I was quite lucky to find a new latin partner last month. She dances beautifully, practices real hard, and our schedules fit pretty well and she even not complained that much about my lead. The only thing is that when I initially asked her, in a standard group lesson, I actually wanted to dance standard with her, her reply was to wait until this crazy time period to pass, which was very reasonable and I totally understood. However, couple weeks later, I bumped into her in a latin group lesson, and we quickly agreed to share private lessons and attending a weekly latin rounds together. Obviously, she is really into latin, that standard group lesson is the only time I see her dancing standard, otherwise she is always practice latin. And she told me the reason for participating in the standard group lesson is that her house is pretty far away from the studio, she wants her trip to the studio to be more worthwhile. For all the standard gentlemen in the forum, can you share your successful stories to make a latin lady fall in love with standard? For all the latin ladies in the forum, is that even possible?
How to encourage my new latin partner also to dance standard
- Thread starter Dean
- Start date
Standard is a tough sell in this context, to be honest. Smooth is a lot easier, because it has similar opportunities to shine. Standard is a lot more reserved.
The only real angle I can think of is to try to be International 10-Dancers. That notion appeals to some people...like my Standard partner, who likes Latin much, much more than Standard. I like Standard more, so we're essentially doing one another a favor--and helping one another grow in the style we're each stronger in.
IMO, she has given you clear, if subtle, indications that she has no interest in Standard. Please respect that. If you enjoy doing Latin together, by all means carry on, but (and I say this generically) don't try to change people and expect them to do things they don't want to do just because it's what *you* want to do.
Why do you want to dance Standard with her anyway? Is she really amazing in group class and just doesn't realize it? Or is this sort of a fantasy?
Why do you want to dance Standard with her anyway? Is she really amazing in group class and just doesn't realize it? Or is this sort of a fantasy?
bia
Forum Master
I'm with Indy on this one. Even her explanation for why she does the standard group class reinforces it: she cares significantly about how efficiently she uses her limited dance resources. Taking a standard group class because she's already there and otherwise, at that time, she wouldn't be dancing at all makes sense in this context. Any serious work on standard would come at the expense of her work on latin, and that doesn't seem to be a trade-off she's interested in making. It would be good to say clearly to her once, if you haven't already, that if she is ever interested in adding standard to what you work on together, you'd love it. But to keep from harming your latin partnership, I'd then leave it there.
She has clearly stated that she's not interested in standard at this time. And judging by the time and effort she's put into Latin it seems unlikely that she's going to suddenly become interested in the near future.
If you enjoy doing Latin together then great. However, if your goal is to dance Standard then keep looking. Why not go back to that original group class and ask someone else?
If you enjoy doing Latin together then great. However, if your goal is to dance Standard then keep looking. Why not go back to that original group class and ask someone else?
Any figure with title that has "cuban" in it is already way out of my comfort zone
both my ex-partners danced both latin and standard. I guess I took things for granted. Thanks for the advice.
Two partners in the same group class?! Just imagine all the drama!!! From my prior experience, 2 partners is definitely worse than 1, and most likely even worse than no partner at all
Warren J. Dew
Forum Master
No, because I don't have any.
You didn't say whether you are interested in both Latin and Standard, or whether you are really only interested in Standard and got sucked into the Latin. If the latter, I'd suggest starting to cancel Latin lessons and practices when you don't feel like going, with the excuse that it's just not as fun as Standard. Either she will suggest a trade where you both do both, or she'll drop it and you won't have to waste time on Latin any more.