How to improve confidence?
- Thread starter El Hombre
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contracheck
New Member
Practice, practice, and more practice.
I've read a couple books that touch on this subject, and mostly they talk about building confidence through achieving successive goals (which can be small or large) related to, and the daily reinforcement and notice of things you do "right" in regards to the skill. To me, it makes sense to build a true confidence in one's skills in such a manner.
However, there's always the "fake it until you make it" method until you get there.
However, there's always the "fake it until you make it" method until you get there.
haha. I like the "fake it until you make it" method. My coach said that, it really doesn't matter what you think (though it was applied more generally), the judges don't judge what you think, they judge what you look like. Of course, if one is confident in oneself, in general, one would look confident.
Although I think in ballroom dancing, confidence was taken in some specific context. IMHO, it is about taking space. Taking space on the floor (with moving), taking space with one's frame. Also, for instance, when looking down (which is normally the sign of not confident) also will diminish/distort the frame. So if I am going with one word explanation, it will be looking Large (I lied, it is two-word explanation =P)
Although I think in ballroom dancing, confidence was taken in some specific context. IMHO, it is about taking space. Taking space on the floor (with moving), taking space with one's frame. Also, for instance, when looking down (which is normally the sign of not confident) also will diminish/distort the frame. So if I am going with one word explanation, it will be looking Large (I lied, it is two-word explanation =P)
ireniecat
New Member
Yes, and the key is to know your goals and acknowledge them. If you just dismiss your achievements as you reach your goals, and only focus on what you haven't yet achieved, you will be worse off.
Also beware of the difference between "confidence" and "arrogance". Confidence comes from within. You own it, regardless of who else is on the competition floor. "Arrogance" comes from comparison. You can be confident without being arrogant. Does this make sense?
There are also some good books on mental technique. I personally enjoyed "The Mental Edge" by Kenneth Baum, if you can get past the author's gloating in the first few chapters.
This is so true. In ballroom the context of "confidence" usually takes on a very visual form.
Nice!
Leonid Turetsky
Member
That is an awesome line!
I also think the following 2 points can help with confidence:
1. The actual skill/knowledge can be huge confidence boost. This is gained through taking lessons and learning how to dance.
2. The experience...The experience of competing, the experience of "showing up", the experience of training for years.
fascination
Site Moderator
ditto...you treat it like a neccessity, just like every other dance skill
Standarddancer
Well-Known Member
One of my coaches have said "when you dance, you should always have the image/belief that you look good on the floor"
madmaximus
Forum Master
I think I wrote this here before:
Confidence comes from truly and absolutely knowing what to do--on the floor, with your partner, when you're blocked in, when you have the floor to yourself.
No amount of trickery, mental-buttressing, juju, or mentorship will give it to you--you have to find it within yourself.
Powerful confidence comes from knowing in yourself that you can handle any situation you will face--gracefully.
This applies whether you're on a social, competitive, or informal floor--and any other context for that matter.
m
Confidence is not given, it is developed over time. In my case, I found that the following helped:
1 – Knowing your steps: learn them and do what you need to remember them (take notes, film videos, whatever you need).
2 – Practicing your steps (a lot): self explanatory, but the more partners of varying skill levels you try them with, the better. You can learn different things from each of them and by looking at the results.
3 – Putting them in practice with people you don’t know or normally dance with. There is probably no better confidence booster than trying a step with someone you don’t know and getting it right. At that moment, you truly feel like you mastered something (even if there’s always room to improve).
I hope this helps!1 – Knowing your steps: learn them and do what you need to remember them (take notes, film videos, whatever you need).
2 – Practicing your steps (a lot): self explanatory, but the more partners of varying skill levels you try them with, the better. You can learn different things from each of them and by looking at the results.
3 – Putting them in practice with people you don’t know or normally dance with. There is probably no better confidence booster than trying a step with someone you don’t know and getting it right. At that moment, you truly feel like you mastered something (even if there’s always room to improve).
Josh
Active Member
+1 Well said max!
I think I may have posted this before too, but one time a brand new lady was dancing a tango with me. She asked me, "How do you get that tango attitude?" and made a gesture that attempted to imitate what she thought tango was supposed to look like. What popped into my head and what I answered was, "First you have to learn tango." Essentially, I believe the attitude (a reflection of the confidence level) organically arises from the confidence in one's ability to perform a dance at that time, both before and during the dance.
I'm a believer that in real life situations, no one can fake confidence, sincerity, or anything for that matter. You either are confident or you aren't--you really are being sincere when you ask "how are you today?" or you're not. People are intuitive and can smell fear just like they can smell a lie.
tanya_the_dancer
Well-Known Member
I am not sure about this. Quite a few times I received comments that I looked so confident on the dance floor, and inside I felt anything but confidence, but somehow I was able to show the opposite.
And in other life situations, like job interviews, or parent-teacher conferences, or presentations, I somehow learned to hide the nervousness deep inside, so that I at least appear competent, even if I don't feel that myself.