How much do you depend on your partner to have fun dancing?

[hopelessly_addicted]

Personally, quite a lot. And I don't really like that about dancing because as a beginner (started salsa 4 months ago), I don't get to dance with better leaders often enough. Is there any way you can still enjoy yourself despite not having good connection with the person you're dancing?

I feel I'm doomed to stop improving and to not have fun without having a regular partner (and boy would it be hard to actually find one anyways)!
I Just had a bad group lesson so I'm venting my frustration here.. Any suggestions/thoughts?

Frustrated but still passionate beginner

 

[Sabor]

no doom at all, in time.. be patient .. all in good time.

 

[squirrel]

I have the same problem... but it generally happens in my home city... where I know everybody... since I connect best with my partner, I prefer dancing with him... when he doesn't come, I might or might not have fun... depending on my mood...

When I go to other scenes, I don't really need him to be there, as O want to experience new leads... and I enjoy myself (sometimes I do think I would like to dance with him though, especially when one of "our songs" starts...).

I suggest you listen to the music and forget about who you're dancing with, if you don't connect...

 

[hopelessly_addicted]

no doom at all, in time.. be patient .. all in good time.

Patience is what I lack a lot in general I am a beginner afterall... however, when I agnoise/invest so much time (maybe not so much money due to not having stable source of income as a student) in 4 months of short but intense dancing, I feel that unless I do something radical, i'll stagnate.. hehe I'm probably being overly dramatic but my frustration is proportionate to my passion for dancing :evil:

I wish I could be one of those people who can have fun whoever they're dancing with! Then I may be more positive

 

[hopelessly_addicted]

I suggest you listen to the music and forget about who you're dancing with, if you don't connect...

yes when holidays start, I'm planning on getting out of group lesson envrionment and go to clubs for dancing heaps.. then at least I can groove to the music if all else fails :roll:

 

[motardmom]

I have just a very few people with whom I can dance and I'm even more lucky that I have a very easy connection with one of them. Connections with the other people come at varying degrees, some better than others, but none of them like the One. Still, I just decide I'm gonna have a good time and make the best of it on the rare occasions that I can't have Connection Numero Uno all to myself. My mantra is, "Dancing with different leads will make me a better dancer." (Yes, I heard that here.) It will help me to be more sensitive to different leads, and I always learn something new when I dance with someone I don't usually dance with. I can (or is that "Have decided I can") have fun with anyone, and regardless of the connection (or lack thereof), if I get up and shake my booty as much as possible, I ALWAYS go home with an endorphin high and I'm happy as a result.

Dance just makes me happy. I'm happier if I dance with a good connection, but that isn't required for me to have a good time.

Ultimately, I am not a "depend on someone else to have a good time" kind of person. I don't enjoy someone else having all the fun, I want to be in the center of things, stirring it up and getting everyone else to have fun on my terms. :lol: I had a friend of my scoff at me once because he was worried that I was not having a good time (hey! I was just recharging my batteries for a few minutes!) and I said something to the effect of, "I will take care of myself, and I will have fun!" He laughed. He didn't know me very well then.

 

[MacMoto]

Re: How much do you depend on your partner to have fun danci

Personally, quite a lot.

I like Sagitta's description (in other threads) of dance as a trinity -- you, your partner and the music becoming one. It's only natural that the partner plays a big part in making dance fun.

And I don't really like that about dancing because as a beginner (started salsa 4 months ago), I don't get to dance with better leaders often enough. Is there any way you can still enjoy yourself despite not having good connection with the person you're dancing?

Two things -- (1) keep practising to improve your dance so you can have better connection, and (2) dance with as many different leaders as possible, from beginners to advanced ones! But you may say, "I'm a beginner, I rarely get to dance with peope outside my class!" I know, I've been there. This time last year I was moaning about exactly the same thing as you. So how do you get more dances?

1. Go social dancing as often as possible. If there are many clubs to choose from in your area, try going to the same club(s) regularly. I think of this as "selling your face to regulars". Once other dancers remember you as another dancer, you are more likely to be asked to dance.
Tip: When you are there, LOOK AS IF YOU WANT TO DANCE. Don't sit at a table far away from the dancefloor talking with your friends. Stand beside the dancefloor and move to the music as you look around. That gives guys a good hint that you want to dance.

2. Ask guys to dance with you. Yes it's hard to pluck up the courage to walk up to really good dancers and ask for a dance, but once you start doing this, it becomes easier. Most guys will be flattered to be asked by a follower and will be happy to dance with you. If it makes you feel better, tell the guy that you are a beginner when you ask (if he knows you are a beginner, he can't complain about you not being good, can he?).
One important thing to remember: DON'T keep asking the same guy again and again just because he was nice the first time. If you do this he's more likely to say no as you outstay your welcome. Ask "may I have one dance with you?", and stick to one dance per leader per night. And on the flip side, don't say no to leaders when they ask you (unless there's a good reason, like the guy's drunk or is just hitting on you/looking for an opportunity to grope).

I feel I'm doomed to stop improving and to not have fun without having a regular partner (and boy would it be hard to actually find one anyways)!

I don't agree that you need a regular partner in order to improve. Having a regular partner may give you more practice, but you can practise through social dancing with different leaders too. Also, having a regular partner is not always good when you are learning lead-follow skills, as you may get so used to his lead you may end up being unable to dance well with anybody else. By dancing with lots of different leaders of different skill levels, you will learn to adjust to different leads, which will make you a good follower.

 

[tj]

I agree with what McM said.

And for me, my partner is the most important aspect of my enjoyment. I can overcome a bad DJ/band, bad floor, careless/rude dancers next to you, too much smoke, etc. as long as I have a nice connection with my partner.

Does this make me "dependent" on others? Perhaps, but not on any one individual.

If it's a bad night, I acknowledge it and move on.

 

[dTas]

i admit that i have more fun when i'm dancing with either my regular partner or with my signifigant other. but now a days i tend to have fun where ever i go dancing.

i think its different when you're a lead because you don't have to depend as much on your partner. true to do well at smooth a light partner who's going to flow with you and fuse together to become one with the music is amazing... but sweeping a stranger off her feet or going out clubbing with actual dance technique is fun as well.

 

[MacMoto]

i admit that i have more fun when i'm dancing with either my regular partner or with my signifigant other. but now a days i tend to have fun where ever i go dancing.

i think its different when you're a lead because you don't have to depend as much on your partner. true to do well at smooth a light partner who's going to flow with you and fuse together to become one with the music is amazing... but sweeping a stranger off her feet or going out clubbing with actual dance technique is fun as well.

I do have a list of favourite leaders (with something like 30 names/faces on it, I think :roll, but the biggest excitement tends to come when I dance with a total stranger and find an instant "click" -- connection where you least expect it.

 

[pygmalion]

I have fun whenever I dance, whoever I'm dancing with. (I didn't read the rest of this thread, so I have no idea if this is off-base) But seriously, I love dancing. Even when I'm dancing with jerks, or dancing badly, or dancing with bad leaders, or doing dances I don't know, or dancing alone, or dancing when I'm exhausted or injured, or anything else I can think of, I have fun. Dancing is fun. And that's the truth. 8)

 

[tacad]

I have a better time with the right partner but if there is no chemistry in the room it is still ok. I can work on dancing and technique, leading.

It can be tough though. Keep going to those dances. It gets better. Also you can improve without a regular partner. I used to think the same thing.

 

[hopelessly_addicted]

the biggest excitement tends to come when I dance with a total stranger and find an instant "click" -- connection where you least expect it.

I am so looking forward to having that instant "click" with a stranger especially as I have only danced with a handful of leaders outside of class environment Uncertainty is an aspect of being a follower that I love - not knowing what's the next move and how a particular leader leads (when the lead is a stranger).

 

[hopelessly_addicted]

Re: How much do you depend on your partner to have fun danci

Two things -- (1) keep practising to improve your dance so you can have better connection, and (2) dance with as many different leaders as possible, from beginners to advanced ones! But you may say, "I'm a beginner, I rarely get to dance with peope outside my class!" I know, I've been there. This time last year I was moaning about exactly the same thing as you. So how do you get more dances?

1. Go social dancing as often as possible. If there are many clubs to choose from in your area, try going to the same club(s) regularly. I think of this as "selling your face to regulars". Once other dancers remember you as another dancer, you are more likely to be asked to dance.
Tip: When you are there, LOOK AS IF YOU WANT TO DANCE. Don't sit at a table far away from the dancefloor talking with your friends. Stand beside the dancefloor and move to the music as you look around. That gives guys a good hint that you want to dance.

2. Ask guys to dance with you. Yes it's hard to pluck up the courage to walk up to really good dancers and ask for a dance, but once you start doing this, it becomes easier. Most guys will be flattered to be asked by a follower and will be happy to dance with you. If it makes you feel better, tell the guy that you are a beginner when you ask (if he knows you are a beginner, he can't complain about you not being good, can he?).
One important thing to remember: DON'T keep asking the same guy again and again just because he was nice the first time. If you do this he's more likely to say no as you outstay your welcome. Ask "may I have one dance with you?", and stick to one dance per leader per night. And on the flip side, don't say no to leaders when they ask you (unless there's a good reason, like the guy's drunk or is just hitting on you/looking for an opportunity to grope).

I feel I'm doomed to stop improving and to not have fun without having a regular partner (and boy would it be hard to actually find one anyways)!

I don't agree that you need a regular partner in order to improve. Having a regular partner may give you more practice, but you can practise through social dancing with different leaders too. Also, having a regular partner is not always good when you are learning lead-follow skills, as you may get so used to his lead you may end up being unable to dance well with anybody else. By dancing with lots of different leaders of different skill levels, you will learn to adjust to different leads, which will make you a good follower.

Thanks for the practical advices MacMoto! I would have been so clueless going to clubs without all these etiquettes/advices that DF has provided!! I'm so happy to be a member

 

[dancin_feet]

I have fun whenever I dance, whoever I'm dancing with. (I didn't read the rest of this thread, so I have no idea if this is off-base) But seriously, I love dancing. Even when I'm dancing with jerks, or dancing badly, or dancing with bad leaders, or doing dances I don't know, or dancing alone, or dancing when I'm exhausted or injured, or anything else I can think of, I have fun. Dancing is fun. And that's the truth. 8)

I agree with you on this. The only time however I don't like dancing is when the guy is drunk (and that's more to do with him than with my not enjoying dancing). I don't care if I'm tapping out the beat on the steering wheel in the car! If it's dance related, it's fun. Sometimes I have less fun than other times, but it's always fun.