Jealous spouses

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pygmalion

Well-Known Member
Just curious, because I've had a few interactions with jealous spouses of dance friends. Has anyone had problems/situations with jealous spouses?

Here's my story: Several months ago, I went to a studio outing, but arrived late because of a rain storm. When I got there, everybody from the studio was on the dance floor, so I plopped myself down into the first available seat. When the song was over, I realized that I was sitting next to a very insecure woman and her handsome, physician husband. They (especially she) spent the rest of the evening alternately ignoring and mistreating me, as if somehow, I was trying to steal the handsome husband/doc, which I wasn't! (Yuck ! too effeminate for me. :lol: ) No more details, to protect the innocent. (AND I'll tell the rest of the story later in this thread. :lol: )


Has anybody else had similar experiences? How did you handle it?
 
Situations like this - I treat with a large dose of ignore :D.
If you're feeling generous ignore the rude behavior and start a conversation with the wife, at which point she might get to know you as a person and get a little less uptight. If you don't have the energy to deal with all the bad vibes you can ignore the couple altogether and go and have fun with someone else asap.
If you're feeling bitchy you can pretend to be completely socially inept, ignore the jelous by-play, start a nice innocent conversation with the doc and watch gleefully as the tension levels rise. :twisted: [1]

Cheers
Sarah

[1]Not that I'd ever do this. Nooo.
Not even if they were being really rude. Bad for the Karma. But I might think about it.;)
 
That sounds really smart MissAlyssa!

I never really had this happen... I would be highly surprised if any wife saw me as a threat. The only couple I interact with at all around the dances (that I know of) are SwinginBoo and her beau Bruce. I dance with both of them... although I dance more dances with Bruce. There have even been a couple of times when Stephanie says, 'Here, you dance with 'im!' :lol: ... she's not the jealous type! ;) and she'd have no reason to be.
 
you are really lucky to have a friend with good self esteem. my best girl friend isn't jealous of me as I'm not of her. very healthy relationship!
 
MissAlyssa said:
I come across this when I'm teaching couples. I always always always build a repoire with the female first!!
Click to expand...

Yes. That's what I usually do, as well. Try to start a conversation with either the wife alone, or with the couple. And try to avoid dancing too many dances with any one person's husband. The last thing I want is someone thinking I'm trying to steal her man. I can get my own, thank you very much! :lol: :D
 
Swing Kitten said:
That sounds really smart MissAlyssa!

I never really had this happen... I would be highly surprised if any wife saw me as a threat. The only couple I interact with at all around the dances (that I know of) are SwinginBoo and her beau Bruce. I dance with both of them... although I dance more dances with Bruce. There have even been a couple of times when Stephanie says, 'Here, you dance with 'im!' :lol: ... she's not the jealous type! ;) and she'd have no reason to be.
Click to expand...

LOL, don't you realize that it's never good to dance with him after I've said that. :lol:

No I'm not jealous. Maybe once I was. But it was almost understandable. (I think). We were at a dance and all of a sudden this gorgeous blonde waltzes over (not literally) gives him a huge long hug, and says "Oh I haven't seen you in so long! How are you? Oh wow...blah blah blah" Then she grabbed him and dances with him without him introducing her to me. Well I just felt like my blood was boiling.

Afterwards he comes back laughing, and obviously I'm not laughing. :evil: He goes "I have no idea who that was." I'm like well she seems to know you. Anyways he didn't have a clue, except that he knew the friend she was with from a few years ago in the dance scene. He assumes he gave her a quick lesson at some point in the past.

So anyhow, that's my jealousy story. OH and by the way Swing Kitten, why would you say that no wife would see you as a threat? Aren't you the type that goes about stealing men from their women? :P
 
Sarah said:
Situations like this - I treat with a large dose of ignore :D.
If you're feeling generous ignore the rude behavior and start a conversation with the wife, at which point she might get to know you as a person and get a little less uptight.
Click to expand...

A large dose of ignore. :lol: I like that.

Actually, that's what I did in my jealous wife case. I ignored them both, husband and wife, for months. A real loss, since he's a great dancer.

Then, guess what happened? She got pretty seriously ill, and when she came back to the dance studio after a couple months' absence (sp?), I was the only person in the studio who accepted her back warmly. Nobody else liked her, either. Anyway. Long story short, she and I developed a friendship of sorts. I was so glad I hadn't told her off earlier. Things turned out well in the long run. And you never know why she was so insecure to start with. Never hurts to give others the benefit of the doubt. And a large dose of ignore helps a lot of situations. :D
 
Thanks, MissAlyssa.

I just did the best I could. I was so steamed at first, then just kind of resigned. When the opportunity came to make friends, I was shocked, but what the hey. An opportunity is an opportunity. Just grab it, and move on. It worked out well. Mostly good fortune. :D
 
Ladies never show you're jealous. Trust me if he's the cheating type there is nothing you can do about it except leave. Besides if he doesn't appreciate how wonderful you are you don't need him anyway.
And ladies always make another woman ease up by asking her permission if can dance with her spouse, boyfriend, or date. It gives her the control back and helps you gain respect from her and other ladies. Introducing yourself always helps. I almost always mention the fact I'm married with children.
 
Yes! Jealousy is a wasted emotion. I learned that long ago. If he wants to be with you, you can't make him leave. If he wants to leave, you can't make him stay. So why worry? Go with the flow. :lol:

And yes. Giving the wife/girlfriend/significant other control does help with the unnecessary displays of jealousy. :D
 
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