Need some partner advice

Piggles

Piggles

Member
Last Friday I was at my studio's social and had a couple of dances with one of the pros. We got to talking and out of the blue he asked me if I'd be interested in becoming his pro dance partner. He said that he'd been watching me and liked my work ethic and abilities, and would bring me up to his level. I was rendered completely speachless (!), and asked for some time to consider it. Clearly he sees something I don't...

I've been looking for a competitive partner for the past year, but my city has a very small dance community and it's been difficult to find someone within 10 years of my age (33 yrs). My husband dances socially and fully supports me accepting the pro's offer. He suggests that I give it a try, not ask too many questions, and just let things unfold naturally.

I don't know this pro very well (at all?), but he trains an amateur couple that I enjoy watching. They're at the standard bronze level, but they move very well together. Dancing with this pro for the first time on Friday felt like butter.

I've never had a partner before, and this seems like a tremendous step forward (too good to be true?). Any advice about what to do and partnering stumbles to avoid would be much appreciated. I figure that a partnership is in many ways like a marriage, but there's likely some very different aspects that need to be considered.

Please Help!
 
I like your husband's advice in the abstract but you do need to consider several things, namely the level of commitment you'd need. Both the monetary commitment and the time commitment as well. Professional dancing requires more time commitment than amateur dancing, in many respects. It also requires a lot of money for travel, costumes, frequent coaching etc., especially for a couple just starting out who are not sponsored, don't have routines, etc. Before you accept formally, have a talk with your potential partner about *at least* those two aspects of professional partner dancing. What kind of time expenditure does he expect out of a partner, how many competitions does he foresee doing, etc. because it'll give you a better idea of what you are looking at if you agree.

Also, one thing for your husband to think about before dispensing his very optimistic advice;) is that he'll be seeing a lot less of you if you become a professional dancer and another man will be seeing a lot more of you... It's another thing that you really need to think about and make sure you're both comfortable with it.

You don't have much to lose by dancing with him, it seems off hand, but you do need to know exactly what you are getting into, having not had much experience with dance partnerships of any kind before.

I am sure you will get many more suggestions here beyond the above but it's an important starting point.
 
Ithink is giving you some sound viewpoints and goals. What specifically is your "pro" dance goals, costs, time investment-which can be greater than you ever imagined, your DH may not appreciate nor understand what the time committment is to coaching, dancing, practice, performance, studio shows, teaching, competing, etc, etc. Also, if you go down this path - and you decide that it is not for you, no matter how well you dance with pro - do not feel remorse about a "no-thank you" decision. I spent so much time with my partner - he was/is known as my 2nd husband as an inside joke. Examine this opportunity carefully.
 
I second everything IThink has said, and in addition would recommend having a good old sit down heart-to-heart with this pro. Get everything out in the open, and then take some time and make your decision from there.
good luck!
 
Agree with the above considerations. Also keep in mind if you plan to have a continued interest in competition, that once you declare yourself a pro, there's some hoops you have to jump through to go back to amateur. So be careful if you decide to "try it" that you're off the fence before you actually declare yourself pro and compete as one.

And make sure he's right for you. Like was said above, you'll be spending a lot of time with him. It's not enough that you be right for him, he needs to be right for you too!

And just a word of warning, a nugget to keep in mind. Be careful that his intentions are truly honorable and truly about dancing. That he's not flattering you to get something other than a dance partner out of you. It's easy to be swept up and lose your head about possible weirdness in the dance world that would be obvious to us in the "real" world.

All that said, good luck! It is an exciting possibility for you!
 
One thing to talk about is who the partnership will go to for external input... you will want to see how you feel with them and get their input. But then you probably won't be entering a pro event until having had a lot of coaching together so that may take care if itself. Until you register as a pro, enter a pro event, or take your own students to a proam comp you would have no obstacles to being an amateur competitor again, though at least in the us if you teach at all you can no longer be a proam student competitor. That last might be important if the idea of doing a proam comp together as a trial run comes into consideration.
 
Questions to ask (some of which may already have been mentioned by others) :
  • What are your goals?
  • What time commitment? Travel commitment? Expenses?
  • Why me?
  • Does he have a significant other? (Use discretion in asking this)
 
Am usually more positive than this, but...

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, mug, and foam hat.

Twice.

And I swore I won't ever do it again.

This has several well-defined stages (IME):

  1. Wow (so that's how you do that...)
  2. Impatience (I don't understand, why is he so short with me?...it's just been 3 years...and you know, I'm better than he thinks...)
  3. Disillusion (well...I don't think he knows what he's talking about...)
  4. Anger and Loss of faith (Damn if I'm not looking for another partner this weekend...)
  5. Deep Sigh (realizing after a couple of partners later that he WAS right about a good number of things... and was indeed, a really good partner)

It takes time to build a partner from scratch--there is just no shortcut (at least that I know of).

The waiting (and losing) does take its toll on one or both.

The irony is, by the time the trainee is ready, more often than not, the relationship has disintegrated.

Piggles, I'm not saying that your experience will follow the same track... but it will take extraordinary effort and patience (and realizing that) to pull it off.



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Thanks for the advice folks. I read your replies and decided to talk to my studio owner. In a nutshull, she told me that she'd be very supportive if it was a different dancer/pro, but that our goals were different and this fellow just wasn't for me.

Looks like this little piggie is still on the market.
 
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