How important is confidence?

fire_dancer

fire_dancer

New Member
I am new to this forum, but I've read some of the other threads and was hoping some other dancers would be nice enough to give me their advice.....

I've been ballroom dancing for a few years, socially, and started training to compete a few months ago (1 lesson a week for about 5 months). While I love all of the styles of ballroom dancing, my favorite (and specialty) is smooth dancing [Waltz, V.Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot].

Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to compete in my first dance competition in Newcomer and Intermediate Bronze (latin and smooth) Pro/Am. However, I was stunned when I received the results..... I placed last in almost every smooth dance! (Of course, that meant being #2 out of 2 couples, and #3 out of 3 couples.... with the exception of waltz, which I won.) My pro teacher (who is Arthur Murray trained but is now independant of any studio) was shocked, and nobody on the sidelines could figure out why I had placed so low. In fact, several other teachers (who knew my teacher) came up to us and said that they didn't know how that happened.

To make a long story short, that really did quite a number on my confidence level, especially since it was my first (and only) competition. I am finding myself reconsidering if I'd ever be good enough to be a competetive dancer, and whether it would even be worth it to try anymore. Since I just graduated from college (I have a job, but at entry-level) I don't have the finances to pay for private lessons every night of the week, or for expensive coaching. I love ballroom dancing with all of my heart, but the thought of failing at competing in it (which I've always wanted to do) makes me want to cry. I've had a lot of ballet training, and pick up on ballroom really quickly, but I've started second-guessing myself and constantly doubting my ability. My instructor mentioned that it could be politics, since he's not affiliated with a studio, or just that since we didn't have any choreography (we did completely lead/follow) we might not have scored as high as the people who only did fancy moves that they planned out.

I was just wondering if anyone else had experience with this sort of thing, and what your recommendations would be. I would really appreciate any sort of help you could give me!

Thanks a ton!
 
I haven't been competing long, but I've learned that in order to enjoy it the focus needs to be on performance, not placement. Yes, it is nice to set goals and to hope to do well, but you never know who you will be competing against and you may never know why the judges placed couples they way they did. Maybe the people in the audience who thought you should have won were watching you from the waist up while the judges were looking at your feet. Maybe it was something else the judge's saw that the audience was not looking for. But you'll drive yourself nuts trying to figure it out and I've seen many dancers get very bitter about results when they focus on that alone and do not use competition as a tool to improve their dancing.
 
One more thing -- ballroom competitions are comparisons. Just because you got 2nd out of 2 does not mean that you danced poorly or failed in any way. For all you know the judges were impressed by both you and the couple you competed against, but they are required to rank you. Look at the professional finals -- all those people are amazing dancers with incredible skill, but there is only one first place ribbon.
 
Hi FD and welcome! There are dancers here with far more experience than I have (I only started ballroom in September), but my advice is to forget about results and to look at your first competition as a great accomplishment. Like you, I have had years of training in ballet (as well as other forms of dance). I entered my first competition and realized I was terrified for several reasons...I had never danced in a competitive setting, I didn't have a "real" gown or a fancy hairstyle and makeup, I was afraid of looking silly in front of my teacher, etc. But I was really proud of myself for getting through the experience. And yes, I placed last in some of the dances, but I won a few and was in the middle in others. I had been dancing ballroom for two months - I couldn't possibly expect myself to look like a pro in my first competition. I'm sure that every professional dancer in the world has endured last place finishes, discouragement and fear of failure. But they kept at it and worked hard.

Please don't let one competition...and your first competition at that... be the deciding factor in whether you continue to dance. And remember, you did win your waltz! :)

Keep dancing! :)
-RW
 
Just because you placed last out of 2 or 3 couples doesn't mean that you danced poorly. I bet that you danced very well. The other couple, or couples, just danced better in the judges eyes. If you placed last in a quarter-final event... maybe then you should start reconsidering your situation, but don't get discouraged after just one competition.
 
Thanks for all of the wonderful posts so far... they're greatly appreciated! To clarify, I'm dancing in Minnesota, where there's a fair amount of competition (right in the Twin Cities), and my main concern was that I had my competition videotaped and, after watching the competition, didn't think that the girl that beat me was very good.... not to be conceited, but she had no expression on her face, and kept losing her frame. That's why I looked at the video and said..... "If they thought she was better than me, then I really must be terrible!". *sigh* Does that sound mean? I don't mean it to be...... I guess I'm just shocked that I placed so low, and disheartened.

The posts are wonderful, though, it's nice to know that other people have had similar experiences. :)
 
fire_dancer said:
"If they thought she was better than me, then I really must be terrible!". *sigh* Does that sound mean?
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If it is mean, it is only you being mean to yourself.

I go through this all the time...don't let yourself get sucked into it or it will ruin you. Just let it go and move forward, concentrate on the joy of dancing and take pride in how far you have come. A lot of people think they are better than they really are, and you never know exactly what is on the judges' minds when they are looking at you. The best you can do is make a plan with your instructor or coach, and then stick to it. Don't get all worked up about trying to figure out what everyone wants to see. And most of all don't let feelings of inadequacy stop you from doing what you love. Self-confidence is a constant battle for me, and I don't wish my struggles on anyone. Just take my advice: don't even go there...avoid the dark road to the black pit of despair now, while you are still fresh and enthusiasatic. Give yourself some love -- it was your first competition and you looked as good as the winner.
 
I've competed 4 times so far and am now preparing for my 5th competition. In every competition, I ended up competing against a person who danced down in level, so I never got anything higher than 2nd place. My goal is to improve from one competition to another, and the base for comparison is my tape and feedback, not the placements.
 
tanya_the_dancer said:
I've competed 4 times so far and am now preparing for my 5th competition. In every competition, I ended up competing against a person who danced down in level, so I never got anything higher than 2nd place. My goal is to improve from one competition to another, and the base for comparison is my tape and feedback, not the placements.
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Good attitude. You just never know what comes in to play. There might be certain things a judge sees in you that they like that others don't. I think "recognition" might play into it a bit, too. I think sometimes that people who aren't constantly competing and aren't familiar to the judges might be at a small disadvantage (I dunno; I feel this way...it may or may not be true). You could also make a small mistake that everyone happens to catch, but one of your competitors might be fortunate enough not to have theirs seen. Trust me, I've felt the way you do, too. I don't really care too much about placements anymore...but whether I can look at my video and see an improvement from the last one.
 
there are so many things that go into what judges consider....truly, one small comp is not enough to even begin to extrapolate any sense of how well you dance....yes, not having a routine can make a difference...if some couple has been doing the same routine for a year and a half and you are doing lead and follow...they are going to look more polished, not necc. better dancers but they have a better chance of looking like it...and placement...well I placed first in a small local comp in all of my heats and danced so poorly that I cant even bear to watch the tape...so like others have said...you MUST MUST MUST dance for yourself and dance your best......the chips fall where they will, justly and unjustly and it generally all evens out....but you do need the confidence to decide that nothing and no one can take your passion for dance away from you...no one should have that power.....
 
tanya_the_dancer said:
I've competed 4 times so far and am now preparing for my 5th competition. In every competition, I ended up competing against a person who danced down in level, so I never got anything higher than 2nd place. My goal is to improve from one competition to another, and the base for comparison is my tape and feedback, not the placements.
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This is so unfair, especially to newer dancers!

This is why the dancing down age levels and dance levels should NOT happen! They ( some organizers and some teachers) are doing that purely for money, but how does that make a poor beginner feel? It sucks!


I never did that to my students. They danced their real age and real level, period. I cannot rip people off like that! How many beginners have been scared off like this? Grrr.:???:
 
chachachacat said:
This is so unfair, especially to newer dancers!

This is why the dancing down age levels and dance levels should NOT happen! They ( some organizers and some teachers) are doing that purely for money, but how does that make a poor beginner feel? It sucks!


I never did that to my students. They danced their real age and real level, period. I cannot rip people off like that! How many beginners have been scared off like this? Grrr.:???:
Click to expand...
I dont feel ripped off but I'm never gonna be that way....and I'm gonna take special pleasure in beating them:cool:
 
Judges look at different things that the audience. I would try to find what are the things you need to improve the most and work on them (feet?, posture?, frame?) with your coach. Don't let this dissapoint you, sometimes the people that do great from the beginning are not the ones that work the harder and later on make it. It's a combination of hard work, really wanting it and talent. If you don't start doing better in other comps (even after working hard in what your coach is telling you to do), I would ask myself:
Is this the right coaching? Do I understand him? How much does he know about competitive dancing? Does he competes? Does the other students at that studio do well?
I am not a fan of blaming the coaches for not doing well, but by personal experience I can say that getting the right information really influences how fast you can improve/ do well at competitions. I started coaching with someone new, and I've improved more than I thought I was able to and they still say I have a lot to learn. Yes, that is my motivation!!! I am looking forward to get better!!!!!
 
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