How Are Your Lessons Going? Thread 3

[Misspendragon]

Oh irony. When I was a kid, my family used to say "so you can dish it out but you can't take it". (Yes, we had a lot of, err, discussions that led to this observation).

Let's maintain good faith here and assume that Pro has good intentions and isn't a hypocrite. My guess is, she simply tried to follow studio manager's advice and was unaware that her student responds negatively to the more focused and/or tougher approach, especially since it isn't aligned with DoWrongRight's primary goals. Based on what I've read, I'm cautiously optimistic that an open, honest, and mutually respectful conversation will solve the problem. This conflict is more about goal setting than anything else, I think.

 

[RiseNFall]

@DoWrongRight, I am so sorry this is happening. I also feel bad for your teacher, though she’s playing her role with you a bit more than she absolutely has to. If I were the teacher, I would be on the verge of bursting into tears most of the time.

You might consider dropping back to one lesson per week and taking more classes—why spend your money when the experience is unpleasant?? I would also be clear about how you are reacting to each of her statements. “I don’t believe your compliment after you were so negative before.” “Please stop interrupting me: I do not find it acceptable.” It MIGHT help her find a way to satisfy the studio manager without ruining your experience.

I agree with everyone else who suggested talking to the studio manager making sure he understands what the consequences will be if this continues. I’m usually dead set against talking about grievances with other students, but if you get the feeling that other students are also unhappy, it might help for the studio manager to hear about it from more than one person.

Personally, though, it sounds like the studio manager is a little nuts and, sadly, you might want to start exploring other options.

Once again, really sorry that your formally happy place is being destroyed.

 

[raindance]

Let's maintain good faith here and assume that Pro has good intentions and isn't a hypocrite. My guess is, she simply tried to follow studio manager's advice and was unaware that her student responds negatively to the more focused and/or tougher approach, especially since it isn't aligned with DoWrongRight's primary goals. Based on what I've read, I'm cautiously optimistic that an open, honest, and mutually respectful conversation will solve the problem. This conflict is more about goal setting than anything else, I think.

I also wonder if maybe DoWrongRight's instructor is a good fit for him, but a poor fit for the studio and that manager. Seems like anytime the manager tries to micromanage the instructor's teaching style, no one is happy. It sounds like the instructor is more natural with the fun, light lessons that DoWrongRight enjoys, and she's probably not enjoying attempting to be strict.

Who knows why the manager doesn't want her to have light, fun lessons with her happy students. Maybe the manager just likes everything serious. Or maybe manager has personal problems and resents seeing others happy, who knows. But perhaps talking to manager (with instructor there, as others have suggested) will get him to back off of the instructor and let her get back to the lessons DoWrongRight enjoys.

As for the weight stuff - yes, be aware that the dance world is a mess in this regard. People are going to bring it up. But it's totally, completely inappropriate for students that are dancing for fun! Body shaming may be part of dancesport, but there is no need for it to be part of hobby dancing. If I were DoWrongRight, I'd set a bright red hard line about that, unless he's OK with dealing with the comments as they come. Hobby dancing is about having fun and feeling good about yourself - it's not boot camp, unless you have sought that and want that. Sure, if you're complaining you get tired before the end of a song, the instructor can discuss ways to improve stamina (dance more, take up jogging, whatever), and you can take the suggestions, or not. But giving you unsolicited diet or weight loss advice, or commenting that you'd look better on the floor if you lost weight is just not OK. Really.

Nice to have you back, DoWrongRight! I hope things work out and dance becomes fun for you again.

 

[DoWrongRight]

Totally understood, profits (prophets?) are down, but I've got several packages of solo cups here waiting in the wings so I.WANT.THE.SMOKE. We just have to get the good smoke back. #stirspot

(If I took this in the wrong direction, please pretend it didn't happen)

EXACTLY!!! SPOT ON!

I do hope things get better. It seems like your studio keeps having these weird identity crises (because I recall something like this happened before). Are they a fun play studio or a bootcamp comp studio, or both depending on the student? They can't seem to decide, and they're awkwardly stumbling through the self-discovery process.

YES. This is exactly it. During my time at the studio I have seen it go back and forth on the fun,play side to the bootcamp comp side, at least 4 times. I don't know what the management is doing or thinking. Maybe the results don't come as fast with a relaxed approach overall, but slow results are better than "take this place and shove it" results.

 

[Emily_E]

I guess I might as well jump in. I signed up to this forum a few years ago and posted a few times and took a break for a bit because everything was on fire. My studio at the time was a former franchise studio, and it became progressively and rapidly clear that they were interested in playing many toxic games that certain kinds studios like to engage in, plus a few of their own innovation - including their willingness to police social media of students I stopped posting. Not long after I shifted to an evolving collection of independent pros, and since I was interested in teaching myself, most of these lessons include a component of teacher training.

I had 3 lessons this week, one with my Primary Pro - in which we worked on Open Right Turns in silver Waltz, (after more years than I want to discuss, I have also finally, for the last time, started Silver smooth). Heel Turns are the main new thing that I am feeling thwarted by. My Secret Female Pro and I have also been working on Silver Waltz, and we worked on Open Right Turns, and reviewed Open Left Boxes, and added in the silver version of Face to Face/Back to Back, as well as Chair and Slip Pivots. My third lesson was with Showdance Pro, and we worked on footwork and developing more power to use in the Tango routine we're working on. I was hoping the routine would be ready for a studio showcase in a few weeks (either that or a VW routine with one of my students), but the clock is ticking and progress isn't, so that may not be in the cards.

I didn't mean to interrupt the conversation on DoWrongRIght's lessons though, but I can definitely sympathize with studios telling teachers how and what to teach leading to more frustration than good. The Former Studio policed pretty heavily what teachers could teach and how they teach, to the point that my teacher their got verbally accosted when another teacher saw us working on Silver figures in ECS (despite the fact that I already knew those figures when I arrived - it turned out they were in an especially open minded mood when I showed up initially because the pandemic had forced them into a very different mode of operation, as that passed, old ways returned). My independent teachers don't have bosses, and while there are days when it might be helpful if they did, what you see is what you get - so if they are too playful/fun/chatty, it's on me sometimes to push us back on task, or more likely, push me back on task. Most of them also have enough experience that they adapt their teaching style to what works best for the student. It's a shame the studio manager is pushing for a one-size-fits-all approach in your case. (My $0.02, worth what you paid for it.)

 

[joy]

including their willingness to police social media of students I stopped posting

Wow.

Open Right Turns

The work for this is never-ending so beautiful when done almost perfectly.

 

[Emily_E]

Wow.

This is the polite version of what happened. I don't know that they know about this place, but they definitely know about instagram. As much as I want to contribute to helping any future readers understand things to stay away from, I don't want to elaborate more in public.

The work for this is never-ending so beautiful when done almost perfectly.

Oh, I understand and agree entirely. Some of my students haven't figured out that my lessons I take are often so much more basic than what they might think. For that Tango lesson, we did the basic, and promenade turning left For. The. Whole. Lesson. (and really only added the promenade in the last 5 minutes). Personally, I like the Zen proverb - "Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water." to describe how moving up often seems to work.

 

[ProgressNotPerfection]

Pro & I worked on showcase this week. That’s all we’ll be doing until the performance. (Hmm. That’s all we’ve BEEN doing for the last 3 months, except for a handful of lessons in rhythm.) He simplified a section previously involving a lot of turns/spins, because my dizziness when we finished that part had become so consistent and so severe that I couldn’t finish dancing the rest of the number. I was literally crumpling to the floor and landing on my rear (although another student kindly told me it was very graceful crumpling). The mirrors and floor and ceiling were all out of focus and spinning. A couple times Pro tried to push/help/support me through it, but when it started happening every time, he said “I think we need to go to Plan B and rewrite that section.”

(It only happens when I do multiple spins to the right while we’re also moving clockwise.)

It’s still cute choreo, though, even with the latest change.

 

[scullystwin42]

In person lessons today! Lots of work on swivels. We worked on the last half of the open cha cha routine, clarifying steps, timing, actions. And then swivels. Then more swivels with secret pro!

My hips and legs are worn out again!!!

 

[Misspendragon]

“I think we need to go to Plan B and rewrite that section.”

Yes, definitely change the routine. But I'm still rather concerned about your dizziness. Go to a doctor. Please.

 

[joy]

Go to a doctor. Please.

Agree.

 

[Tracy]

My lessons lately have been reviewing all my routines (14 of them) to see what parts are not working as well and working together to figure out why and what to do about it. I feel like all my routines are now in need of serious practice but that's ok since I don't have a comp super close.

Today is the 4th anniversary of my first lesson after my teacher and I left our former studio and he started his own studio so...YAY!!

 

[Tracy]

I agree. The deportation joke was wrong on multiple levels.

So so wrong! This hit home for me! There are so many stories in our community about drama like this and reality of conflicts escalating to actual action that this is not a joke at all!

 

[True Bliss]

Pro & I worked on showcase this week. That’s all we’ll be doing until the performance. (Hmm. That’s all we’ve BEEN doing for the last 3 months, except for a handful of lessons in rhythm.) He simplified a section previously involving a lot of turns/spins, because my dizziness when we finished that part had become so consistent and so severe that I couldn’t finish dancing the rest of the number. I was literally crumpling to the floor and landing on my rear (although another student kindly told me it was very graceful crumpling). The mirrors and floor and ceiling were all out of focus and spinning. A couple times Pro tried to push/help/support me through it, but when it started happening every time, he said “I think we need to go to Plan B and rewrite that section.”

(It only happens when I do multiple spins to the right while we’re also moving clockwise.)

It’s still cute choreo, though, even with the latest change.

PNP - You may already know this tip but it has really helped me with dizziness in spins. My pro told me to keep my focus up and as far away as I could so I try to focus on where the walls meet the ceiling. Theory being that as you're focus is farther away your perception of the turn/movement is smaller. I'm probably not explaining it very well.

 

[Cal]

My first hour of lessons yesterday was with Pro2, with me as Standard Lead. In Waltz we worked on the Hinge and options for exits. In Tango, we also worked on the Hinge, and then re-visited the Chase and in particular the transition into the 4th step (the cut-off step). Then in Foxtrot, I’m muddling together the various endings to the Twist Turn, so Pro2 clarified that.

My second hour was with Pro1, and we started with What-do-I-remember-about Rumba. Pro 1 led Silver, and it went fine. Then I led Gold, which was messy because we couldn’t remember the order of the figures in the routine, and I was really fuzzy about some of the hand changes. BUT, Pro 1 said that my timing and Latin actions was solid, and our connection was quite consistent. So, I’ll take it!

Then Pro1 and I reviewed our WDSF VWaltz choreography. We switched to Waltz and worked on one spot where I’m not using my head changes consistently. And then I asked Pro1 about the Hinge, with me as Follow. On youtube videos, I’d seen some Follows close their feet on the second step, and other Follows (Karen Hilton) who place their left foot slightly behind - so, I wanted to see if I could “feel” the difference. After testing it out, I’m definitely in the Hilton camp.