Is "Connection" teachable..???

[bordertangoman]

I experienced the follower's tango connection thanks to a lady who was leading me, in a practice.
It raises more questions than answers. She was leading small quick steps. I just closed my eyes, relaxed and followed. is this experience repeatable? Was this my ability to relax my mind? why did it stop when the tempo changed?
can it be taught?

The sensation I experienced was like a relaxation of conscious control and some other part of my brain was operating on a purely reflexive manner.

I've had this experience before in a different context; on a massage course I had five people working on different parts of my body; at first I only felt one or two; wherever I put my attention; then I relaxed my attention and could feel all five.

I have to say i dont think the word connection is correct, but it will have to do.

 

[Zsana]

I never thought leader's tango connection was so different, so now I am interested how that feels like? For me, being a follower, connection is like moving together in kind of a clear and fluid union, including the feeling that the leader is attentive to my responses, rather than "only" leading his stuff.

I think this experience is definitely repeatable. Relaxing the mind will help (me) to feel what's going on, instead of guessing (thinking about the step) - also, closed eyes might help to focus on what you sense through the motion.

I believe it should not stop when the tempo changes - with a good lead and follow, tempo just does not make any difference in the connection - or the sensation described above. (No means of criticising anyone, actually, it is one of the most difficult things in tango to change tempo from quick to slow or back!)

 

[bordertangoman]

I never thought leader's tango connection was so different, so now I am interested how that feels like? For me, being a follower, connection is like moving together in kind of a clear and fluid union, including the feeling that the leader is attentive to my responses, rather than "only" leading his stuff.

I think this experience is definitely repeatable. Relaxing the mind will help (me) to feel what's going on, instead of guessing (thinking about the step) - also, closed eyes might help to focus on what you sense through the motion.

I believe it should not stop when the tempo changes - with a good lead and follow, tempo just does not make any difference in the connection - or the sensation described above. (No means of criticising anyone, actually, it is one of the most difficult things in tango to change tempo from quick to slow or back!)

@ Zsana; very interesting; i was just thinking about the reflex. I have on occasion caught a glass falling from a worktop, ; or at of all places, a musicality workshop; caught a sweet thrown past me; without thinking

so i was wondering; if the tempo is higher is the connection more likely to happen, becuase there is no time to think?

 

[UKDancer]

... so i was wondering; if the tempo is higher is the connection more likely to happen, becuase there is no time to think?

My experience of watching beginners has been that a break through often occurs when they realise that there isn't time to 'think' their way through every movement, but just 'do'. Suddenly, a capacity for more useful thought opens up, and they make real progress. It comes, usually, in turning: most beginners in most dance styles obsess about their feet, but we turn with the body (and the feet go where they go).

I think connection is like this - forget it, and as long as it is the useful, 'active forgetfulness' (rather than just paying no attention), then you get back the connection in spades. After that, what's a tempo change, but a qualitative change in the character of movement, that calls for a response, but which doesn't require active thought?

 

[bordertangoman]

My experience of watching beginners has been that a break through often occurs when they realise that there isn't time to 'think' their way through every movement, but just 'do'. Suddenly, a capacity for more useful thought opens up, and they make real progress. It comes, usually, in turning: most beginners in most dance styles obsess about their feet, but we turn with the body (and the feet go where they go).

I think connection is like this - forget it, and as long as it is the useful, 'active forgetfulness' (rather than just paying no attention), then you get back the connection in spades. After that, what's a tempo change, but a qualitative change in the character of movement, that calls for a response, but which doesn't require active thought?

if it were only as easy as writing about it.....as you have done so eloquently

( though I had to read the forst sentence twice to understand you meant 'breakthrough' not 'break through'

 

[Peaches]

To me, it sounds like you're wondering if it's possible to teach someone to be completely and utterly in the moment. I have my doubts about that. Perhaps it's possible through teaching about...I dunno...meditation or something, but taught as a part of tango? I don't think so. That said, I think you can fake it by teaching your body to follow and to be sensitive to changes that you feel. At some point things will happen by rote, even when you're not working with patterns...and then you're sort of close, even if you can't shut off your brain.

 

[Peaches]

ETA: if anyone _has_ found a way to teach being in the moment, I wish to god someone would let me in on that secret. I'd pay serious money to learn that.

 

[bordertangoman]

ETA: if anyone _has_ found a way to teach being in the moment, I wish to god someone would let me in on that secret. I'd pay serious money to learn that.

I'M ON IT.. i COULD DO WITH SOME SERIOUS MONEY

 

[mjnemeth]

This had nothing to do with dance but the DO teach this, I'll see if I can find my hand outs and notes but it will be a few week they are back in NJ.
Might be worth a google.

 

[Zsana]

I think you can fake it by teaching your body to follow and to be sensitive to changes that you feel.

Is that really a fake? When I am sensitive to changes, respond to them and follow the right way (no hurry nor too late), and have no idea or intention to find out the next step (how could I know? ) then I feel connected and in the moment. The previous moment is already gone, no need to think of it, and the next moment will reveal itself with the upcoming lead - which is then becomes THE moment.
Well, provided a clear lead (good embrace is always a must), quiet mind AND.. hmm.. commitment for your partner? Maybe, without commitment, it IS a fake anyway. Now I am confused

 

[UKDancer]

if it were only as easy as writing about it.

I didn't say it was easy - but of course, I did mean breakthrough (duh).

 

[bordertangoman]

Is that really a fake? When I am sensitive to changes, respond to them and follow the right way (no hurry nor too late), and have no idea or intention to find out the next step (how could I know? ) then I feel connected and in the moment. The previous moment is already gone, no need to think of it, and the next moment will reveal itself with the upcoming lead - which is then becomes THE moment.
Well, provided a clear lead (good embrace is always a must), quiet mind AND.. hmm.. commitment for your partner? Maybe, without commitment, it IS a fake anyway. Now I am confused

I cant help your confusion...i dont think this is about being in the moment.....as to a quiet mind, i dont think you can dance and have a quiet mind..its a contradiction...

 

[Zsana]

@ Zsana; very interesting; i was just thinking about the reflex. I have on occasion caught a glass falling from a worktop, ; or at of all places, a musicality workshop; caught a sweet thrown past me; without thinking

I know this !!! When that happens to me, I have to decide before I catch anything falling that I will do and catch - which is a kind of thinking, ain't it? (Though might take only an extremely short time, I do not catch anything without the intention of doing it - thus not thinking how I catch but "thinking" that I do catch. It feels like without thinking, indeed.)

so i was wondering; if the tempo is higher is the connection more likely to happen, becuase there is no time to think?

I guess there must be some other reason... for me, actually, it is usually easier when it is slow. I can 'no think' with lots of time I just try to focus on my senses instead.

 

[Zsana]

.....as to a quiet mind, i dont think you can dance and have a quiet mind..its a contradiction...

You mean, for a leader ? Leaders sure need to make decisions and do the lead which is the more active part of the communication - but you did relax your mind when you experienced the follower's tango connection so maybe it is not a contradiciton for followers.
Or maybe I used the wrong term, if relaxed and quiet mind being different, english is not my native language.

 

[AndaBien]

...can it be taught?...

I think it's important to make a distinction between teaching and learning. Yes, I'm sure it can be taught. I would say I've taught it.

Can it be learned? That's a different question. Some people learn it easily. Some people can learn it if they put in enough devoted effort. In my experience trying to teach it, some people cannot learn it. Their minds are just too fragmented. And, some people do not have the emotional ability to relax, release control and allow themselves to be led by another person.

I attended a workshop some years ago on body language. One drill was for a person to stand upright, close their eyes and fall backwards, just enough to loose balance. A person, or two or three, would stand behind the falling person and catch them. Some people had enough trust to simply fall. Other people could not do it.