How to nicely say, "Don't look at Me"

[DanceMentor]

As a teacher, I am often talking to my students when they are dancing, and they have a way of looking at me while I am talking, especially beginners. In the smooth dances, as you may know, the lady should positioned on the man's right side, and looking over his shoulder (when in closed position).

Often while we are dancing, students will have a habit of looking at me constantly. It can actually make me feel a little bit uncomfortable, but sometimes I struggle with how to tell them to "please stop looking at me and keep your head to the left". :lol:

 

[Sagitta]

There is that problem. It bugs me!! I end up positioning myself so that the follower can look at the teacher, or more often I just break frame, let her look as much as she wants and when she is satisfied I will re-establish the partnership, the frame.

 

[DanceMentor]

You bring up another point. Often when I am teaching a couple, they will look at me instead of each other. When I have been taking lessons, I have found myself to be guilty of the same thing.

 

[Sarah]

Often while we are dancing, students will have a habit of looking at me constantly. It can actually make me feel a little bit uncomfortable, but sometimes I struggle with how to tell them to "please stop looking at me and keep your head to the left". :lol:

Don't know about you, but I'd ham it up - Say something like "I know I'm the most georgeous thing in the room, and I understand that its really difficult to take your eyes off me, but do remember where your head should be pointing...."

The grin is manditory

Cheers
Sarah

 

[SDsalsaguy]

:lol: :lol:

 

[Hank]

I once took a class from Pierre Allaire and Mireille Veilleux. Pierre lined up with feet offset from Mireille, each looking over the other's shoulder, and said, "This is dance position."

Then, Pierre and Mireille lined up with feet and noses directly facing each other, and Pierre said, "This is not dance position; this is kissing position. If you want to have any hope of being in kissing position later, you'd better stay in dance position now."

 

[ratherbdancing]

I once took a class from Pierre Allaire and Mireille Veilleux. Pierre lined up with feet offset from Mireille, each looking over the other's shoulder, and said, "This is dance position."

Then, Pierre and Mireille lined up with feet and noses directly facing each other, and Pierre said, "This is not dance position; this is kissing position. If you want to have any hope of being in kissing position later, you'd better stay in dance position now."

 

[Pacion]

:lol: Hank!

A former teacher used to used his hand and forceably turn the ladies' faces away or in one case, go for the girl's hair and pull it towards him :shock: thankfully it wasn't me but I guess times have moved on for such physical demonstrations!

How about asking them to close their eyes for the first few times? I think it is a natural think to want to look in the direction you are going so this could work if you are leading them in a reverse thingy mijig. If they can trust/feel comfortable that they don't have to rely on their eyes to do the looking, it might help?

 

[twnkltoz]

When I'm leading in class, I will often gently turn the lady's head for her (usually with one finger push her chin over). Or, I'll indicate with my head (hard to describe) and say "look over there!"

 

[tasche]

It may not be that they are looking at you persay but wanting to look where they are going (like me) I can't help it I've ha too many car accidents

 

[twnkltoz]

What I hate is when the followers are looking at their neighbors and stumbling all over trying to figure out their step (that we just spent 10 minutes going over) instead of letting their partner lead them! I always ask them who they're dancing with.

 

[Laura]

Heck, if you're a teacher people are paying you to tell them what to do, so simply saying "look [wherever it is you want them to look], not at me" is completely appropriate.

 

[tsb]

Heck, if you're a teacher people are paying you to tell them what to do, so simply saying "look [wherever it is you want them to look], not at me" is completely appropriate.

i concur. your discomfort need not be voiced as an issue - each person looking at you is most likely compromising their frame putting their partner at an immediate disadvantage. it is certainly better that you address that issue rather than put some students in a position of feeling like they need to offer criticism/advice just to improve their situation to a level that should be a reasonable expectation to begin with.

in my experience the students who keep looking at the instructor tend to be relatively inexperienced in terms of class level so it would seem almost obligatory on your part to keep reminding these students not to compromise their frames - besdes compromising their frames they tend to move with the instructor rather than being sensitive to the lead/follow of their partner as well as their classmates on the floor.

 

[ShyDancer]

I am so guilty of that

I always try to look at my teacher when he is talking and when we are in dance position he constantly remnds me too keep my head left.
He just makes a joke of it though, usually says "head to the left" out of the corner of his mouth, or stops and demonstrates what happens if both partners are looking at each other .. they bang heads :lol:

I dont find it offensive in any way at all when he tells me to look left. Thats what Im paying him for after all. I find taking a lesson with a teacher who doesnt tell me what Im doing worng is far less productive... I cant change something I dont know Im doing incorrectly!

 

[Sabor]

i wouldn't ask u to look left darling :wink: .. lol