Intro Post and Question About Facial Hair in Close Embrace

[Brummbaer]

Smells I dislike on dancers - cigarette, weed, alcohol.

It's rare to find someone, a dancer, who ... smokes. Or worse ... vapes. Tobacco always seemed to leave a pervasive stale smell; vaping - yeah - you see a couple of rough types vaping, but then you get nearer and there's some sweet, sickly, pervasive, cloying smell - like a blueberry muffin factory on fire.

Alcohol is rare at most milongas I visit (small). Main reason is that the venue won't have an alcohol licence. However, given an appropriate venue, weather, and not needing to drive, (all rare) maybe a small glass of wine (still need to navigate the floor).

Some hair sprays can have noticeable smell when dancing which isn’t pleasant.

Certainly agree with that!

 

[Tango Newbie]

Although this discussion is about facial hair (on leaders), while I don't mind it, I can't count how many times followers' hair is either tickling my face, or even obstructing my vision a tiny bit.

As long as it doesn't prevent me from navigating and avoiding other dancers, I'm okay with it. However, one follower was courteous enough to 'ask' if their long (bushy) hair bothered me (and it didn't).

 

[opendoor]

..So many men in tango smell bad, I try not to notice..

That's so true. We develop a mechanism of sensory adaptation, perhaps even suppression.
The next morning I can puke if I smell under the right armpit of my shirt. But at night I still danced with that woman. That's kind of unimaginable, isn't it?

 

[flandrienne]

Alcohol is rare at most milongas I visit (small). Main reason is that the venue won't have an alcohol licence. However, given an appropriate venue, weather, and not needing to drive, (all rare) maybe a small glass of wine (still need to navigate the floor).

You’re lucky then, where I live (Belgium) pretty much everyone drinks at the milonga. I was in a pretty toxic relationship with someone who drank and smoked and I dislike smelling it on someone’s breath. I try to not dance with someone who’s had more than one heavy beer. It always ruins their axis too. I never drink when dancing.

 

[itwillhappen]

You’re lucky then, where I live (Belgium) pretty much everyone drinks at the milonga.

If you celebrate "authentic Argentine Tango", then alcohol, beef and rather mediocre dancing go well with the party.
For the sophisticated tango according to today's (European) standards, alcohol plays a subordinate role. So I was just at a (non-public) event in Antwerp where all drinks - including wine, prosecco and Belgian beer - were included. And no one was drunk, at least not if they still wanted to dance.

 

[ArbeeNYC]

So I was just at a (non-public) event in Antwerp where all drinks - including wine, prosecco and Belgian beer - were included. And no one was drunk, at least not if they still wanted to dance.

Open bar!

 

[Brummbaer]

...go well with the party...

It all depends on the objectives of the 'party'. Dance - and you stay sober-ish. Drive afterwards (not in a metropolis with a public transport infrastructure) - you stay below the limits, or arrange another driver.

 

[dchester]

I've had a full beard since covid. I actually planned to shave it off for tango, but my wife suggested that I keep it. It doesn't seem to have affected how many people dance with me.

 

[Brummbaer]

I've had a full beard since covid. I actually planned to shave it off for tango, but my wife suggested that I keep it. It doesn't seem to have affected how many people dance with me.

To misquote Joni Mitchell: You don't know what you've missed till it's gone.

 

[Tango Newbie]

I've had a full beard since covid. I actually planned to shave it off for tango, but my wife suggested that I keep it. It doesn't seem to have affected how many people dance with me.

Years ago I used to sport somewhat of a Tom Selleck-style moustache, and shaved it early-90's. Then after I retired from the military and before Covid I grew my beard out for the first and only time. It was too itchy and only lasted a couple weeks. However, short beards seem to work for a lot of guys.

A woman told me once, usually two kinds of men wear beads; those too lazy to shave, and those trying to hide their face (ashamed of their looks). My whiskers seem to grow fairly fast, and my S.O. has sensitive skin and wants me to be clean-shaven most of the time, so I've shaved 2 times some days (in the morning, and late in the day, especially before milongas). Aside from my S.O., other followers tend to rest their cheek on mine in the close-embrace, so I suppose they like my freshly clean-shaven face too.

When I worked in a very large aerospace company, and a guy in our office had a scraggly beard, and another guy (manager) told me in casual conversation (in reference to the other employee) he wouldn't let anything grow on his face that grows "wild" in other parts of the body.

 

[Bailango]

A woman told me once, usually two kinds of men wear beads; those too lazy to shave, and those trying to hide their face (ashamed of their looks).

The woman is totally off the mark. Neither makes much sense.

I have been clean shaven all my life. I do see a strong trend of sporting facial hair amongst the men in last 10-12 years. When I was younger most men were clean shaven. These days there is a significant increase of among college going and those in 20s/30s sporting facial hair. Most have well trimmed beards though it is not uncommon to see unkempt facial hair. Especially post Covid.

If beard was making them unattractive to others, they wouldn’t be keeping it. I am certain the younger lot thinks it is fashionable and makes them attractive. I am sure maintaining a beard requires some effort. Unless you let it flow like Jack Dorsey.

So neither of her argument makes logical sense to me and I find the argument rather lazy one

 

[Zhena]

On the question of "too lazy to shave", I agree with Bailango that there's a big difference between just letting the beard grow randomly and maintaining a beard. Back in the eighties my husband had an untrimmed beard that would occasionally frighten small children. He was clean-shaven for years after that and didn't seem concerned about the need to hide his face. But after a 2-week raft trip down the Grand Canyon when sand got into his battery-powered razor on the first day or two, he ended up with a gray beard that looked rather nice, and he left it to grow. He keeps it nicely trimmed. Once it was past the stubble stage it was reasonably soft.

He also found gray beard to be a useful accessory when traveling in Jordan, Egypt and Morocco.

 

[Brummbaer]

Unless you let it flow like Jack Dorsey.

And Pirates of the Caribbean
Or maybe Hagrid, Dumbledore or even Gandalf.

I used to like mine on the wild side - and with a reddish tinge. Less maintenance work, and useful when outdoors in the cold. Yes, there are fashion trends, and some women claim to like them (never found one), but if some prospective SO doesn't, or it becomes a liability (e.g. fitting a mask, fire!, irritating dance partners), then off it goes.

 

[Tango Newbie]

On the question of "too lazy to shave", I agree with Bailango that there's a big difference between just letting the beard grow randomly and maintaining a beard.

One thing that is hit-and-miss are those guys who actually maintain their beard (or goatee). I agree, some that are trimmed and maintained and can enhance a man's looks, with many others who let whatever they have just grow randomly.

Being former military, I strive to look my best, neat, squared away, with a fairly fresh haircut, and no facial hair.

In our tango community, there are a small number of guys with a 2-3 day growth, a small few with neatly-trimmed facial hair, usually small goatees, and a couple with scraggly beards that aren't really "full" and aren't 'trimmed' well (nor are they very flattering), and one who braids his chin-beard (with scraggly stuff on his cheeks).

All the women I've ever been with don't care for them, and liked me clean shaven anyways, especially now that some 'gray' has started to take over my head and facial hair...

My S.O. doesn't typically like even the slightest facial hair, and likes me clean-shaven. As I stated earlier, she likes dancing tango cheek-to-cheek many times, and other followers like resting their cheek lightly at times too, so it seems being clean-shaven is more 'comfortable' (tolerable) for them.

Nonetheless, here in Southern CA full beards are almost non-existent in our tango communities, with most men being clean-shaven.

 

[TA_RA]

Apologies if I am too direct but I do not like men with long beards. I never accept invite from a bearded man despite of his level of dancing. But I am in minority, so you should be fine.