"I haven't been able to do this with my own body if my partner isn't doing it. It's like I need to play against something, and if the guy is just doing things with no change to the tone of his body, then I can't figure out how to do it with mine. Any help or suggestions out there?"
I went for a hike today instead of posting right away, so here's what I wrote earlier today...
I'm really glad that Peaches wrote about this, because I love this sort of thing, but as I say and write, it isn't something that you can outright give to someone else. It's a partnership thing. You can put it out there, but it can be like talking in an empty room if the other person "doesn't get it", or doesn't know what to do with it..
In other words, I can do things with my own body, which probably my partners can feel (connection, haptic communication, connection...), but what encourages me to keep doing that is when I feel them responding to what I do.
I guess my point is, just as you noted, it takes two people to make this happen.
Now, as to what you might do...
For instance, take the initiative with your own "changes of pressure". If you know there is a pause coming up, try to make him pause, or suggest that he pause by "making yourself heavy" ie give him more resistance.
Musical moment light and airy? Make yourself light and airy.
Has the music taken on a heavy quality?
You can use your own body to create tension, and release it as the man steps toward you. All you have to do is let a bit more pressure build up before you "take your step".
Try stretching out a step (make it last longer that it might be if you didn't respond to the music, when there is a "streched" out note in the music). Again you are "resisting" the impluse to complete the step earlier, and he should feel that. One place to practice this would be at the end of songs, where you sometimes get a scretched out ending. Then move it to specific phrases in the music.
You could also "stretch out" either the early or late phase of a step, and "make up the time" by compressing the other part of the step.
If the man is coming towards you, he almost HAS to feel this. In this way you are using your own connection to the floor.
Does the music feel circular to you (it often does to me towards the ends of songs when the bandoneon takes the lead)? If there is any angular momentum between you and your partner, make your self "post like" ie really ground yourself solidly over your standing foot, at the same time use your upper body to "suggest" that your partner keep goiing in that direction around you.
We've talked about how the steps of the molinete can be danced to go with the phrasing of the music, and to me this is just an extension of the thinking that you aren't "just following".
One of my favorites is when my partner begins to sway her upper body / shoulders during certain milongas. To me that says "Hey, let's play with this thing that's in the music".
Now, all of this may go unnoticed if the guy has never experienced this before. You have to go slow with this. You are making the dance equivelant of a convesational gambit.
Always try simple things a couple of times. Often, I won't notice something until the moment has passed. But I'll think, "Did she do that on purpose?" and try to be ready for it the next time, or do something along the same lines as we dance.
Another way to approach it is to get some sense of which teachers teach this sort of thing, and then try to figure out who takes, or has taken lessons from them.
"I swear it’s like I can feel the momentum flow up from the floor through his body and into his shoulders"
The teachers teach about "being grounded". The physicists (what few there are who get involved with dance) tell us that we move by pushing against the floor, and the floor pushes back against us. Through a heightened sense of "touch", or a "well toned embrace", and a body that is otherwise "still", or a combination of all of the above, you can now feel this.
I'd say, too, that you are describing the same sort of connectedness that we leaders talk about when we say we can feel our partners steps as if they were our own. THAT is the sort of feeling you want to give to your partner. And I'd guess you are doing that if you can feel it from him.
Other than trying some of the things I've mentioned, some of which I know may not be totally on the mark, unfortunately, in general you can't have really really good dances with people who aren't really really good dancers. And the more you learn about the really sweet stuff...
I went for a hike today instead of posting right away, so here's what I wrote earlier today...
I'm really glad that Peaches wrote about this, because I love this sort of thing, but as I say and write, it isn't something that you can outright give to someone else. It's a partnership thing. You can put it out there, but it can be like talking in an empty room if the other person "doesn't get it", or doesn't know what to do with it..
In other words, I can do things with my own body, which probably my partners can feel (connection, haptic communication, connection...), but what encourages me to keep doing that is when I feel them responding to what I do.
I guess my point is, just as you noted, it takes two people to make this happen.
Now, as to what you might do...
For instance, take the initiative with your own "changes of pressure". If you know there is a pause coming up, try to make him pause, or suggest that he pause by "making yourself heavy" ie give him more resistance.
Musical moment light and airy? Make yourself light and airy.
Has the music taken on a heavy quality?
You can use your own body to create tension, and release it as the man steps toward you. All you have to do is let a bit more pressure build up before you "take your step".
Try stretching out a step (make it last longer that it might be if you didn't respond to the music, when there is a "streched" out note in the music). Again you are "resisting" the impluse to complete the step earlier, and he should feel that. One place to practice this would be at the end of songs, where you sometimes get a scretched out ending. Then move it to specific phrases in the music.
You could also "stretch out" either the early or late phase of a step, and "make up the time" by compressing the other part of the step.
If the man is coming towards you, he almost HAS to feel this. In this way you are using your own connection to the floor.
Does the music feel circular to you (it often does to me towards the ends of songs when the bandoneon takes the lead)? If there is any angular momentum between you and your partner, make your self "post like" ie really ground yourself solidly over your standing foot, at the same time use your upper body to "suggest" that your partner keep goiing in that direction around you.
We've talked about how the steps of the molinete can be danced to go with the phrasing of the music, and to me this is just an extension of the thinking that you aren't "just following".
One of my favorites is when my partner begins to sway her upper body / shoulders during certain milongas. To me that says "Hey, let's play with this thing that's in the music".
Now, all of this may go unnoticed if the guy has never experienced this before. You have to go slow with this. You are making the dance equivelant of a convesational gambit.
Always try simple things a couple of times. Often, I won't notice something until the moment has passed. But I'll think, "Did she do that on purpose?" and try to be ready for it the next time, or do something along the same lines as we dance.
Another way to approach it is to get some sense of which teachers teach this sort of thing, and then try to figure out who takes, or has taken lessons from them.
"I swear it’s like I can feel the momentum flow up from the floor through his body and into his shoulders"
The teachers teach about "being grounded". The physicists (what few there are who get involved with dance) tell us that we move by pushing against the floor, and the floor pushes back against us. Through a heightened sense of "touch", or a "well toned embrace", and a body that is otherwise "still", or a combination of all of the above, you can now feel this.
I'd say, too, that you are describing the same sort of connectedness that we leaders talk about when we say we can feel our partners steps as if they were our own. THAT is the sort of feeling you want to give to your partner. And I'd guess you are doing that if you can feel it from him.
Other than trying some of the things I've mentioned, some of which I know may not be totally on the mark, unfortunately, in general you can't have really really good dances with people who aren't really really good dancers. And the more you learn about the really sweet stuff...
