Getting propositioned on the dance floor ...

[pygmalion]

Or in the club. Or in the studio. (For a conversation, a date or much more. Any of those counts.) Have you ever? How did you handle it? EM's want to know. :wink: 8)

 

[DancePoet]

Probably since I'm a guy, no dates offered from a woman met in the dancing community, yet.

And since I've been dancing for only a year, during which most of that time I was seeing a woman, there has not been any dates offered by me to anyone in the dancing community, yet. And that old situation certainly decreased the likelihood I'd be asked as well. (See, the healing process is in full swing when I use a word like "old". Yeehah!)

Unless you count the offer I made to Dancin_feet over on the "So What Shall We Talk About Thread".

 

[dancin_feet]

I was asked out by one guy at the studio, so I obliged and met him for coffee for an hour or so one Sunday afternoon. Next thing I know he's ringing me at home all the time (I was usually out at dancing) and at the next party a week later he was telling me that "we" should do this and "we" should do that. I had to tell him to back off, where did he get this "we" idea from?? Gave me the creeps after that.

On speaking to other women at the studio, I learnt that he had basically done the rounds of just about everyone. Someone mentioned it in passing to my instructor and he was contacted and asked to not come back. They are very protective of their female clientele.

 

[peachexploration]

Sure. And since it's mostly by strange people, my answer is always "No, thank you".

Here's a scenario:
Guy: Hi, how are you today?
Me: Good, how are you?
Guy: Listen, do you have a lot of friends here?
Me: Why?
Guy: I noticed you over here by yourself....
Me: Okay, well I have friends but not necessarily at the studio and am just ready for class to start.
Guy: Oh really?
Me: Yup.
Guy: You know why you don't have many friends here?
Me: Uh..not really but humor me.
Guy: The reason why you don't have friends here is because you smile to d@@n much.
Me: :shock: :shock: Lost for for words.
Guy: So, would you like to go have coffee later?
Me: NO! But thanks for asking. :?

I get alot of scenarios like these so I tend to keep it inside the dance box.

 

[Sagitta]

If you get propositioned for a conversation that is a date, isn't it? Anyway ladies keep those stories coming. Eager guys want to find out what works and what doesn't.

 

[dancin_feet]

Here's a scenario:
Guy: Hi, how are you today?
Me: Good, how are you?
Guy: Listen, do you have a lot of friends here?
Me: Why?
Guy: I noticed you over here by yourself....
Me: Okay, well I have friends but not necessarily at the studio and am just ready for class to start.
Guy: Oh really?
Me: Yup.
Guy: You know why you don't have many friends here?
Me: Uh..not really but humor me.
Guy: The reason why you don't have friends here is because you smile to d@@n much.
Me: :shock: :shock: Lost for for words.
Guy: So, would you like to go have coffee later?
Me: NO! But thanks for asking. :?

And he thought this was a good come on that would get you interested enough in him to go out? Telling you that you don't have many friends?

Geeze, some people just have no idea ...... :roll:

 

[peachexploration]

Right d_f, the absolute nerve of him. :? :roll:

 

[DancePoet]

Some guys just don't get it. Women need to feel secure, which certainly makes sense to me.

A guy doesn't get a date if he starts running around saying "we" should do anything. It's disrespectful and doesn't show an appreciation for the woman's view. All he needs to do is ask questions, instead of making assumptions.

And being insulting with a pick up line, like peach describes, well ... obviously not respectful there either. Rough jokes won't get a guy a date because the woman won't feel safe.

In fact it's best to stay away from jokes involving "guy" things, violence, physical appearance, and anything that's just plain uncreative. It's much better to smile, be complimentary, ask sincere questions getting to know her, listen to the answers, be romantic with your humor, and flirt with confidence, not arrogance.

A woman needs to trust a guy. A guy needs to show respect, be patient, be cooperative without being a doormat, and find ways to bring her joy.

Are there other things we guys need to know ladies, or do I have a pretty good handle on this? (See we guys need to be willing to learn, too!)

 

[SDsalsaguy]

(See we guys need to be willing to learn, too!)

What's this "we" stuff? :wink: :lol:

 

[dancin_feet]

I think you've just about got it DP! Make her feel safe and keep initial contact non threatening, while keeping your own personality. Especially in a dancing environment, close contact and holding each other is a regular occurance. Not abusing that and showing respect away from the studio pays big points as well.

 

[DancePoet]

SD, you can exclude yourself from us other guys if you'd like, but I suspect the consequences may not be to your liking.

 

[DancePoet]

Thank you Dancin_Feet!

Let me know if you find anything else for me to add to my current knowledge, and I'll be willing to listen.

 

[SDsalsaguy]

Nah, I was just entertained to see you using "we" in a thread that had already taken issue with "we," that's all! :lol:

 

[DancePoet]

Jonathan, I value our friendship, so I stayed away from a more insulting reply. Besides, I was hoping the "we" was used in two different contexts, but perhaps I was wrong.

So...what about more of those stories!

 

[SDsalsaguy]

Fair enough... it was in a different context. Oh well, nothing more for me to have fun with here at the moment then... :lol: :lol: ...off to search the other threads I guess...