I know there are many passionate dancers out there and I'm hoping that at some point some of you have gone through this. I'm looking for some advice. Dance was the world for me, I loved it and I couldn't get enough of it. It satisfied me deeply and took me to a world of happiness and joy beyond words. Unfortunately I find that's it's gone. For different circumstances, I haven't been able to go as often as I used. Now that I can, it holds no joy for me. I've lost it, dance does nothing like that for me. The joy I find in it now is a distant cry from what it was. It's where I'm not even bothered if I go out or not anymore. That disappoints me greatly, and I want it back so bad. Each time I go out and it's not there I get more disappointed and disheartened. I will try anything if anyone has any ideas!! :cry: :cry:
Lost the passion
- Thread starter passion
- Start date
Take some time off, do other things, maybe try a new dance style you haven't learned yet (although I would recommend grinding ... lol), maybe even find a creative to invent something new for a performance.
A deeper way fo discovery may lie in listening to your feelings, feeling them, taking soem time to reflect and find what is really disturbing you. It might be scary, it might be sad, it might even involve anger, yet letting these things rise to the surface of your conciousness will help you find true joy again.
A deeper way fo discovery may lie in listening to your feelings, feeling them, taking soem time to reflect and find what is really disturbing you. It might be scary, it might be sad, it might even involve anger, yet letting these things rise to the surface of your conciousness will help you find true joy again.
Sagitta
Well-Known Member
I have spent quite a while struggling with how to answer this question of passionate dancing passion. I have deleted and edited and started over and over again. Perhaps it is more to do with what means by passionate dancing. To me passionate dancing is having that connection with a partner: looking at each other, playing with each other with looks, with veils and combs. Draping hands, letting hands trace down the body as one turns and right into the palms of ones hand... Just think about this wants me to call her and ask her to dance!! It isn't what I'm doing, it isn't just the physical connection, but what to me is an intensely emotional one. If this is what you consider passionate dancing read on. If not then please clarify. There are other forms of passionate dancing, such as when one connects to a song, but so few really good songs are played in clubs I really cannot dance passionately for that reason. But with the right partner anything goes.
I have been so spoilt that if I don't get my dance fix and I repeatedly don't get it, I become like you. However, I keep going back because I know that's the only way I will get what I want, what I come to dance for. If you have read Boriken's posts about connection and just moving as one and my posts from last night that is what I want. I might be selfish once I have it and monopolize my partner most of the night, but I don't think anyone who really has had it can blame me. People see it and just say, "wow. You look as if you have been dancing together for a long time rather than just having met on the dance floor at night, you dance so well." Now this is for a person who just knows one move or two.
My advice is go out and dance with as many different people as possible. I do that to find "the connection". I wonder how many people know that's all what I want - that's what I hunger for - that's all I desire? Anyway I digress.
Now to find this emotional connection the physical connection must be there. Yet I won't get what I want unless I am open. If I do superficial flirting that's where it will stay. Almost like the difference between pop and real salsa music. This sounds almost mechanical, but it isn't. I use moves together with my emotional reaching out to offer a connection. The partner must look at me for it to work. Sometimes the other person just doesn't click, sometimes I feel the superficiality of their flirting and that they are closed to me. I thank them for the dance, I might enjoy it, but deep down at my core my heart, my soul, aches. Perhaps other people can just flirt, but my passion comes from being vulnerable, open. Perhaps some whom I feel a connection to can do it, but I cannot.
This is why I don't like dancers with this blanked out look on their faces. Follows who won't respond, barely look at me, seem bored, and get their thrill from some fancy move. If a person connects and interacts with me on a basic level my dancing immediately goes up. I'll do fancier moves while keeping the emotional connection. Perhaps the more skilled and experienced dancers like borikensalsero can dance passionately with anyone or many. However, to me, a mere beginner, with one year of salsa dance this is all that I can humbly offer.
Dance with many people, seek the emotional connection. Perhaps a break too? I was worn out and by cutting my dancing back last week I was more alert and found what I might have missed otherwise.
I have been so spoilt that if I don't get my dance fix and I repeatedly don't get it, I become like you. However, I keep going back because I know that's the only way I will get what I want, what I come to dance for. If you have read Boriken's posts about connection and just moving as one and my posts from last night that is what I want. I might be selfish once I have it and monopolize my partner most of the night, but I don't think anyone who really has had it can blame me. People see it and just say, "wow. You look as if you have been dancing together for a long time rather than just having met on the dance floor at night, you dance so well." Now this is for a person who just knows one move or two.
My advice is go out and dance with as many different people as possible. I do that to find "the connection". I wonder how many people know that's all what I want - that's what I hunger for - that's all I desire? Anyway I digress.
Now to find this emotional connection the physical connection must be there. Yet I won't get what I want unless I am open. If I do superficial flirting that's where it will stay. Almost like the difference between pop and real salsa music. This sounds almost mechanical, but it isn't. I use moves together with my emotional reaching out to offer a connection. The partner must look at me for it to work. Sometimes the other person just doesn't click, sometimes I feel the superficiality of their flirting and that they are closed to me. I thank them for the dance, I might enjoy it, but deep down at my core my heart, my soul, aches. Perhaps other people can just flirt, but my passion comes from being vulnerable, open. Perhaps some whom I feel a connection to can do it, but I cannot.
This is why I don't like dancers with this blanked out look on their faces. Follows who won't respond, barely look at me, seem bored, and get their thrill from some fancy move. If a person connects and interacts with me on a basic level my dancing immediately goes up. I'll do fancier moves while keeping the emotional connection. Perhaps the more skilled and experienced dancers like borikensalsero can dance passionately with anyone or many. However, to me, a mere beginner, with one year of salsa dance this is all that I can humbly offer.
Dance with many people, seek the emotional connection. Perhaps a break too? I was worn out and by cutting my dancing back last week I was more alert and found what I might have missed otherwise.
motardmom
New Member
DancePoet said:
I was going to say this very thing. It's ok to take a break, do something else for a while. People grow and change. You may or may not rediscover your passion for dance. Nobody said you have to be a dancer forever. Maybe you will find a passion for something else, do it for a while, then find that later you want to dance again?
cocodrilo
New Member
I agree entirely with Motardmom. Scorpionguy had pretty much the exact same thing on another thread- erad up because I think we all go through this at one point. I know I certainly have! Fortunately, I have a GAZILLION other interests and friends to share them with so I am never burned out. You can start to cheer up now because it will come back to you- maybe not with the same fever as you had before but you will still be able to enjoy dancing! 
Lucretia
New Member
Passion, do you feel that you have reached as far as you are prepared to go in your dancing. Are you at a advanced level or?
Me myself seems to loose the passion the day I have reached about 85% of what I can perform and then happens to hit the wall. If I have problems earlier I always rise up. But that late in the learningcurve I tend to loose my spirit and decide not to go for it anymore. Perhaps it's beacuse I'm afraid of not going to be perfect. An excuse or something. Or perhaps I'm content and don't feel any thrill anymore and want to go for new goals - I don't know.
Take a time off. Try to figure out if it's something else bothering you. It's important that you never ever feel that you must go dancing. Don't do it because you or anyone else expect you to do so.
Or try to evolve the connection theory that both Sagitta and Borikensalsero speak about in several threads. Then dancing becomes a true meeting - not a social rite - not a egotripped performance. True connection has really enriched my dancing.
/Luc
Me myself seems to loose the passion the day I have reached about 85% of what I can perform and then happens to hit the wall. If I have problems earlier I always rise up. But that late in the learningcurve I tend to loose my spirit and decide not to go for it anymore. Perhaps it's beacuse I'm afraid of not going to be perfect. An excuse or something. Or perhaps I'm content and don't feel any thrill anymore and want to go for new goals - I don't know.
Take a time off. Try to figure out if it's something else bothering you. It's important that you never ever feel that you must go dancing. Don't do it because you or anyone else expect you to do so.
Or try to evolve the connection theory that both Sagitta and Borikensalsero speak about in several threads. Then dancing becomes a true meeting - not a social rite - not a egotripped performance. True connection has really enriched my dancing.
/Luc
MacMoto
Active Member
Since I don't have an answer, I'll answer your question with a question. What do YOU think has caused this change? You say dance lost its magic after you had a period of not dancing as much as you used to then came back in full force. Do you feel that this semi-hiatus may somehow be the cause, or the circumstances that led you to it? How did the break affect you? Do you feel different vibes from the scene? Has your dancing changed, or perhaps your outlook -- what you seek from dancing?
What might work for you depends on what the root of the problem is. Maybe you need a compelete break, time away from dancing. Maybe you need a change of scene -- going to a new club or even out of town, or trying a new dance. Or perhaps, like in Sagitta's case, all you need is the right person(s) to dance with who can help you rediscover your passion.
What might work for you depends on what the root of the problem is. Maybe you need a compelete break, time away from dancing. Maybe you need a change of scene -- going to a new club or even out of town, or trying a new dance. Or perhaps, like in Sagitta's case, all you need is the right person(s) to dance with who can help you rediscover your passion.
Lita_rulez
New Member
All I can say is basically the same thing as everybody else : if going does not make you happy, then by all means don't !
I am presently in midst of such a period, but going uphill again (sort of)
I have been going out less and less lately, geting to the club later and later because the follow I realy enjoy dancing there are not coming much (fewer follow means fewer dances so why bother and get there to wait in line ? I'll go when they are available) and I had no motivation to go earlier. I stoped going several times a week to only go once a week. and even that I had to drag myself out more often then not.
I was considering letting dance alone alltogether for a while.
And then last week I came out of a meeting not far from the club late at night (well, late for a work night, but a hell lot earlyer than I usually go there to dance) and on an impulse, I decided to go straght to the club instead of going home.
Well I had a blast ! I have danced with I believe at least half the follow that were there that night, a good 2/3 of wich were beginners, but I had a very good time. I mean, I only knew 2 follow that night, and I know one of them is one I get a great connection with, but I also got great connection with at least 3 or 4 other follows, and that made my night.
Actually, it made my week !
So you see, I believe not forcing yourself to go out is the right thing to do. When you don't feel like dancing, then don't go. Just wait it out, do something else, get your mind off of the dance. And when you feel a suden impulse to dance, oblige it, you might end up having a wonderfull surprise
I am presently in midst of such a period, but going uphill again (sort of)
I have been going out less and less lately, geting to the club later and later because the follow I realy enjoy dancing there are not coming much (fewer follow means fewer dances so why bother and get there to wait in line ? I'll go when they are available) and I had no motivation to go earlier. I stoped going several times a week to only go once a week. and even that I had to drag myself out more often then not.
I was considering letting dance alone alltogether for a while.
And then last week I came out of a meeting not far from the club late at night (well, late for a work night, but a hell lot earlyer than I usually go there to dance) and on an impulse, I decided to go straght to the club instead of going home.
Well I had a blast ! I have danced with I believe at least half the follow that were there that night, a good 2/3 of wich were beginners, but I had a very good time. I mean, I only knew 2 follow that night, and I know one of them is one I get a great connection with, but I also got great connection with at least 3 or 4 other follows, and that made my night.
Actually, it made my week !
So you see, I believe not forcing yourself to go out is the right thing to do. When you don't feel like dancing, then don't go. Just wait it out, do something else, get your mind off of the dance. And when you feel a suden impulse to dance, oblige it, you might end up having a wonderfull surprise
''to watch us dance, is to listen to our heart speak"
"It is the person, and not society that art mirrors"
.. maybe u have something in your corazon thats not working as it used to.. maybe u need to experience dancing on new levels.. in new grounds .. in new terms.. maybe u need to dance with those few who really reach in, grab your soul and bare it out and cover it with their passion.. maybe u need some sort of ''quickening''.. maybe u need a change of perception.. maybe u need to be around those who make u feel good and loved on the floor.. maybe u need sensuality.. poetry by motion
try to travel and experience different scenes.. maybe PuertoRico.. maybe Cuba.. i dont know.. it may help
and if u ever come across Africa.. pass by Egypt.. and maybe favor me with dance from the heart
best of luck!
"It is the person, and not society that art mirrors"
.. maybe u have something in your corazon thats not working as it used to.. maybe u need to experience dancing on new levels.. in new grounds .. in new terms.. maybe u need to dance with those few who really reach in, grab your soul and bare it out and cover it with their passion.. maybe u need some sort of ''quickening''.. maybe u need a change of perception.. maybe u need to be around those who make u feel good and loved on the floor.. maybe u need sensuality.. poetry by motion
try to travel and experience different scenes.. maybe PuertoRico.. maybe Cuba.. i dont know.. it may help
and if u ever come across Africa.. pass by Egypt.. and maybe favor me with dance from the heart
best of luck!
Vin
New Member
passion, I totally get where you are coming from. In fact there are times I don't even want to go and circumstance or expectations force me to go. Saturday was a prime example of this. I did not really want to go out, a friend called, I had nothing else planned yet and so I got corralled into going. I was not even planning on dancing. I sat there watching some of the dancers for about 1/2 an hour and to tell the truth I was content to just watch(very rare for me). I would have probably just watched and socialized with my friends for the rest of the night but after a while someone came up to us and pointed out a group of women who wanted to dance, he introduced us and we started.
I started dancing with a very attractive follow from c. america who claimed she did not know how to dance. In a way she was right, she did not know all the technical turns, spins and other tricks. But in a more fundamental way she was wrong, she knew how to flirt, move to the music and converse at the same time, this made for a great connection even though we didn't do all the fancy moves that we can get so caught up in.
I ended up dancing most of the rest of the night and having a great time. Sometimes what we need is a reminder of why we dance. Sometimes what we need is a break, and sometimes what we need is a friend to call us and convince us to go dance.
That being said, I suggest taking it easy, if you get corraled into going dancing, just sit and watch some dancers for a while and when you can tell that it is time for you to dance again, then you should go dance again.
I started dancing with a very attractive follow from c. america who claimed she did not know how to dance. In a way she was right, she did not know all the technical turns, spins and other tricks. But in a more fundamental way she was wrong, she knew how to flirt, move to the music and converse at the same time, this made for a great connection even though we didn't do all the fancy moves that we can get so caught up in.
I ended up dancing most of the rest of the night and having a great time. Sometimes what we need is a reminder of why we dance. Sometimes what we need is a break, and sometimes what we need is a friend to call us and convince us to go dance.
That being said, I suggest taking it easy, if you get corraled into going dancing, just sit and watch some dancers for a while and when you can tell that it is time for you to dance again, then you should go dance again.
I think it's quite normal for experienced dancers to go thru blah times in your scene. There are lots of ways to cope with this.
Here are a few.
(I know that my post dealt more with an evening with a skewed ratio of men/women, but this applies to losing passion for one's scene as well.)
Here are a few.
(I know that my post dealt more with an evening with a skewed ratio of men/women, but this applies to losing passion for one's scene as well.)
I want to thank you all for your input. Sometimes I'm not quite clear on the reasons why I've lost it.
Macmoto, you've posed some very good questions that I will take the time and ponder.
The passion in my dancing is some of what you've said, but it's also more than that for me. I started dancing at a very young age, and had to take a long hiatus which was quite a bit upsetting. I rediscovered dance and my love for it with salsa a few years ago. The passion with which I gain from dancing is a type of freeing of my mind and body and allows to me to express myself and my love of music and movement. Having a good connection with a partner intensifies the passion and is an added highlight to the dance.
Good luck with your continuing rise back up Lita-rulez.
Those are all things I think that I have to find again.
I'm not sure if taking a break will help me in finding the love for dance again. I had a break with only dancing once a week or not at all. Having that break seemed to bother me more because of the knowledge of what is lost and not desired brings me down.
Traveling is always a good idea. I used to travel to dance quite often. That's definetly something I have to add to my agenda.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I will keep trying however, I'm not one for giving up on something that has been a part of my life for most of my life. Maybe relaxing and not dancing while I'm there, and by letting the music fill me will give me the urge to dance. I'll try to take a different look at the dance, the music and the people around me and see it as a visceral presence to aid me in the path of finding the joy of it again.
Macmoto, you've posed some very good questions that I will take the time and ponder.
sagitta said:
The passion in my dancing is some of what you've said, but it's also more than that for me. I started dancing at a very young age, and had to take a long hiatus which was quite a bit upsetting. I rediscovered dance and my love for it with salsa a few years ago. The passion with which I gain from dancing is a type of freeing of my mind and body and allows to me to express myself and my love of music and movement. Having a good connection with a partner intensifies the passion and is an added highlight to the dance.
Good luck with your continuing rise back up Lita-rulez.
sabor said:
Those are all things I think that I have to find again.
I'm not sure if taking a break will help me in finding the love for dance again. I had a break with only dancing once a week or not at all. Having that break seemed to bother me more because of the knowledge of what is lost and not desired brings me down.
Traveling is always a good idea. I used to travel to dance quite often. That's definetly something I have to add to my agenda.
I have a lot of thinking to do. I will keep trying however, I'm not one for giving up on something that has been a part of my life for most of my life. Maybe relaxing and not dancing while I'm there, and by letting the music fill me will give me the urge to dance. I'll try to take a different look at the dance, the music and the people around me and see it as a visceral presence to aid me in the path of finding the joy of it again.
Big10
Member
passion --
Occasional burnout happens to all of us who dance regularly, and I think it's clear to everybody (including yourself) that you need a little break. I think it's just part of human nature that we need to recharge our batteries, especially when our mind has been overloaded with a single activity.
However, to make it easier, maybe you shouldn't focus on your break as "not dancing" -- but instead as "taking some time to check out other things." For example, on nights when you might otherwise be dancing, perhaps you can plan to see a movie, or visit a museum, or have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile, or get recommendations on good books to read, etc. Don't just sit at home twiddling your thumbs and thinking of how you could be dancing. Take part in some other activities that you find enjoyable.
After you have allowed other parts of your brain/personality to be stimulated, then the part of you requiring dance should become a little more "eager" again. At least that has been my experience.
Occasional burnout happens to all of us who dance regularly, and I think it's clear to everybody (including yourself) that you need a little break. I think it's just part of human nature that we need to recharge our batteries, especially when our mind has been overloaded with a single activity.
However, to make it easier, maybe you shouldn't focus on your break as "not dancing" -- but instead as "taking some time to check out other things." For example, on nights when you might otherwise be dancing, perhaps you can plan to see a movie, or visit a museum, or have dinner with a friend you haven't seen in awhile, or get recommendations on good books to read, etc. Don't just sit at home twiddling your thumbs and thinking of how you could be dancing. Take part in some other activities that you find enjoyable.
After you have allowed other parts of your brain/personality to be stimulated, then the part of you requiring dance should become a little more "eager" again. At least that has been my experience.