Growing Old in Tango

[tangoing]

For NYC, the age demographics from my experience is something like:

55-65% late 50s+
25-30% late 30s-early 50s
10-15% 20s-mid 30s

I dance with everyone though but like Robin says prefer people my own age. I think dancing with strangers that are in the first group of late 50s and up there is a much wider range of skill and extremes. As in someone could be dancing for 20+ years or have just started a year ago. Also to go along with it a wider range of base line mobility — for example, for the younger demographic even if they’re inexperienced, the majority of the time their actual physical mobility will be fine whereas with the older population a lot may have limited mobility in terms of tightness and step sizes and just fragility to the point where I will have to dance defensively. So for me dancing with an unknown older follower is a much bigger gamble in terms of what to expect.

 

[itwillhappen]

I see it as professional how Melina Sedó explained the topic from different perspectives, without digressing or falling into useless laments. For me personally it's not a big deal; when I look around, the dance partners of mutual interest are usually in the range of +10 to -15 years. I think this is socially normal and if I stay healthy I can keep it up for a long time.

 

[pianistamediano]

I see it as professional how Melina Sedó explained the topic from different perspectives, without digressing or falling into useless laments. For me personally it's not a big deal; when I look around, the dance partners of mutual interest are usually in the range of +10 to -15 years. I think this is socially normal and if I stay healthy I can keep it up for a long time.

She's already written multiple excellent (if just a tad lament-y, but I could be reading too much into that) blog posts about ageism in tango over a decade ago, so she's had plenty of time to make her peace with it.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

You don't get there through experience, not through years or miles on the dance floor!

Not through miles alone, no. As has been said repeatedly, you can start out not knowing anything and continue not knowing anything for twenty years. Time alone is unimportant and bad habits die hard.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

He was arguing that we shouldn't be surprised that young people want to dance with partners their own age, and I think that makes more sense in that context – namely that in a typical milonga students would be finding people their grandparents' age,

Mostly they attend milongas attended by people closer to their own age bracket and simply avoid the milongas that attract an older crowd. So, there's not much mixing. And they tend to travel in groups to other milongas so they can still dance with their peers. The local scene has calcified in that respect.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

If one person thinks they are superior, either because they are younger and supposedly more athletic, or because they are older and supposedly wiser, and they aren't willing to acknowledge that the other person may have something to show them worth listening to, then it falls apart.

True, indeed. I think tango is all about listening--to the music primarily but also to your partner. In that sense age is irrelevant.

 

[Bailango]

For NYC, the age demographics from my experience is something like:

55-65% late 50s+
25-30% late 30s-early 50s
10-15% 20s-mid 30s

This is based on milongas you frequent most?

For a city like NYC I am surprised by the distribution. My expectation is most percentage would be late 30s to mid 50s. Or at the least it will be equal but not less than 55+

 

[Bailango]

She's already written multiple excellent (if just a tad lament-y, but I could be reading too much into that) blog posts about ageism in tango over a decade ago, so she's had plenty of time to make her peace with it.

Did I hear her right that she is 80? I am sure I misheard it because she looks more like early 60s at the most.

She did say she gets more dances as a follower now than when she was younger. Interesting experience as a leader where she says most follows to dance with men leaders. That is not surprising to me. I maintain that if we ever reach equilibrium in same gender dancing then Tango as we know it will lose its character. It will then become tango-like that attracts a certain demographics that doesn’t mind primary dancing with same gender partner. It will diminish the opposite who have got into tango until now. Dancing a few tandas with a same gender partner during a milonga is very different from dancing majority of tandas with the same gender partner.

 

[Bailango]

Mostly they attend milongas attended by people closer to their own age bracket and simply avoid the milongas that attract an older crowd. So, there's not much mixing. And they tend to travel in groups to other milongas so they can still dance with their peers. The local scene has calcified in that respect.

Most our milongas are dominated by late 30s to late 50s/early 60s.

There are only a few Milongas that skew either younger or older than that. When I have been to one where it skews older (60+ making 90% of the dancers) the quality of dancing is low. The same when I attend one that skew younger (20s and 30s), the quality is lower. Both age skewed milongas attract more percentage of newer or those whose dancing skills is well below median.

At the regular milongas where the age distribution is normal for the area, both the younger and older dancers it attracts are good. Perhaps there is also an element of self selection at play. The less skill dancers at either age end find more comfort in milonga within their age group.

My experience is that the older followers tend to definitely more friendlier than the younger ones. I can’t tell whether this generational difference is to be attributed to the age or change in times. My strong bet is that it is the changing times. There is more skepticism and less openness in society. The dating coaches say the same. People have less social skills of engaging a person of interest in real world due to online dating apps. People used to be more friendlier 20 years back than now. But then we have also added 20 years to our ages.

 

[Bailango]

Not through miles alone, no. As has been said repeatedly, you can start out not knowing anything and continue not knowing anything for twenty years. Time alone is unimportant and bad habits die hard.

Attitude towards learning and wanting to be better has far less to do with the age. It has to do with the personality that defines make up of a person. In dancing that drive is more important than the age. Once the drive exists younger age could be an advantage due to physical dexterity and mobility. At the highest levels in the sports we always see that the good and great players past the prime age (after mid thirties), able to compete on equal footing with younger gifted or good athletes in twenties. A step or two they lose in athleticism due to age is compensated by the experience and situational awareness.

 

[Bailango]

True, indeed. I think tango partner dancing is all about listening--to the music primarily but also to your partner. In that sense age is irrelevant.

Fixed

 

[tangoing]

This is based on milongas you frequent most?

For a city like NYC I am surprised by the distribution. My expectation is most percentage would be late 30s to mid 50s. Or at the least it will be equal but not less than 55+

Milongas/Practicas/Classes/Workshops and also asking teachers about it.
The milongas I go to are probably the ones with the most late 30s to mid 50s (and many instructors fit in that age range as well). I think early to mid 50s is actually the average for a lot of followers I dance with right now.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

This is based on milongas you frequent most?

For a city like NYC I am surprised by the distribution. My expectation is most percentage would be late 30s to mid 50s. Or at the least it will be equal but not less than 55+

I think this would be for the entire tango population in the city. The mix at individual milongas will vary.

 

[Miradamiranda]

I do enjoy dancing with people of all ages, there are many kind, respectful, and considerate older dancers out there, and there are also younger dancers I don't enjoy dancing with (yet), but dancing with someone your own age is different. I don't think it's about romance, I think it's about the balance of power and neither person feeling intimidated. You feel a type of camaraderie with your partner which is harder to find with someone of a different generation.

Where I dance, all age groups are represented, including teenagers, but it skews older as it’s a popular retirement destination and an expensive area to live. I gladly dance with any age group or gender, but the vast majority of repeat partners are in the early 50s to early 70s range, myself being a woman in my mid 50s. Even though finding a real-life partner or seeking to seduce might not be on my partners’ agenda (and certainly not my own), the typical eligibility age-range does matter for many, as those aspects are likely either subconscious or simply a fantasy for many. I am not bothered by that, to be honest, and frankly find it flattering when guys even 15 years younger than myself still show enthusiasm about dancing with me. But I don’t actively seek out the handsome young men. I’m more likely to cabeceo the ugly and/or the old guys if I think they have something to offer in the dance that’s actually about the dance. Quite a few of the guys I regularly dance with in the older age group have several decades of experience. When they seek me out, that’s even more flattering to my dance ego than some handsome younger guy (equivalent to a PYT) flattering my womanhood ego (or in case of doubt, misjudging my age).

I agree the camaraderie plays a role. Even if there’s maybe only small talk between tandas, someone our own age groups might be easier to communicate with, and that plays a role.

 

[opendoor]

Sorry for my age and my distance from the zeitgeist. But what is a PYT? Is that a so-called tango gazelle?