Follows: doing Am AND pro/am

[elisedance]

The idea for this this thread was stimulated by a post by Wooh (I hope you don't mind ):

Well, husband and me started because I wanted to. He's better than me. It's annoying being in his shadow, but I love it too much to quit. Now if he was pointing out to me how much better he is, or always "helping" me, I could see being annoyed enough to quit.
On the original topic, here's a hint. Referring to college girls as "hot" when you're older and married will up your creepy rating.

I can't remember - but do you do pro/am as well as dance with your DH? I think its quite normal that in a typical lesson the leads get ~75% of the attention and the follows are taught just enough to support them - until that is they are blamed for not following/shaping/moving etc etc enough. My current solution (expensive as it is) is to notfight this (since I want DP to improve of course) but to do pro/am at the same time. That way you get 100% attention for a full lesson.

What do other follows think of the above sentiment and strategy?

 

[etp777]

Wooh is a social dancer and darn proud of it.

I'm a lead who needs all the help I can get, and only do proam, so can't answer your other question.

 

[fascination]

regardless of dancing am and/or pro/am or socially (distinctions I generally disdain for the impending headache they always cause) I found it very important to take my own individual lessons when dh and I were also taking lessons as a couple because I understood and appreciated that we were going nowhere until a good amount of time was devoted to helping him figure out how to communicate the lead to me...

 

[elisedance]

Wooh is a social dancer and darn proud of it.

shoot, I know that - coffee hasn't kicked in (sorry Whooh - but the idea is still interesting I think)

 

[DanceMentor]

I think as long as you still appreciate your amateur partner, and grow in that partnership, you will be okay.

 

[TAK]

I think its quite normal that in a typical lesson the leads get ~75% of the attention and the follows are taught just enough to support them - until that is they are blamed for not following/shaping/moving etc etc enough.

I'm an am follow and have never taken lessons individually, although I don't doubt that it would help. I just thought your comment about the division of lesson time was interesting! My partner started out much stronger than I, and I am only just catching up, which I'm sure has made a difference...but even so we have found that coaches vary wildly in which one of us they spend the most time on. Most spend up to 75% of the time on me, which is probably because I am the weaker partner, but even so there are some who consistently spend a lot more time on my partner, and some are pretty even.

 

[tanya_the_dancer]

This is something that contributed to the demise of my am-am dancing with my husband. As a result of my individual lessons I became a stronger half, whereas in the beginning he was the stronger half. That caused a number of arguments, and in the end he said that it's no longer interesting for him to learn with me, because I am so much better. So you want to go into that territory with caution.

 

[wooh]

Well there's the division of time issue. And yep, leads do seem to get the majority of time in couple lessons. Which is fine, I get that. And so I used to take individual lessons to keep up with my husband (because he does learn this stuff easier than I do.) Then we took together, and I just worked harder than he did. Now we're taking individually and I'm learning to cope with an entire hour of everything I do wrong instead of 45 minutes of what he does wrong and 15 minutes of what I do wrong. Because I want an hour of what I do wrong. I'm just not prepared for the crushing blow to the ego of an hour of what I do wrong. But yay! Me time! Although now the guy I'm taking my individual lessons with wants to bring hoov in occasionally. And it's like NO! Then it will all be about hoov again! Nooooo!!!
My being in his shadow though is just because he's so much better than me. Choreography for our showcases is "what gymnastics can hoov do?" And don't get me started on how everything he does is adorable to our instructor and everything I do is, "Ummm, I just don't like that on you." Harumph. He's talented. I just work harder at it to keep relatively up. But it's like that for everything that requires a smidge of athleticism. But soon we'll be at my mom's, and she has a wii, and I will kick his bootie at Mario Kart!Mwuhahaha!

 

[JANATHOME]

As an AM we do both.. We take two lessons together a week, and then I take a priviate by myself and the following week he takes a priviate alone, so we take three lessons a week in total.

Usually the individual priviate is right before our lesson together so she takes what she taught either me or him seperately and then puts us back together focusing on what was taught in the indiviaul lesson. Works goods for us.

 

[cornutt]

I think its quite normal that in a typical lesson the leads get ~75% of the attention and the follows are taught just enough to support them

I don't know about the "just enough to support them" part, but I've found the general observation to be true: when a couple of similar skill levels takes a lesson together, the lead gets the majority of the instructor's attention. That's one reason my DW and I don't take lessons together anymore; she was getting frustrated, and I was feeling guilty about it. And yeah, it's great to get a whole hour of concentrated meeeeeee!

 

[etp777]

Jan, that sounds like a great way of doing it. Esp. having the ttwo lessons in a row. Kinda same idea as what I've started doing with coachings, where I'll setup another lesson right afterwards when possible so that pro and I can work on whatever coach taught during the coaching.

 

[Joe]

what gymnastics can hoov do?

Is your hubby named Hoover or something?

 

[WorksForShoes]

I can't remember - but do you do pro/am as well as dance with your DH? I think its quite normal that in a typical lesson the leads get ~75% of the attention and the follows are taught just enough to support them - until that is they are blamed for not following/shaping/moving etc etc enough. My current solution (expensive as it is) is to notfight this (since I want DP to improve of course) but to do pro/am at the same time. That way you get 100% attention for a full lesson.

I agree, ED. DH and I dance am/am, and I have done just a bit of pro/am. Our coaches are very good at working with the one of us with whom the most progress can be made at the moment; lately, that has been DH, but often it is me. I think there is a period where you have to work on foundation, which is the lead, and another where you work on styling, which is often the follow.

I think there is always a point at which I need to take a few solo privates in order to fix a few things in my own body without DH there. I'm at that point again right now since we just started standard (yeah!), but time and money are prohibitive (if you have one, you don't have the other). Sigh.

 

[elisedance]

I think as long as you still appreciate your amateur partner, and grow in that partnership, you will be okay.

That wasn't really the question DM - I'm not trying to see if I can do both but actually think it preferable (at least for me - obviously not everyone). But you are right with respect to keeping this up - you have to also do a bit of :roll: with your AM partner

 

[elisedance]

This is something that contributed to the demise of my am-am dancing with my husband. As a result of my individual lessons I became a stronger half, whereas in the beginning he was the stronger half. That caused a number of arguments, and in the end he said that it's no longer interesting for him to learn with me, because I am so much better. So you want to go into that territory with caution.

Thanks for that note TTD - not something I had really thought about. Was the issue purely about dance ability or were there other personal ones - I had a partner once who was threatened in a non-dance way by my learning...