My two cents, as a follower who dearly loves a good leader:
All the books and videos in the world can't teach you how to lead. Books and videos can help you learn to execute figures, but leading happens in the mind *and* body.
You can study books and videos until the cows come home. They will not teach you to feel the sweet spot when you change from completing a hesitation to leading a double reverse spin.
An excellent teacher who is also an excellent leader may be able to teach you how to lead.
If you can, take private lessons from a teacher who is expert in leading and is willing to share his* version of the arcane art of leading -- if you can find one.
You need to find an excellent teacher FOR YOU, which is not the same for everyone.
Oh -- also, open your mind to what he has to share. It may not be anything like what's in the books and videos you'll be using as a crutch in the meantime.
*most likely a man, although I have danced with one leader who Larinda taught. He's an awesome leader, so I include her in the "teacher who is expert in leading" category.
(it was a blast, following him, btw; thank you, Larinda, on behalf of the ladies who get to dance with him).