I need a dance psychologist!

[Salsaonone]

Ever find yourself dancing with a really good partner (follower in my case), and might even be attractive, but you do not feel any dance chemistry and it is more like going through the moves and is more an exercise on executing moves? And then some other dance partner might be a good follower as well, but there is that added "chemistry"? And the dance takes on a whole new feeling? Even if the other partner only knows the basics?? Sometimes I feel that natural selection is going on, but the salsa addict in me tells me not to pursue it beyond the actual dance, might ruin the dancing enviornment....Dancing bachata with and without that chemistry is almost like dancing two different dances...So I suppose I could ask a follower "do you feel that, or is that just me??" But it seems an odd type of question to ask while dancing....Dancing without that chemistry is still loads of fun (most dances are like that to me) but the ones that have it, almost are a "feel" dance rather than moves dance....does that makes sense??

 

[DancePoet]

I believe when a person is having one of those really good connections during a dance that the partner is likely feeling it too.

I had a dance recently with one of my previous partners. We had worked on a Foxtrot routine for a performance, and we hadn't done a foxtrot in awhile. All of a sudden everything just fit, connected, the music, the dancing, just super! I mentioned something to her about it and she totally got what I meant. She felt the same thing. Since then we've done a few more Foxtrots, and we can tell when both of us are "on" at the same time, and when we're not.

 

[BrookeErin]

Ever find yourself dancing with a really good partner, and might even be attractive, but you do not feel any dance chemistry and it is more like going through the moves and is more an exercise on executing moves?

yep... I think it's similar in choosing relationship partners as in choosing dance partners. Although attraction plays a role in it, there is the intangible connection that just has to be there. Perhaps ll the numbers line up, but there's just something missing. Tht's how it works for me anyway.

 

[youngsta]

I've actually experienced three levels of connection. The first is what you described as a good follow but no chemistry; still fun but chemistry is always better. Second of course is the former with chemistry; those are the women on my regular list. I always know I'm going to have a great dance with them. Now Third is #2 with some other attraction going on. That is a whole different experience altogether. Almost as if you're courting during the dance! ::sigh:: Just experienced this on Thursday evening.

 

[DancePoet]

I've actually experienced three levels of connection. The first is what you described as a good follow but no chemistry; still fun but chemistry is always better. Second of course is the former with chemistry; those are the women on my regular list. I always know I'm going to have a great dance with them. Now Third is #2 with some other attraction going on. That is a whole different experience altogether. Almost as if you're courting during the dance! ::sigh:: Just experienced this on Thursday evening.

Congrats Youngsta! No need to be embarassed.

 

[MacMoto]

I've actually experienced three levels of connection. The first is what you described as a good follow but no chemistry; still fun but chemistry is always better. Second of course is the former with chemistry; those are the women on my regular list. I always know I'm going to have a great dance with them. Now Third is #2 with some other attraction going on. That is a whole different experience altogether. Almost as if you're courting during the dance! ::sigh:: Just experienced this on Thursday evening.

Yes, I know what you are talking about... I've experienced all three.

 

[tj]

Same here about all 3...

And I know what you mean about having a nice "technical" dance that's lacking soul/connection...

 

[Lucretia]

Yes Salsaoneone, I know what you mean.

I call these moments "minor" dancefloor crushes. Or perhaps I surpress the feelings to make them stay "minor". I remember the dance and the kick I got from the dance, the connection and the "poetry" that is created in these moments. But I don't get turned on the guy himself - or don't allow myself to get turned on :wink: . I allow myself to get turned on by the marvellous things we together create on the dancefloor.

A friend of mine always has this effect on me. He is like a fiddler playing the viola. He makes the most lovely music by his leads. I feel adored and beloved. I dance like a goodess - a dancing queen. With other leaders it happens more rarely.

(I guess this guy have an unique ability to reach into the soul of the follower. And I know a lot more followers feels the same about him. I can't understand why no girl catches his heart - it must be easy to fall in love in such a person. He is so talented! )

/Lucretia

 

[Salsaonone]

chemistry

Now Third is #2 with some other attraction going on. That is a whole different experience altogether. Almost as if you're courting during the dance!

Yeah, that is it exactly....Murphy's law usually makes it happen to me with a partner who is "unavailable"....but I still think its a great feeling, but for now better left on the dance floor....

 

[mexi_gabacho]

Been there...

I've definitely been there. There have been great dancers that when I dance with them, I just don't feel 'it'. She can spin like a top, moves nicely, dressed beautifully, and can be just amazing with another lead, but we just don't connect.

I can remember once recently when this one really great follower (who dates an instructor from another school) was out a club. I asked her to dance, and we went through alot of nice moves, I synced stuff with the music, it was a nice song... but, we just didn't seem to mesh.

I still dance with her from time to time and we both smile, but there just is that little 'something' missing when we dance together - which is weird because I've seen us both tear up the floor with other partners. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm not being outgoing enough with her and maybe that will open us up, but not sure :? .

Someone compared it to relationships, and I think that is a pretty good analogy. Sometimes things just 'click' and sometimes you dance with someone who seems like a perfect match for you, and 'it' just isn't there.

I'll have to think about this.... I always think it is something that I'm doing that isn't letting her come out, and other times, I just think "we simply don't dance well together" and leave it at that. Something to ponder.

 

[aragonh]

Well, if your feeling the "chemistry", the least that you could do is ask for the digits.

The worst she could say is "no" (or other 'similar' responses).

 

[tj]

Re: Been there...

I'll have to think about this.... I always think it is something that I'm doing that isn't letting her come out, and other times, I just think "we simply don't dance well together" and leave it at that. Something to ponder.

This is my tendency as well... do share if you have any revelations/insight about this!

 

[Salsaonone]

Re: Been there...

I'll have to think about this.... I always think it is something that I'm doing that isn't letting her come out, and other times, I just think "we simply don't dance well together" and leave it at that. Something to ponder.

Well there are followers that I dance with that I know are better dancers than me and we dance together and its like trying to put the circle into the square hole.....I think sometimes that has to do with stylistic differences in dancing salsa....some followers always dance with the same partner and when they dance with someone new, they have a harder time following different leads....but I dont know how often this one happens...but I have definitely danced with followers that after the song is over, you felt that you danced two different dances, one for you and one for the follower.... ...it happens....