getting walked to the car...

africana

africana

New Member
Last night was the first time it had ever felt it neccessary and prudential to ask a big tall salsero to walk us to the car!!

It was UNREAL having this homeless guy covered in grimey brown-dirt who had been watching and gesturing at me all night, quickly hop on his bike and chase after us as we left the club, yelling stuff and circling around us, up and down the street, around my car...
but thankfully we had a big threatening looking male with us so he didn't come close, and my friend stayed and watched till we got in and started the car whew!!

I'm still processing the event, it hasn't really registered yet, as I'm very unfamiliar with fear, and the experience of really being hounded by a strange male, I think was too shocked or confused to be scared.
This man had been watching the party (and me) all night, sitting on the big bay windows.
At one point after gesturing at us, he jumped through the window of the art gallery where the party was, and headed straight towards me. I quickly darted around and straight to the DJ booth, and started talking to the DJ, pretending I had meant to go talk to him. I told him not to bother with getting him kicked, that it wasn't a big deal (my mistake!) but I wasn't even sure if he meant harm, so I decided to ignore him. Until he chased us as we left!! even with a big male friend with us

WOW! I will add this place to my list of unsafe salsa venues, and I won't be so dam independent about getting walked to the car! cos a lot of salsa clubs are located in seedy and marginally-safe parts of the city...one more reason I prefer underground socials!
 
Glad to hear you're alright. All of those hot moves are bringing these guys out of the woodwork (or maybe it's the woods in this case) Be careful.
 
The problem is that we often worry that we'd be mistaken about the person, and "hurt their feelings". Don't. Hindsight is 20/20, and it goes without saying, but the next time- if there's one- Just get the guy kicked out. He'll know you mean business. By not doing anything, he thinks he "cowed" you. I'd rather have a human being pissed off at me than have other potentially dangerous and lethal complications arise. Paranoid? Maybe- but, then, I haven't washed up on a river bank, or come home in a matchbox, have I (knock on wood)? There may BE nothing to worry about from certain weirdos- but why take the chance?
 
O wise PasoDancer, please convince my sister of the importance of being cautious! Lord knows I've told her enough times, but she doesn't want to hear it from me. Someday she'll wise up, until then I'll try and stick with her and keep a tall salsero on hand.

Africana, be careful - take care of your self! Ain't nothin' wrong with have a hunky man walking you to the car, homeless man or no ;)
 
All it takes is "one good scare" to change your mind about a LOT of stuff. If it weren't "cruel and unusual", and human nature were predictable, I'd say set your nonchalant sister up with something under the guise of "april fool" so you can say it was "in good fun".

I told the ex a million times "PLEASE watch out when you back your (big, ugly, rusted-out, redneck piece of crap) truck up! I don't want you to hit my cat!" He would gun it and spin the tires, just to be "funny" (read that "assert male dominance because peeing on my leg wasn't an option).

I put a stuffed, lifelike cat behind one back tire (moron never thought to look, either), and a cardboard box behind the other, for a "sound effect".

When he "hit the cat" and he saw me running toward him, red-faced and ready to claw out his eyes, he got the point.

And alas- all the training for nothing. A few weeks later, he got the boot...

... for a man who would some day become my dance partner, I might add.
 
When I go to clubs I go with large groups, we always have at least one car and usuallythere are males in the company. Since I'm the youngest, I'm always taken care of. It's really cute but also necessary if you stop and think about it. Even after practice parties (my ballroom studio is two minutes away on foot) they insist on driving me home and waiting to see me get in.
It's better to have to drop the feminist act and get walked to your car/home than to get mugged/raped/assaulted on your way back home.

T_E
 
Wow...good thing you had someone walk you back to your car. I've heard of and know too many people getting mugged or raped because they feel like they're tough enough to go at it alone. I used to be the door guy at a bar in the downtown area where I live. I would always walk the waitresess back to their cars in case something happens. But I was mugged at knifepoint twice walking back to my car alone. So it just goes to show you not onlyt women are affected by pychos in the dark alleys. Better safe than sorry right? Good luck next time you go out.
 
I think i just had a really abnormal weekend, lastnight included. i had gone out again to "support" a DJ friend's new salsa event...
it seems even actively avoiding some people doesn't work!
I was greeting a friend and telling her not to look at this man who had been trying to get my att. since I came in, and after about five mins of starring (while I was purposely having a lonnng conversation with this girl) he came over to the couch and sat opposite us, leaning in, waiting to be acknowledged? I refused to look at him. he then puts out his hand to introduce himself to her, and then to me (like he'd never seen me before?? he has! and i now avoid him after the excessive compliments on appearance/dancing). Anyway I just said "no please, I'm really tired, 've had enough for one weekend..." I was really firm! didn't quite work. Throughout the night he repeated the same behavior, of sitting in my line of sight and starring! I just kept moving around and away, hiding amongst 'normal' people. my friends were amused hmmm!
And funny thing is this man looks "normal" too except for his behavior. at one point I was dancing a cha cha cha and i saw him quickly come to the DF eyes wide, i got a little jittery and decided it was time to go home after that dance

there was another strange touchy-feely lady at the bar but at least I could take her out if I needed to LOL

but what a strange weekend

maybe people just need human contact but don't know how to get it (legally) without coming off as pycho??
anyway I think it's time I invested in a can of mace
 
Twilight_Elena said:
It's better to have to drop the feminist act and get walked to your car/home than to get mugged/raped/assaulted on your way back home.
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I'm about as feminist as a hetero man can get :lol: but I will always offer to walk my female friends to their parking spaces. It's just a fact that men (on average) are bigger and stronger than women (on average), so there's no use in putting up some unnecessary bravado about walking by yourself. Plus, as Tony Salvi pointed out, even men can be the targets of assaults, especially in major cities (like the one in which I live).

I'm a tall man, and I have absolutely no problem if a woman asks me to escort her to her car, and I don't think any less of her for doing so. I think a lot of guys feel the same way.
 
englezul said:
Get a stun gun they're $25-30 for 100 000 Volts. You can use it when in need, or you can use it just for fun ^^.
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Maybe you can use that stun gun to keep undesirable leads away?
At least they won't ask again ;)
 
Oh my gosh! Well, I was stalked by one of our students at school that had asked me out and I said no (it was policy and I so was not interested). Little did he know that I was involved with the Police Department and knew exactly who to go to when I needed help. To make a long story short, the guy stalked me and made up stories as to which the teachers would have to walk me out at night. I sent e-mails to one of the officers any time something would happen. He told me to talk to another friend of mine that's an officer on the part of town that we were on, as to which I told him over the phone that I had done a background check over the Internet about this guy, and that he had a probation officer. Well, my police officer friend did the rest. The guy had to drop out of school, and I'm sure to this date he was told to stay far away from me.

However, in the mean time, my police officer friends told me to get a stun gun and pepper spray. They said that if I couldn't get that myself that they would get the items for me. Let me tell you that pepper spray works! I was curious about it, so I sprayed some into my sink. Ok, yeah... don't ever do that. The spray comes up from the sink into your face, and you won't be able to taste and see anything all night lol. It was the worst. Needless to say everyone laughed at me for doing that, but I was curious though. It works! Buy some!!! Carry it with you at all times no matter what!!! Oh yeah unless you go into a government building. They don't like those type of things lol.
 
Big10 said:
I'm about as feminist as a hetero man can get :lol: but I will always offer to walk my female friends to their parking spaces. It's just a fact that men (on average) are bigger and stronger than women (on average), so there's no use in putting up some unnecessary bravado about walking by yourself. Plus, as Tony Salvi pointed out, even men can be the targets of assaults, especially in major cities (like the one in which I live).

I'm a tall man, and I have absolutely no problem if a woman asks me to escort her to her car, and I don't think any less of her for doing so. I think a lot of guys feel the same way.
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yeah that's the problem though, I've always been confident in the ability of my tall athletic build to deter any preyers, and it has worked for years, people always assume I play some sort of serious sport in (tennis, basketball ---i get quizzed on those alot..) plus a little bit of that "pissed" look here n there works wonders, usually :rolleyes:
I've always felt sorry for my petite friends who are constantly pestered because they look harmless and are easy prey, due to their small cutesy size hahaa. I guess now i'm realizing it doesn't always work that way!!

Spratt where did you get your pepper spray? I'm not even sure where to look. want something small enough for keychains

haha@ stun gun hmm :raisebro: i think that'll make me a lil too happy LOL
 
africana said:
yeah that's the problem though, I've always been confident in the ability of my tall athletic build to deter any preyers, and it has worked for years, people always assume I play some sort of serious sport in (tennis, basketball ---i get quizzed on those alot..) plus a little bit of that "pissed" look here n there works wonders, usually :rolleyes:
I've always felt sorry for my petite friends who are constantly pestered because they look harmless and are easy prey, due to their small cutesy size hahaa. I guess now i'm realizing it doesn't always work that way!!

Spratt where did you get your pepper spray? I'm not even sure where to look. want something small enough for keychains

haha@ stun gun hmm :raisebro: i think that'll make me a lil too happy LOL
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I got my pepper spray at a local shop that sold weapons. I was scared to walk in there of course lol, but the guys helped me out big time. They even showed me other stuff that I could buy later if I needed to. However, sometimes you can't buy this stuff, because sometimes they'll only allow the police officers to buy some. If that's the case, then contact your police department. But I would try a weapons stores first. You might want to call ahead of time to make sure, but it would be worth a shot!

*Oh had to edit quickly to say that I bought one for my house which is a bottle, and one for my key chain. Again, if I am inside a government building (which I have to be in sometimes), then I take the pepper spray off my key chain.
 
Let me tell you that pepper spray works! I was curious about it, so I sprayed some into my sink. Ok, yeah... don't ever do that. The spray comes up from the sink into your face, and you won't be able to taste and see anything all night lol.
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LOL. What were you thinking? At least you got to taste the other side of it and will be confident in the results.
 
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