To answer your question, Josh, regarding if I was pragmatic the first time I performed, I would have to say to a certain extent I was. My situation was a bit different than Thespina's however. I was not part of a group. I paired up with another salsa student and friend and we worked for three months putting together a routine and then performed it at a showcase. I remember even then that my focus was to give the audience the best possible experience I could given my skill level. We didn't have the time or energy to spend on emotional reactions to our every little success or stumble along the way.
I certainly did not approach my goal as pragmatically as a dancing Mr. Spock (think Star Trek) might have, but had no where near the angst that Thespina seems to be experiencing. My pragmatism did not get in the way of creative expression during the performance; on the contrary, I was told afterwards by several folks that I had danced very expressively. Our performance earned us a standing ovation from a crowd of about 300 folks, and invitations from various professionals and others to perform at other venues, including professional gigs.
I feel that had I indulged in whatever feelings of insecurity that might have popped up during the process, I would have wasted precious time and energy better spent practicing and improving my craft.
As for implying that Thespina is ego-driven and insecure, well what else is one to glean from her own posted words? Following are just two of several lines that led to my observation.
She said "I'm self-conscious, and I'm not loving myself or feeling confident." "I feel like the lowest acheiver right now."
These are not the statements of a person who is feeling secure and not seeking to soothe the ego.
My observations were not intended to be insultive, but rather difinitive of why it is she is having what she described as an emotional roller coaster.
I simply suggested that she stop talking to herself in her head, stop focussing on her feelings and ego through this process and instead focus on the dance and the audience. If she makes this about them and not herself, she might stop feeling as though she is on top of the world one moment, and emotionally drained, self-deprecating and ready to quit altogether the next.
I also find it amusing that you caution me to watch my tone in one breath and then end your own post with what I interpreted as a sarcastic tone in the next breath. You mis-interpreted my intent. And I yours?
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