welcome tinman. I've been going through this myself, as I only started last year. Some thoughts:
Private lessons in the fundamentals can be very helpful. They will prevent you from developing bad habits. Group classes can teach you patterns and they are great for getting repetitions in what you learned in privates, but the group teacher doesn't have time to correct the little flaws in everyone's technique.
Female private instructors are particularly helpful in teaching you to be a good leader. My main private teacher is male, but it is very helpful to get an expert woman's perspective from time to time.
Don't think that your instructors way is the only way. It's just that instructor's preference as to style. There are lots of other equally legitimate styles out there.
Instructional videos can be good. I got Josie Neglia's big salsa DVD set (
www.latindance.com, I think). It's good because it gives you an overview of the kinds of things you'll learn over the next few months or years. It really reduces the confusion, in my opinion. Before I got the DVDs, I felt lost because I didn't know anything other than what they were teaching in the class that month.
Don't give up even though you get frustrated. Some famous salsa person has explained the four levels of dancing-- unconscious incompetence (not knowing what you're dong wrong), conscious incompetence (you see how much you have to learn but it's taking forever to learn it), conscious competence (you do it right if you think about it), and unconscious competence(doing everything right naturally). The conscious incompetence stage is called "Beginner Hell." And boy it is! lol. The conscious incompetence stage is a long one, and I'm still in it. You have to perservere through it. Just keep showing up to classes and at the clubs.
Obviously listen to salsa a lot so you can find the beat naturally and quickly.
Don't get too worried about the On1 versus On2 controversy, which you'll hear about soon enough. Just learn whatever the majority of women in your town want to dance to.
Lots of people talk about feeling the music and being one with the music and all that. They're right, but you gotta walk before you can run, so don't worry about doing that with every song right away. You need some tools in your toolbox in order to really improvise to the music. Even the great improvisational jazz musicians started out taking classes, doing scales, and following sheet music. Your basic moves and patterns are like that.
Be sure to recruit your friends into the salsa cult, we always have to do our part to make the community grow.
Good luck!