n00b question - think i'm missing something

M

mikeology

New Member
sorry if this has been answered, i poked around a bit but didn't quite find what i was looking for.

so i went to an awesome house party last night. the place was really cool, the dj's were right on (for a bit). definitely dancing my bum off and not paying attention to anything but the music and the general feel-good vibe of this party. so pretty soon this girl is dancing really close to me. what do i do?? the music was too loud for me to say anything (and what would i say anyway), so i just went back to my zone and kept dancing.

half an hour later, the same thing happens, except now my friends have disappeared (probably for a smoke or a drink) and i'm noticing things on my own. this cute girl who was at the front of the party near the dj's worked her way away from her friends to come dance 6" in front of me. this is where i realized i was doing something horribly wrong - after a couple tracks she looked disappointed and walk/danced away. :( bummer - i'm pretty sure i should have been grinding with these girls, but i also hate creeping people out with unwanted attention. little help? thanks party people
 
hi MIkeology - welcome to DF :) I wish I could help you withis but unfortuantely, my generation didn't invent grinding :( Hopefully someone a bit younger will have some insight.

What kind of dancing do you like to do?
 
welcome to DF...not sure what kind of help you are looking for...if it is info on grinding, what we will say about it has already been said in several old threads...otherwise, you might want to clarify...
 
thanks for the replies, sorry if this is unclear.

@elisedance - i dance to typical electronic dance music, usually the clubs/parties i go to play minimal or breaks/dubstep type stuff.

@fascination - this is probably more of an etiquette question than anything about actually grinding. it's just that i generally grind with friends, and i've been told random grinding makes girls uncomfortable. so when i was presented with a couple chances, i didn't take them, and ended up disappointing the girls. so to rephrase:

girl 6" in front of me, facing the same direction as i am, and clearly wanting attention from me. what do i do?

one of my female friends said to move closer and then pull her in by her waist while continuing to dance. is this good advice?

thanks again
 
I am no expert on this but it seems to me that if you are engaged in a particular type of movement 6 inches away and then you move in a few inches with the same sort of movement and you don't get a red light that is one way to approach it...you could also just ask...while it may seem lame to some...to others it might seem polite..."are you accustomed to doing this in contact?"...this site really isn't the best place to seek much help in that regard b/c it has very little to do with club dancing and almost nothing to do with grinding or grinding etiquette if that isn't an oxymoron in and of itself...best of luck to you ...
 
fascination said:
I am no expert on this but it seems to me that if you are engaged in a particular type of movement 6 inches away and then you move in a few inches with the same sort of movement and you don't get a red light that is one way to approach it...
Click to expand...

good point, thanks
 
I'm no grinder by any stretch of the imagination (I'll stick to my ballroom/latin thank you very much), but many times simple nonverbal communication works when you can't talk to the person. Perhaps a smile to indicate you liked her attention to your dancing? Make eye contact, smile, grin, whatever. If you didn't, she probably thought you thought she was encroaching on your personal space or something.
 
All I will say is that I am glad I am not that young to have to deal with that. Give me the Standard styles...class and sophistication...is the name of the game for me that is :-)
 
Move in closer and starting 'mirroring' that is copy her moves as if you were in a mirror, if she's comfortable with that then add some variations - if she starts to mirror your variations, you've cracked it.

This also applies off the dance floor. . . . .
 
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