how to deal with my instructor when I need a second one?

Jongleur9418

Jongleur9418

Member
I know this topic is not new but I still need some direct advice after I went through some discussions on DF.

I have been with my current instructor for three years. I recently talked to him that I wanted to take lessons from a female teacher at the same studio for some female issues in my dancing, and he told me that he would have to be involved because the studio seems not encourage students of one teacher to take lessons freely from another. I am shocked by such a rule, but it seems to be true in this studio - students take lessons from different instructors as coaching.

By the way, this is a loosely organized studio with all independent instructors, who only pay rent to the studio owner as they teach their lessons. I may just talk away but this is a small town (2 hours from LA though) with limited choices of dance teachers. Or, should I talk to the studio owner about this?
 
Ask him what he means by "involved." If it's that he'd like to be kept in the loop about what you are working on, that seems fair. For instance, in high school, my math teacher told me what to work on with my math tutor. But if your instructor expects to be a part of the lesson with the female instructor... now you're paying two instructors for the hour. That may not be what you have in mind.

You could always find a female instructor outside of this studio, where he'd have zero input at all. So just freely communicate what you want and what you'd like to happen. Good luck!
 
Thank you, s2k! Yes, I'll have to pay both. We actually did that before a comp as coaching but this time I just want to work with her for some specific issues as female follower.
 
You are probably bumping up against the policies these independent instructors have set up for themselves to avoid even the appearance that they are preying on each other students. That's clearly not the case in your circumstance. If they can't recognize that and make and exception or an exception would be just too damaging to the ecosystem they have set up then go elsewhere. At double time rate, you may be in the range of a renown dance teacher. If there's anyone you ever dreamed of getting instructor from but thought unattainable, use this roadblock as an opportunity. When one door closes, another one opens.
 
My pro openly encourages us, females, to have either lessons or,coaching with another female (our choice-anywhere) to address exactly what your original post is. He definitely does not discourage it. I have done this several times without my pro in the lesson. A) I am not paying double to have both teachers at the same time. B) I do take my cell phone video clips of our dancing to the female pro/teacher and we address my concerns and things she may notice. C) I would check first to clarify policies even if they are independent pro's just renting space at the same studio,,,,,better yet,,, as another reply posted "when one door closes another opens" you may find a female teacher you connect with that can help you with the details of concern somewhere else.
 
I go for 'girl lessons' at another studio occasionally, because I don't click with the options available at my home studio. I see no reason to include pro for specific questions relating to my role... though I do come back and tell him what I learned.

Frankly, if he insisted on being there, he's welcome to attend on his own time. Or I can do it without his knowledge. His call.
 
Thank you, guys, for the helpful input!

I have been puzzling if there are policies as PaulBunyon mentioned between the independent instructors. I'll try some of the ways you guys advised and see where they would lead to.

Thanks again!
 
If you don't try a few options you may never know what you were missing. Obviously it is important to be thoughtful toward any parties involved and don't do anything that would create additional friction.

A seasoned professional teacher will have experienced many times where students took from other teachers or even left them. It is also not uncommon for a student to leave and then come back.

I have always maintained a very open door policy both as a student and the teacher. It is important that people have the opportunity to learn in the best way they can arrange for themselves. Sometimes learning involves trying different options some of which may not be good for them.

If they ask me for advice about other teachers I simply tell them which ones I think are especially good, but if they have their mind set on someone that I don't I think is suitable, it is not my job to try to debate them on this issue. They have to go and try for themselves and find out if the other teacher is helpful.
 
Since you have already spoken to your instructor about this, and he has said he "would have to be involved", you could also take the approach of asking him how he would like to be involved without you having to pay for two instructors at the same time. Perhaps he meant "go take a lesson and come back and tell me what you worked on" and/or "bring back some video clips so I can see what you worked on."

If he insists he must be there (and be paid) then you can explore some of the other options posters have shared above, after telling him you can't afford (or don't want to pay for) such an arrangement.
 
I take technique with my pro's professional partner regularly and find it immensely helpful. She is also my go-to for wardrobe decisions and advice on booking hair/makeup. Can't imagine *not* having a female pro on my team, especially when it comes to competing!
 
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