going back and forth between those 2 dances would look kinda silly to me....
Click to expand...

I thought both styles of rumba were quick quick slow. :? What do you mean by different timing?
 
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