How do you avoid dancing with someone too much?

I agree with all the suggestions about being transparent and polite ("Thanks, but I was hoping to ask that lady over there; I'll try to catch you later," and then do so). As tactful as I try to be, though, sometimes I am too flustered to respond with any such eloquence when a leader will accost me before I've stepped off the dance floor. On those occasions, I harbour no guilt after responding with a simple "No, thank you." I've yet to encounter someone who would demand to know why. :)
 
Rejecting a ladies advances? :eek:

That's what diaries were invented for ;)

FD "I'll book you in my love"
ED "But I'm Elisedance you fruitcake"
FD "What what what! Yes, we dance now."
ED Hits FD with handbag "I should think so too... and after we have dinner on your card - and if you use a calculator I'll hang you out to dry on a big abacus :D"
FD *Gulp*
 
mamboqueen said:
the dress looks fab, BM! Any close-ups?

/hijack
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<hijack>Thank you! Not too many - I have every pic I know of posted on Facebook, but no great-close-ups. I'm wearing it again at Commonwealth, so hopefully I'll get a few more (and better) ones.</hijack>
 
Thanks for all the advice. I think I could become a little more assertive when finding the next partner and in not dancing two songs in a row if I don't want to.

I don't think I'll say I promised to dance with someone else unless that is the truth. It seems ripe for generating awkward situations.
 
Chiron said:
I almost never dance two dances back to back with the same woman. I usually escort the lady of the floor and say thank you, making it pretty clear that the dance is over. If a lady does ask for a second dance I tell her I'm trying to spread out who I dance with, since there are few leads (which is the truth). If there is woman who I don't want to dance with who wants to dance with me I will already have my next person to ask picked out before I get off the floor. This way I drop one lady off and immediately ask the next one for a dance, thus I am now unavailable to be asked.
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smart! but what if you send the previous lady back and the one you like to invite for the next dance already taken by someone else and the one you don't like to dance with popped up in front of you asking you to dance?
 
Standarddancer said:
smart! but what if you send the previous lady back and the one you like to invite for the next dance already taken by someone else and the one you don't like to dance with popped up in front of you asking you to dance?
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Time for me to hit the bathroom, start refilling my water bottle, or say I need a break (just cause I'm a distance runner doesn't mean I can go forever, ok I can but the lady doesn't need to know that). I luckily don't normally run into this problem. One time I had a woman ask her why I only danced with her three time, I replied "That's about two times more than anyone else I danced with". She gave me a break after that. The biggest problem I've had is getting stuck in a conversation when I wanted to dance. Luckily the cute pro usually would notice this and come over and ask me for a dance. :D
 
BM said:
I agree with all the suggestions about being transparent and polite ("Thanks, but I was hoping to ask that lady over there; I'll try to catch you later," and then do so). As tactful as I try to be, though, sometimes I am too flustered to respond with any such eloquence when a leader will accost me before I've stepped off the dance floor. On those occasions, I harbour no guilt after responding with a simple "No, thank you." I've yet to encounter someone who would demand to know why. :)
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Personally I prefer the straight "No thank you" to an excuse.
 
mamboqueen said:
cool - will see you Sunday -- although you'll be in your latin dress?
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Standard, THEN Latin. 8)

Huh, maybe I should look for a Commonwealth thread so we're no longer hijacking this one . . . ::scoots off to start a new thread::
 
davedove said:
So, you are both advocating that the man lie to the women. After all, he hasn't asked the other woman yet, but he would like to.

My thought is that the women are unfairly monopolizing his time. Granted, I'm not sure of a gentle way to get that point across, but you shouldn't have to claim you've already promised a dance when you haven't.:?
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I hope you're not suggesting that you yourself never ever lie. While in theroy lying is wrong... but in some cases it can be warrented and justified.

The OP would like to have the opprotunity to dance with a variety of women, I can understand that. Let's say I have this guy I like to dance with numerous times, in fact lots of women feel this way... and lets say I ask him to dance often, now lets say he's like okay... enough of her I'd rather dance with someone else. He should feel free to decline my offer somehow, hopefully he'd be considerate enough to spare my feelings, by "I'd like to sit this one out." As the one about to get rejected I'd rather hear a fib than a "No thanks". "Sorry- washroom break! Catch me later!"
 
I could be wrong about this, but one effect of increasingly having people bring hired partners to socials seems to be that traditional attendees are starting to be a little more observant, often taking a moment to "read" the clues to someone's status/mood instead of just charging in blindly with a request. But there are also events that have gone far enough that way that you don't want to attend without bringing a friend to dance with.
 
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