Individuals predestined not to dance?

[RasTa]

Greetings dancers and non-dancers...I recently posted on another topic, but I thought I would start an interesting discussion here that might provoke some thought and I would like to hear some interesting thoughts.

I have been thinking lately that it is possible that there are just individuals predestined to not dance, ever. What leads me to believe such a thing like this is, well myself. Let me give you some background.
I went through highschool. I honestly went to the majority of dances, mainly because I liked the girls I had the opportunities to go with, and also had many friends going as well. I enjoyed going out with these people.

I have since graduated high school and am currently doing time in the Marine Corps, also doing a bit of schooling. I visit the local enlisted-club every now and then, in hopes that I might gain the self-confidence to go out there and dance, but I never do, no matter HOW many drinks I have at the bar :wink: .

One of the problems is I simply have no hope in dancing. I never took any dance classes and I have never really spent some major time on the dance floor, never during any of my school dances or times at the club.

I know that I have rhythm...one of the problems is that it isn't natural rhythm, it is totally developed from my 2 years in marching band (Drumline) and 2 years playing drumset in a rock band. I have met many people with the same developed rhythm, and they have the same problems with dancing as I have. We can feel the songs, we just don't really know how to move our bodies with it.

A nightmare that I have had is that I am in a club, or with a bunch of people. I am with a very attractive girl that I happened to take, one that has expressed great interest in me. We are dancing at the club, and it feels great cus I feel confident in what im doing, I feel like I really know what's going on. Then suddenly, one person starts laughing, and it creates a chain reaction, and everybody in the club starts laughing, including the attractive female I took. They are just standing there around me in a big circle and pointing....and laughing at me. They comment on certain moves while blatantly laughing at me, they say things like "Did you see him try to do this and this and that? blah blah blah" and they just laugh. It feels horrible, and this recurring nightmare just keeps me from going to the dance floor even more.

This did actually happen at one time, I was at a Christmas party. Spending serious time away from family and friends gets to me sometimes, so naturally I started consuming alcohol. We were listening to music all night, and everybody was dancing, except for me. Everybody there just happened to notice this, so they started cheering me on to get on the dance floor, I denied this request many times, but eventually I gave in. I got up there and just started well, moving my body in beat with the music, but I knew I looked ridiculous, and people just started laughing. They were laughing so...so...hard. Naturally I laughed with all of them, because we had all consumed mass quantites of alcohol that night, but it just hurt. It hurts because I know I can feel the music, I know I have a really really good understaning of rhythms in virtually any style of music. I just can't....well...dance!

I'm not expecting to be a professional dancer overnight here...I just see people who have never taken any dance classes and it just seems like they know what they are doing when they move their bodies around, their hips, their shoulders, their arms...it just seems like they know what they are doing, and they have never taken any dance classes or anything (HORRIBLE run-on sentence...and i'm trying to become an english major :roll: ).

Is this all just a silly excuse for not being able to dance?? Or has anybody here really experienced dancers who are simply predestined not to dance?

Hope people catch on to this topic!

RasTa

 

[jon]

There are lots of dancers who have no natural talent but learn by taking lessons and practice, including myself. I think lead-follow dancing attracts people like us initially exactly because it does have rules and patterns and so on. Later on maybe we start loosening up a bit and moving from the analytical to the intuitive side.

So if you're interested in dancing something like salsa or swing or balloom, just go take some lessons. As someone who survived boot camp in the Marines, you obviously have the discipline, focus, and confidence to become a decent dancer.

Not sure how well this principle would apply to contemporary club dancing like hip-hop, though.

 

[RasTa]

Oh, and another thing...I am currently stationed in the Asian Pacific...

If that doesn't mean anything to anyone, let's just say there is absolutly no place to take any dance lessons anywhere on this side of the international date line :wink:

RasTa

 

[jon]

There's definitely dancing to be found in parts of Japan and Korea, at least, though I don't know about English-language instruction. Whereabouts are you stationed? Possibly someone native to that area is even reading the thread and could make suggestions.

Somewhat OT, but one of my favorite dance partners is being sent to Iraq with her reserve MP unit after their current deployment at GTMO ends in a few months ... hopefully there will be a little dancing there, at least. I know there are a couple of Lindy Hoppers stationed in or near Baghdad already trying to get something set up, though the male/female imbalance makes it challenging.

 

[Tasek]

... I got up there and just started well, moving my body in beat with the music, but I knew I looked ridiculous...

And the core of the matter lies in that little sentence. For the kind of dancing you want to do (just moving around and having fun in a social setting) it's about confidence as much as anything else. It doesn't really matter what you do as long as you it with confidence and enthusiasm. Ofcourse this is easily said, and now the real issue is for you to get that confidence you need to go out there and shake your butt (or whatever bodypart you feel like shaking).
I don't know what will work for you, but can give some suggestions of things that might work;
Take some lessons, either solo dancing (e.g. streetdance, hip hop) as this will give you a 'vocabulary' of moves that you can use, and as you grow accustomed to these moves it should become easier to fit them to the music you hear in the club, or take up partnerdancing, as jon already said these have a structured approach with rules and patterns that can get you started (plus you get a hold a girl in your arms, which is rarely a bad thing).
Listen to music as much as you can (and like).
I don't know how your living conditions are exactly, so the following might be difficult if your quartered in some big dormitory with a bunch of other marines, but every now and then try and find a place with a few square meters of cleared, even floor, lock the door, close the curtains, put on some music, and start moving, and here it really, really, really doesn't matter what you do, there is noone there to judge you, and everything goes, you want to bounce around, bounce around, want to stomp your feet to the beat, do it, want to stand still and just tap your finger, fine, want to take big steps waving your arms wildly, also fine, just remember to put back any furniture you knock over
And remember that when you're in a club, the vast majority of people won't care, they'll be too busy either getting drunk or worrying about their own dancing.
And the most important thing is to have fun dancing, and if people laugh at you for having fun, they're just sad losers, and not worth your time.

Hope some of this helps.

 

[Diavo]

When I was in hs I also went to plenty of dances because it was the Thing To Do but "couldn't dance". That's because the music they play *to me* was never danceable to begin with, I never felt that beat and I couldn't dig into it.

Then I started digging into swing -- I was bit fast & hard by the swing bug. My snr yr Homecoming they played Zoot Suit Riot and Jump Jive & Wail back-to-back and I tore up the rug with my date (who merely had to follow) -- since almost no one in the entire school knew how to swing dance they just kinda bopped around but we had huge circle around us! =)

Point of the story: find the type of music you feel you can dance to. I refuse to believe that anyone can't dance at all ever, no way.

It's now 6 yrs later and I still wouldn't be able to dance to "that kind" of music (the poppy/modern/r&b/rappy types) but give me 8 swingin' beats and look out...!

--Diavo 8)

 

[dTas]

i think everybody has the abilityto dance, and dance well.

learning to dance is like learning any other skill; typing, basketball, bowling, brushing your teeth, signing your name.

you just have to do it. the more you do it the more synapses get generated in you brain. eventually the brain fires through those nerves more readily and easily.

i once had a student who was a muscle / movement expert and he related it to "cow tracks". just like cow tracks in the side of a hill. one cow makes a trail, then the next one follow it... eventually there's a worn trail that is regularly traveled by all cows. the same has to be done in the body. you have to lay a "cow track" and then keep using it until it gets warn into a regular path.

unless you have some physical limitation; no hill, no cows, etc.

you can do it!

 

[Sagitta]

cow tracks!! :lol: Whatever works.

 

[cocodrilo]

Hi RasTa!
Sounds like a self-confidence problem that could be easily cured by a dance class or two! I am in Japan, and have travelled ALL OVER Asia and dance is BIG, BIG, BIG here! There must be community centers or private dance schools where you are(where ARE you, by the way?). Some clubs even offer dance lessons. A lot of the salsa clubs have beginners' lessons before the place starts hoppin' at night, so if you get there early, you can join the lesson and learn some steps, then practice them later on in the night!