redbeard6 said:
fascination said:
redbeard6 said:
This really is a problem for me. Any more advise will be greatly appreciated.
can you be more specific b/c otherwise there isn't alot else to say
Specifically, my wife does not share my addiction to Tango...or dancing in general. Granted, she has broken the same bone in both of her feet; so I understand where she is coming from. But with what little time we have together it is hard for me to be going off to lessons and then socials on weekends. I have repressed my dancing desires for 26 of our 28 years together but have ventured out over the past 2 years. She tried lessons for 6 months but simply could not continue. I feel she is uncomfortable with me dancing with other ladies. And after 28 years...of course we have talked about it. But with 28 years of being together...more can be said
unspoken than spoken. I'm just between a rock and a hard place.
I am going to make some inferences that may or MAY NOT be true of your marriage but which have been true for mine and if they help great, IF NOT, PLEASE DISREGARD....here are my random disjointed observations:
there is a difference btwn a passion and an addiction....be careful that you have the former
there is also the matter of what :wink: about tango appeals to you and how well you are able to manage the parts that appeal to you that worry both her and you (secretly?)...sometimes we project more onto them that is really about what is going on inside of us and if we are going to keep the activity, then the stress of having to deal with frustrations and attractions and self-control....is the price we pay
if I am barking up the wrong tree then it is fair to ask her what her concern is (if you can tell her forthrightly that she needn't be)
it is also important to cultivate a counterbalance activity about which you can be just as pssionate w/ your wife or you may soon find yourself in bad space :?
I empathize that you have sacrificed many years as a non-dancer...I remind you that that was likely your choice and part of being in a relationship :friend:
having said all of that and if you don't want to kick me by now
...let me tell you that I was the only married person who danced at our studio showcase a few weeks ago and who was honored for graduating a level who was without her spouse...and while he and I both understand and respect each other's choices, it was bittersweet and hard on me to sit out many dances or be frustrated b/c my teacher couldn't take his place etc....
some things are just a burden ya have to bear...and you make each choice daily and communicate regularly
