Learn to dance for him/her....does it ever work out?

[salsachinita]

How many times have we heard that "I learn to dance because he/she is into it"......?

This he/she might be a SO, a potential interest, a crush on a stranger etc.

How many of our DF members started t his way (before falling for DANCING itself :wink: ).......?

Does it ever work out....? I mean, did the plan work? Anyone still with their SO because of dancing.......?

Enquiring minds would like to know :wink: .........

*yes, Pacion......I'm a Copy Cat!.......meow...... *

 

[SDsalsaguy]

*yes, Pacion......I'm a Copt Cat!.......meow...... *

A Copt cat? What's that? A cat owned by Coptic Christinas? :wink: :lol:

As far as your question itself, it depends how one defines "worked out." I discovered dance and that has changed my entire life... if you mean in regards to the person in question, well, that's a bit more ambiguos. She remains my best friend and, in many ways, my soul mate... but nothing romantic ever worked out between us.

 

[danceguy]

I believe many people have found their mate through dance. Funny - I was talking with my Grandfather the other day (he's in his 80's) and I mentioned that I was dancing...and he started telling me stories about his dancing days...and it became very apparent to me that he was an incredible dancer in his youth! I had forgotten that he met my Grandmother at a dance, so my family legacy came from dancing!

One of my cousins is getting married this summer, and I can't wait to get my Grandpa to teach me a few dance moves...I've never had a lot in common with him, but when I mentioned dance, we suddenly had something new and wonderful to talk about. 8)

Didn't DanceMentor meet his wife through dancing? I read a beautiful story the other day about a woman who hit the wrong button on an elevator and ending up on a floor with a dance going on, and a man standing there offered to dance with her, and she later married him!

I'm a romantic as you all can tell...I simply love stories like this. :together:

SG

 

[Sagitta]

I know a lot of people who met the ones they married through dancing. The weird thing is that the majority are middle aged folks who did so through contra dancing, square dancing and the like. Perhaps in another 15 years it will change?

 

[salsachinita]

*yes, Pacion......I'm a Copt Cat!.......meow...... *

A Copt cat? What's that? A cat owned by Coptic Christinas? :wink: :lol:

Fortunately I can dance better than I can type !

*Mental Note to self: Never rush to post just before heading out for salsa :roll: *

 

[Pacion]

Thanks Salsachinita, but Pygmalion and SD were the ones that started me off on Enquiring minds :lol:

I think/believe that with anything, unless you/me have an "undiscovered" natural passion for something, which is only helped by meeting someone (either on a romantic level or otherwise) then there is no way that "passion" is going to continue. At least for me, I came to the realisation that I have to do it "for me". If I were to do it for "Bob, Robert, Luke or Arthur" (and not all at the same time :wink: ) my new found hobby would fizzle in 5 seconds

A few years ago, a boyfriend was interested in something or the other (lol, funny how I can't remember what it was! :shock: :lol: ) and I decided, that in the interest of our friendship/relationship, I would learn abit more about it (I think I bought some books and even looked at evening classes to learn more and I STILL can't remember what THAT thing was :shock: :lol: . Oh well, needless to say, on a scale of one to ten, my "passion" reminded about a two and oh yeah, we went separate ways :lol: and as you can see, my new found "passion" fizzled away

I think that experience (and something someone said to me) made me realise that any interest I have in a new hobby/thing has to ultimately come from me, that I am doing it for MYself. The other person can open your eyes to a hobby/sport/thing being out there but the true interest ultimately comes from within*.

that and/or having an enquiring mind :wink:

 

[Sabor]

Pacion's new motto for life: "Me, Myself and I" :lol: .. shhh dont tell anyone :bandit:

 

[Swing Kitten]

:lol: too funny Pacion!

The other person can open your eyes to a hobby/sport/thing being out there but the true interest ultimately comes from within*.

very true... and just because an ex introduced you to something does not mean you cannot still enjoy it when they are gone... although it could be difficult at first

 

[pygmalion]

Thanks Salsachinita, but Pygmalion and SD were the ones that started me off on Enquiring minds :lol:

I think/believe that with anything, unless you/me have an "undiscovered" natural passion for something, which is only helped by meeting someone (either on a romantic level or otherwise) then there is no way that "passion" is going to continue. At least for me, I came to the realisation that I have to do it "for me". If I were to do it for "Bob, Robert, Luke or Arthur" (and not all at the same time :wink: ) my new found hobby would fizzle in 5 seconds

A few years ago, a boyfriend was interested in something or the other (lol, funny how I can't remember what it was! :shock: :lol: ) and I decided, that in the interest of our friendship/relationship, I would learn abit more about it (I think I bought some books and even looked at evening classes to learn more and I STILL can't remember what THAT thing was :shock: :lol: . Oh well, needless to say, on a scale of one to ten, my "passion" reminded about a two and oh yeah, we went separate ways :lol: and as you can see, my new found "passion" fizzled away

I think that experience (and something someone said to me) made me realise that any interest I have in a new hobby/thing has to ultimately come from me, that I am doing it for MYself. The other person can open your eyes to a hobby/sport/thing being out there but the true interest ultimately comes from within*.

that and/or having an enquiring mind :wink:

I had a similar experience. New boyfriend who was a health nut and a vegetarian. All of a sudden, I decided to get "into" the vegetarian lifestyle, and even subscribed to a Vegetarian magazine/recipe book. Yikes! By the time I got my first issue, he and I had parted ways. Turned out he neglected to mention his non-vegetarian WIFE. :shock: Some men are such dogs! Uh. Snakes. :snake: (Gotta stick with the available smilies. LOL) I would even mention his name just out of spite, but it's been a long time, and he's a big shot in his field. I'll let God get him back. :twisted: :lol:

 

[tj]

From my own experiences, I think more times than not when a person (usually female) tries to encourage their partner (usually male) into learning to dance, it doesn't work out. I've seen lots of couples try this, and it usually ends up with them quitting or worse yet, breaking up.

On the other hand, when the person in question is self motivated, I've seen quite a few dancers learn quite well. There's that initial learning curve thing, and most find it quite daunting.

But dancers, both new and experienced, can and do end up dating each other most of the time. Two of my closest friends in Denver just recently got engaged, and they met in the salsa scene. The difference being that one isn't trying to coerce the other into learning how to dance.

It's that old cliche all over again - women get into relationships thinking they can change the guy while guys get into relationships expecting the gal not to change.

 

[Pacion]

while guys get into relationships expecting the gal not to change.

that's because they think they have chosen a "clone" of their mother :wink:

 

[johnnywalker]

I had an interest in dancing before I met my wife. We met at a dance studio, in fact. For us, it's great that we have this shared interest. However, a friend of ours from one Ballroom studio met her partner elsewhere. He came along and started taking lessons and came out to the clubs. When spoken to he would say he enjoyed it. After they were married, he suddenly stopped. He refused to go dancing and stated he didn't like it anymore. His mother-in-law even confided to my wife and I how she believed he only took up dancing to get with her daughter. We all thought it a shame considering our friends love of dancing; especially Swing.
They're still married and she doesn't dance much these days. She did do an eight week Tango course but seemed discouraged from continuing. He being the dominant personality in the relationship, I fear our friend will probably not return to regular dancing and will miss out on something she enjoyed so much.

 

[MacMoto]

Oh, that's so terrible!