Handling rejection from a rude person

[MapleLeaf Salsero]

I have been dancing off and on for over ten years. I'm a great dancer. What I don't know I learn quick and I can follow almost anything! I have recently been away from dancing for 3 years as I had a baby. I am back now but am no longer as slender as I once was. I am by no means large, but I am not wearing skin revealing clothes anymore. I'm sure after a few months of regular instruction and social dancing, I'll be back to glory days size, but I have found that I am not asked to dance very much. Being totally honest, does size matter? I am on the east coast of Florida, but not Miami! Is it just that I don't know anyone or is it my curves? :cry:
Bolero Baby

I would have to agree with Pygmalion. ASK the guys to dance! The great majority of the men will indeed dance with you.

Three years is a long time to be away from the dance scene. Most people you knew have dropped out or disappeared. Your face is not familiar at the clubs. Guys won´t ask you mainly because of two reasons:

a) think that you can´t dance
b) feel there´s a big risk of rejection

It has NOTHING to do with your curves (except for maybe a handful of the guys; don´t worry about those). In order to break the ice you have to ask the guys.

 

[Vince A]

I personally do not know any women who is too shy or too embarrased to ask a man to dance at a dance . . . . . . . . . .

 

[tsb]

I personally do not know any women who is too shy or too embarrased to ask a man to dance at a dance . . . . . . . . . .

i have some female friends who are a bit more genteel in their thinking & they've told me that they're just not comfortable asking, so it's understood that when they come & sit down next to me and don't say anything they're waiting for me to ask them. and i do. it's kinda cute actually. if only they had a handkerchief to drop in front of me... is there an old latin cultural equivalent?

 

[cupojoe2]

Bolero Baby wrote

b) feel there´s a big risk of rejection

As a guy, I may be breaking the code here, but I am amazed how much most of us are terrified by the thought of rejection and how many good things we miss in life because of it.

It is like many of us would rather sit out every dance or stay home every night instead of facing the possibility of being told “no.”

Well, even though I am not Catholic, I have decided to give up this silly fear for Lent.

I must confess that this is a little scary for me – since I am really a Newbie and at the few dances I have attended, I have always waited for the woman to ask me to dance.

So if this weekend, someone asks you to dance in the clumsiest way imaginable, be gentle it just may be me.

 

[Kitty]

I must confess that this is a little scary for me – since I am really a Newbie and at the few dances I have attended, I have always waited for the woman to ask me to dance.

So if this weekend, someone asks you to dance in the clumsiest way imaginable, be gentle it just may be me.

You are so cuuute! :kissme:

 

[danceguy]

Hi Joe,

It is pretty intimidating at first as a new leader...and the more you ask the ladies the more you face the possibility of rejection. But it does get easier...just think of it as how you handle asking a girl out for a date.

When I first starting dating, if a girl turned me down I'd be depressed about it for quite a while These days, it hardly bothers me at all...so the only way to get better is to keep on asking and you may be surprised how many women will say yes!

I don't handle the rejections well myself...as I love to dance and it really stinks when you have to sit out because there's a shortage of women. Just keep on going...eventually you'll be there on a night when there's a shortage of men...and then the night is yours.

SG

 

[MacMoto]

I don't handle the rejections well myself...as I love to dance and it really stinks when you have to sit out because there's a shortage of women.

You have places where there's a shortage of women!? :shock: I think I'll move to your city... and you know, I never say no when asked to dance.

 

[Vince A]

Hi Joe,
It is pretty intimidating at first as a new leader...and the more you ask the ladies the more you face the possibility of rejection.

But think about that for a moment . . .
If you asked a hundred women to dance in one night, and you received 50% rejections . . . that's still 50 more women than you would have had if you did not ask . . . plus the fact, that dancing with those 50 women would have put you on the floor more . . . and that is what is known as "floor time." Floor time is one of the very best ways to get better at dancing!

So, put out your hand and ask her to dance . . . TO DANCE . . . you're not asking to marry her . . . just to dance!