How beneficial is a regular partner?

[Nathan]

Your middle two paragraphs were what I was trying to say too: this should probably be a thread in its own right (and it’s been touched upon a fair bit) but I find partner-familiarity and TA-dancing-quality to be mutually-antagonistic... music that I know and feel danced with a blank slate as a partner – if I know that her dog has a bowel complaint, that she watches TV and likes mushrooms etc, then that will get in the way of the pure expression of the music... and by the same token, if I know that she loves philosophy and painting, I will find it harder to find the necessary (for the dance) emotional detachment.

Maybe that’s just me (and is unique to TA, for me).

I find that to be a slightly peculiar attitude! For me, when I dance tango, it's not simply about the expression of the music, but also about the connection I feel with my partner. Through that connection we are able to negotiate our interpretation of the music together, with the end result being something unique and special, different from what either one of us could have produced alone. Intentionally creating emotional distance seems like it would sabotage this process, and very possibly impose limits on the quality of the dancing itself.

I find that learning details about the person I'm dancing with allows me to make it a personal experience, rather than just a mechanical series of movements done to a complex metronome. In any case, to a certain extent, it's unavoidable: as soon as you start interacting with someone, you are learning all kinds of details about them, everything from their physical appearance to their moods, even their personality... and that's without them ever having to say a word.

Anyway, I could be wrong. These are just my musings on the subject.

 

[v22TTC]

Nathan: I pretty much agree with you - I suppose it's down to me being unclear again [I seem to have a real blind-spot in using words to communicate TA concepts...].

My partners and myself always seem to develop profound emotional connections, since we express the music - which is profoundly emotional. Since the dancing body doesn't lie (at least at our skill level), there is a fundamental honesty to the communication, and I value honesty above all else.

There's far less honesty in the non-dancefloor forms of communication, so when dancing with someone who I know a bit about, there's always that dissonance between the personae revealed by the two different forms of communication; and I find that jarring and distracting on the dancefloor, which has an extremely detrimental effect upon the quality of the dance (maybe as my proficiency increases, I won't be quite so all or nothing...).

In addition, if you're mutual-ciphers, you won't be stumbling over the baggage that should have been left by the table (or better, at the door).

And familiarity does breed contempt, whatever anyone says.

You can invest more in a blank piece of paper (as you perceive it) than a piece of paper half-covered with words (many of which you probably won't like, and some of which you may like too much).

It's kind of the 'mysterious stranger' mentioned a fair amount in TA, but carried to the nth.... It does seem to work really well by the way (for both myself and my partners - unless they're lying <wink>...) probably it sounds all cold and stand-offish but it produces the exact opposite effect: on the dancefloor (which is what I (almost?) exclusively care about at a milonga).

[Wouldn't try it with a 'warm and friendly' dance like Salsa, since it has the opposite effect there. It works for TA because TA's... something else....]

 

[Zoopsia59]

[I suspect that I'm probably not supposed to use the quote function (and definitely not smilies) as a newcomer here - for perfectly understandable reasons - so I'll do my best without.

Zoopsia: Cheers for clarifying what I was on about [and by the way - a piece of technique-advice you gave Mario in an old post totally slammed me through one of my main barriers the other day; so I'm profoundly grateful (as were my partners) <smile>]..

I don't know why the quotes and smilies features won't work for you... I don't think it has anything to do with being a newbie... maybe a moderator can help you out.

Thanks for letting me know that my suggestions on another thread helped you. It's always good to have feedback to know if I'm making sense or just talking through my hat. Which post was it?

Glad you've joined us... don't know if I ever actually welcomed you, so I'm doing it now.

 

[v22TTC]

Zoopsia: Thanks for the welcome <Big Smile!>

Not sure how much the Moderators would want me to say about the newb-limited-functionality, but it's been discussed by pm - again, it's for perfectly understandable reasons (and was explained very nicely).

I tend to read the old threads in monolithic blocks until my eyes start to bleed, so I can't find that particular post that I benefited from (and, in fact there have been many others, in addition to that specific one)... you mentioned a fundamental mechanical principle that is in operation in a giro (maybe a molinete specifically?..) that I'd missed, that affects balance and momentum (and therefore what both people's feet should be doing and where the weight should be).

I'm mindful of another thread about the 'three' types of learners, where you mentioned that you'd add intellectual/analytical to the list: it's nice to know that at least one person who teaches is aware that such people exist <eye-roll> and can explain things accordingly, cheers!

 

[newbie]

<==

the quotes and smilies ... I don't think it has anything to do with being a newbie...

 

[jfm]

I'm confused about why one would think that if having a practice arrangement didn't work out it would involve her attempting to "nuke your life if she wants (and one has – though not with Tango, thank goodness!), and that the local TA scene is nowhere near big enough to divvy up should it All Go Horribly Wrong,".
If that's what you're worried about it's unlikely, unless you are assuming she wants more than dancing?

 

[v22TTC]

jfm: Just for the record, I'm not assuming that, no.

As to the other thing... well the events of the last few years have left me without much faith in 'unlikely'....